“If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.”
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What's a common phrase you heard from Dad growing up?
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My mother always has some great one liners. I still quote to them in passing to friends and they think I am a time travelers from the 30's.
Referring to someone who has close to nothing- "he doesn't have a pot to **** to in or a window to throw it out of."
"He doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain."
"Slicker than goosesh*t".
"Tighter than a bull's a** during fly season."
My father has some choice ones as well:
"I'm so hungry I could eat the rice out of a dead Chinaman's a**."
"Couldn't hit a bear in the a** with a bag full of banjos."
"I'm so hungry I could eat the a** end out of a buzzard."
"I could whip you with a knotted plowline."
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