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    #16
    When my father-in-law passed away from cancer, my mother-in-law stayed in their house for about a year, but then she decided to move to a neighboring town that has an apartment complex of mainly retired people. They lived in that house for over 40 years together and it was just too many memories coming back all the time for her, so she opted to move to try and start over so to speak. It was a good decision for her, but she didn't have anyone there with her. She actually moved about 30 minutes closer to us so that has helped too...Many prayers for you sir! I don't know what I'd do without mine

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      #17
      To fully understand that there is purpose behind everything, even death. Without death there can be no life.

      The Master knows to be grateful for death so that there can be life.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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        #18
        I have nothing but prayers for you Randy. But I have plenty of them. I pray that the grieving process gets easier as time goes on. Just remember that a place has been prepared for her and now she prepares a place for you so y’all can spend eternity together.

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          #19
          Immerse yourself into your passion(s). Find new things to occupy your mind, body, and spirit. The void will never be gone, just know that the reunion will be glorious. May God bless you my friend.

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            #20
            Yes, Randy, I'm sure it is going to be tough. We aren't meant to be alone. Prayers and hugs for comfort for you.

            Look into grief counseling, preferably a group. My mom took 2 years to do that and she wishes she had done it earlier.

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              #21
              Thanks everyone. I know it's going to take time. It just hurts so much. The one thing I have going for me is GOOD FRIENDS. Between everyone on TBH and the guy's here in the shop, I'll get through this.

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                #22
                Try to stay busy to keep your mind off of it as much as possible. It's gonna be hard for a while. By a while I mean forever. But over time things will get easier. Sometimes I remember someone I cared about and is no longer here and start crying. It kind of freaked me out the first few times it happened but it's normal. At least I think so. You don't ever want to forget about her. That's how people truly die.

                I haven't lost a spouse, but several people I cared about dearly. I don't know that you ever get over it. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. You're feeling how you're supposed to be feeling. Over time you'll feel less that way. But you'll always have that empty feeling in your heart where that void isn't filled.

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                  #23
                  lonely

                  Originally posted by Mitchell8 View Post
                  Have a relationship with Jesus. Your prayers will be heard in your times of loneliness and sadness he is listening. You’re never alone if you have a relationship with Jesus. He is the comforter that ultimately can heal.
                  I have a great relation with Jesus but I cant snuggle up with Him. Unless you have been there there is no way to understand. It is a whole different level loneliness. As the song says you never know lonely till it's written in stone. You don't realize how many couples there are until you are without a partner. God realized how important it is. He saw it was not good for man to be alone so he created woman. I tried the counseling and it helped some. After about 10 months of trying to deal with it , God had mercy on me and sent a special lady for me to share my life with. Without her I honestly don't think I would have made it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. 21 years later i still miss her but it's not a constant thought any longer. I will be praying for you because I know how much you need them.

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                    #24
                    There is a lot of wisdom on this board when it matters the most. Prayers to all of you who posted with losses. It is good to see the encouragement all of you are giving.

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by Goldeneagle View Post
                      With the sudden loss of my wife, Alecia, I have been busy taking care of her affairs. Calling daily to take care of something or another. I know it's been a couple of months now, but now that everything has settled down, it's really sinking in hard. I wake up and she's not there. I don't get my daily call at lunch time. I get home and she's not there. I go to bed and she's not there. I'm really starting to have issue's. For those that have lost a spouse, how do you deal with it? I'm missing her something bad.
                      Lost my beautiful wife of almost 48 years just over 3 years ago. I am not going to tell you a story to make you feel better, it hurts and it is going to hurt for some time. Although time itself has helped I still cry and don't give a rip who sees me. Not as often but it still happens. Heck I shed a tear reading and then re-reading your post knowing how your heart hurts. I thought, this man is hurting like I hurt . But it will be OK for you after some time. I go to the cemetery with a chair, sit and talk to my Chris often and sometimes take a lunch and eat with her. I have nightmares though as I watched her die at Mayo Clinic. I wished I could get past those.

                      I live alone and it has been tough. Been looking for a Jadgterrier as a pet to keep me going. The walls at night around bedtime close in and the silence in the morning bother me the most. I walk by her chair in the living room when I get up hoping she was sitting there praying her rosary like she did everyday and that this is just a nightmare but she is never there.

                      You hang in there and I will include you in my Sunday prayers for the grieving while at at mass. God Bless.
                      Last edited by Jon Stewart; 09-29-2022, 11:47 AM.

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                        #26
                        Someone told me after Chris died when I kept asking WHY at age 67, WHY. They said, "God picks the prettiest flowers first".

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by Jon Stewart View Post
                          Lost my beautiful wife of almost 48 years just over 3 years ago. I am not going to tell you a story to make you feel better, it hurts and it is going to hurt for some time. Although time itself has helped I still cry and don't give a rip who sees me. Not as often but it still happens. Heck I shed a tear reading and then re-reading your post knowing how your heart hurts. I thought, this man is hurting like I hurt . But it will be OK for you after some time. I go to the cemetery with a chair, sit and talk to my Chris often and sometimes take a lunch and eat with her. I have nightmares though as I watched her die at Mayo Clinic. I wished I could get past those.

                          I live alone and it has been tough. Been looking for a Jadgterrier as a pet to keep me going. The walls at night around bedtime close in and the silence in the morning bother me the most. I walk by her chair in the living room when I get up hoping she was sitting there praying her rosary like she did everyday and that this is just a nightmare but she is never there.

                          You hang in there and I will include you in my Sunday prayers for the grieving while at at mass. God Bless.
                          I'm having nightmares reliving the moment I had to tell the docs to turn off the life support. Hardest decision anyone can ever make.
                          Originally posted by Jon Stewart View Post
                          Someone told me after Chris died when I kept asking WHY at age 67, WHY. They said, "God picks the prettiest flowers first".
                          Alecia was 70 and I believe the quote is very fitting. God bless you too sir.

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                            #28
                            I’ve often thought about the what ifs and it’s not a good thought. My wife and I have been married for forty years and I would be lost without her. I feel sorry for the survivors but all I can do is pray for comfort. I lost my Dad when I was twenty and that was plenty tough for me. After 55 years it has faded but not gone. Remember the good times you had.

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                              #29
                              Originally posted by Drycreek3189 View Post
                              I’ve often thought about the what ifs and it’s not a good thought. My wife and I have been married for forty years and I would be lost without her. I feel sorry for the survivors but all I can do is pray for comfort. I lost my Dad when I was twenty and that was plenty tough for me. After 55 years it has faded but not gone. Remember the good times you had.
                              Our 35th anniversary was on July 23rd. We shared it in ICU.

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                                #30
                                Tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary of the death of my dad. Next Tuesday will mark the one year anniversary of the passing of my youngest brother. Early on I cried like a baby. Time seems to be softening the hurt. But I’d be lying if i didn’t admit that some days are much tougher than others. I guess we just have to march on through the fog. Trust in God and His plan.

                                I know this isn’t the same as losing a spouse. I have no idea how to deal with that. My mom passed 13 years before my dad. He was never the same. I hope you find your way.
                                Last edited by mikemorvan; 09-29-2022, 12:49 PM.

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