When spanking doesn’t work...

[jmeghunts]

As a Dad of 4 kids and a wife that stays home, I agree with this.

Worked for us too.

[rfroese]

My wife and I have fostered 7 kids and now adopted 3. We have had kids that came from absolutely no discipline to some who had been in a stable home for a while.


The number 1 factor in discipline is consistency and doing what you say you will do. Threats are a parents worst enemy. Make rules and hold to them regardless of where you are or what they do. Most of the time kids who don’t behave are kids whose parents aren’t consistent. They make threats and then let them get away with it because it’s easier to let it go than deal with the frustration of discipline. Often times parents don’t even realize it. We have 3 adopted kids who were a sibling group. We have had them for two and a half years now. I also have 6 nieces and nephews. Both of my brothers have 3 kids a piece. They are always asking my wife and I how we can get our kids to behave so well. I tell them the exact same thing.

[muddydog]

Sounds like the terrible 2's still going on. If spanking ain't working, take away privileges like TV and send her to bed early.

[Death from Above]

Corporal punishment is not violence...good grief.

For brother playa...your a good dad, the fact that you are so involved in the kids shows that. Keep it up!

Praying for you, mom and the kiddos

[No-Tox]

Looking for some parental advice here. There are often times comments about unruly children about how that parent needs to take that child for a good whoopin’ and i firmly believe in that strategy too, but i am at my end with my 3yr old daughter. Her behavior at school is awful. She is regularly the worst behaved kid in her daycare class. Over the past 2 weeks my wife and i have both taken time out of our work schedule to go to her daycare and administer spankings at school. One day last week i went 3 times in one day, giving a total of 9 swats. Does not seem to make a difference. We have tried incentives such as treats at the end of the day. The one day she had stellar behavior my wife gave her immense praise as did I and the school staff and my wife took her for ice cream. The next day she had her worst day ever, running from teachers and even kicking one.
I know if channeled her strong will can lead to superb success later in life. But if we continue to leave this un-checked I’m afraid for her future.

Any other advice or tips? My other 2 went through similar periods but they shaped up quick like and in a hurry when dad showed up to make their behind’s sting. This one seems to have a double dose of her Mama and Daddy’s hardheadedness.

I didn't read through all the posts but wanted to let you know that at 3 years of age, my son got kicked out of 3 different daycares. Spankings did absolutely no good, nor taking things away. We started going to counseling and therapy with him to learn what makes him tick. He ended up being diagnosed ADHD, Sensory Processing and Asperger's. The diagnoses doesn't define him or give him an excuse to misbehave, but what it did was it let us know as parents how to deal with him. He is now 18 and still has struggles but he has come along ways.
So my suggestion would be to look into some professional help that can help guide you with your daughter.

[BrandonA]

Have you scared the ever living bejejus out of her? She may be to young for it but at some point you need to scare the discipline inside of them. I’m not talking about being abusive but go a little bat **** crazy and break some of their **** to get your point across. I’ve thrown Riley’s phone out the window going 80 and told her she can get a new when she works it off. The whole taking things away and giving them back only works a couple times. They watch you destroy it and then make them earn it back makes an impact. Yeah your out but it’s worth it

[JHT]

The more kids you have you increase the odds of not having the perfect child in your eyes. Especially when the siblings have fallen in line quick.

At three years old this just might be a phase. I think your going through what most have. There's lots of good advice here & good luck trying to figure out what's best for your family.

This will pass and there will be more to come but your addressing it now rather than years down he road. This is better than most parents these days.

[locolobo]

We have 3 y.o. twin grandsons. They are he77 on wheels @ our house with bookshelves they can access, Mom's pots & pans cabinets, computer desk, etc. It was starting to get tough trying to keep them in line. They have not been defiant except for an occasional NO! when ask to do something. I have a paint stirrer for 5 gallon buckets from Lowes. Another trick is a LOUD whistle which gets their attention quick, as does a sharp slap with the "spankin stick". Enough to sting but I don't go to town on 'em Just get their attention so they will listen. Then, when I have their attention, I will tell them why they shouldn't do what they were fixin to do.
Different people use different tactics. Mrs. Lobo puts 'em in the corner and preaches to 'em for a while. Seems to work for a while. Takes too much time for my taste.
They are just @ the age when they are learning right from wrong and we try to help them along in the learning curve. Be firm, be diligent!

[Milkfisher]

Water boarding?

[Mauler]

There were and are times my kid would act like a lunatic

We started paying very close attention to the shows he was watching and behavior he was emulating

Food he was eating and sugar intake.

Daily routine and amount of sleep he was getting

Talk to him routinely like he is grown. Currently 6

Ask him why he is doing things; where he is learning them.

Is someone bothering or harassing or bullying him

The discipline and infractions need to be close enough together that they can relate them

Don’t lose your cool

We do a mix of spanking; time out; taking things away, we always discuss the why.

It’s been a rough three months because we are in the middle of a relocation and just last night as we were walking the new house he started crying and said he wants to go back. I picked him up and hugged him and told him why we had To move, that I was sad also but that we would make the most of whatever comes our way.

Good luck. I hope someone on here is able to share something that helps.

[rvd]

You guys are so wrong on this spanking crap. My daughter is an attorney and my son is a operations mgr. for a beverage co. Both make great money, and both have great lives. Neither one was EVER spanked, instead, we took things away from them. Look how they turned out. Violence isn’t and never will be the answer.

Wow you have parenting completely figured out, congrats. Title of your book should read “we took things away and made them great”

Reality is what you did worked for your compliant kids. I’ve dealt with thousands of kids and what you did does work for some, you got lucky (so did I) but it doesn’t apply to all and you thinking it does is comical.

[COPPERHEAD]

Pick her up and hug her.

She must not want to be at school.

Maybe she wants mommy and daddy time.

too young to understand the cruel world.

X2

[Throwin Darts]

You guys are so wrong on this spanking crap. My daughter is an attorney and my son is a operations mgr. for a beverage co. Both make great money, and both have great lives. Neither one was EVER spanked, instead, we took things away from them. Look how they turned out. Violence isn’t and never will be the answer.

I make great money and have a great life and I got my azz whipped. So there’s that.


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[Kevin]

My son responds well to disappointment so I am pretty luck I guess. He’s also super food motivated so if I tell him to clean up his room or he doesn’t get a banana, he’ll clean it up fast. Sounds like you have a really strong willed kid. I’m afraid my daughter is going to be the same. I would get some Professional advice from a child behavioral expert. After you hear it, you can use it or tell them to shove it. Lol.

[txheartshot]

I make great money and have a great life and I got my azz whipped. So there’s that.


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Same here...and I spank my kids when they need it. For 4 & 2 years old, they’re pretty well behaved, have excellent manners, and are very loving & affectionate kids. Far from perfect, but we try and steer their strong wills, and not break them.


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