Old guy sayings

[76aggie]

That gal is uglier than a sack full of *****holes.

She is so tall she could stand up and ***** in the back of a dumptruck.

[CEO]

She's got a hind end like a duroc pig.

[Froggy]

She's uglier than a mud fence daubed in cow s***.

[ruger41]

Finer than frog hair
That higher than Giraffe P@#$y
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!

[2B4Him]

Anytime someone did something a bit on the clever side, my granddad would say "it don't take him long to look at a hot horseshoe."

[Sharecropper]

Once bitten, twice shy . .

[breederbuck33]

When someone was precise with something. "He could circumcise a knat with that thing"

References I hear at work from old oilfield guys.
"Busier than a cat covering ****"
"Bowed up like a cut worm"
"I'm bowed up like a coondog passin a peach seed"

[deerwatcher51]

This one is attributed to Lyndon Johnson

"We will double cross that bridge when we come to it"

[220swift]

An old friend of my Dad's said this to me once years ago when I was making fun of his age:

Son, when you get to be my age:
1. Never hold a pi$$
2. Never trust a fart
3. Never waste a hard on, even if you are by yourself....

Another I have heard when something is too expensive is "that is higher than a cat's back"

[Palehorse]

When the snake falls in love with the spaghetti, it's time to buy a new hat.

[SaltwaterSlick]

we live so far back in the sticks, we use owls for chickens and break daylight every mornin' with a pine knot...

[sotx]

Yall have pretty much covered it. The only one I didn't see was
"Don't be a stander" That's what you tell the dumb muther fu$%er who is just standing there and not helping like he should.

[Dushon]

This is my new favorite thread


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[CEO]

Treat em like dirt, they'll stick to you like mud

[Mudslinger]

She is so ugly she classifies as an "Oklahoma Double Bagger.