Originally posted by Preacher Man
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Has your wife fallen back in love with you?
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Originally posted by jerp View PostBig compliments to both of you - lots of character being shown. For her, hanging in there hoping that change would eventually come and not giving up. For you, even though it took years, you’ve had one of those “moments of clarity” where you look at everything in a new light and become dedicated to make it right. That kind of introspection is not easy and a lesser man is not capable of doing it. Don’t beat yourself up about the past - do what you can day by day to grow and make amends.
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Originally posted by Turtlewax View PostFirst of all, I did not expect this much support this fast. You guys are something else. Thank you to all for the words of encouragement, they definitely mean a lot. I knew I couldn't have been the only one to ever be in this situation. It took a lot to reach out and open up.
I have talked with her and spent time with her since I posted this. She called me on her way home from work and i could hear a little more spark in her voice. It felt good to hear that. When she came home she initiated a hug and then a kiss which made me want to cry like a 5 year old. These are small positive steps that will build on each other day by day. I will take everyone I can get.
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Best of luck sir. My Best is advice is to constantly be aware of complacency. You can and will get it together right now. You are scared to death and that motivates change. But I’m cautioning you about a month from now or six months or a year when complacency sneaks up on ya and you don’t realize your falling back to your old ways. Have to fix the problems that caused you to spiral out of control. Not just the symptoms it caused such as being lazy and depressed all the time. You got this. Keep moving forward brother ... GB
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Originally posted by borocat View PostI would suggest both of you reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. This book changed my wife and I life.
This right here 1000%. 6 years into my marriage I had tried my best to destroy our marriage. Reading your post made me cringe as though I was reading about myself except I did cheat. This book and a lot of hard work by both of us helped to get us to 20 Oct 2020 which was our 25th anniversary. It can be salvaged if you are willing to change. And yes she can fall in love with you again.
READ THIS BOOK!
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Recognizing that you needed to change is a huge step in the right direction. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! When both of you put God first your marriage will flourish as neither one of you will be trying to put yourself first. Blending two people into one is a hard thing to do. Keep the spark alive and she will feed off of it as well. Before you know it the two of you will be best friends again!
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Originally posted by Turtlewax View PostFirst of all, I did not expect this much support this fast. You guys are something else. Thank you to all for the words of encouragement, they definitely mean a lot. I knew I couldn't have been the only one to ever be in this situation. It took a lot to reach out and open up.
I have talked with her and spent time with her since I posted this. She called me on her way home from work and i could hear a little more spark in her voice. It felt good to hear that. When she came home she initiated a hug and then a kiss which made me want to cry like a 5 year old. These are small positive steps that will build on each other day by day. I will take everyone I can get.
[emoji106][emoji106][emoji106]
Sure miss those days of being able to hunt a lease for a nominal cost that didn’t create greed and a feeling of despair if you didn’t kill something!
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Love Language 2000 percent. We are going on 15 years and have often gotten to a place that we have to remind each other we are not the same but we got married because we have common goals, and if you work knowing each other’s love language things get way better way quicker. That and remembering there are 3 in this marriage, her, me and Jesus in the middle. Also get a chance to watch Fireproof. Really good show about marriage, I won’t say good luck because marriage takes work. So put your boots on and get to work, you both deserve it. Will be praying for y’all.
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A good Therapist will help a ton if you are ready to change. No shame in counseling, I saw someone for almost a year in 2009 after having some anxiety issues. It opened so many doors and really helped me get in touch with myself. I am a MUCH better person as a result! Another piece of advice is exercise some, not necessarily pumping iron but go for a walk. 30 minutes a day will change your life. Kudos to you for admitting something is off and working to save your marriage. I’ve been married 10 years and can’t imagine a day without her by my side!
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There isn't a wife or husband on the planet that, at one point or another, didn't feel "in love" with their spouse. If you are focused on fixing yourself, rather than on your wife's flaws, then you are on the right path. Marriages that fail are the ones where at least one person is only focused on the other's flaw and how the other person needs fixing. Marriages that succeed are the ones where BOTH people do their best to be better spouses for the benefit of their spouse. Selflessness > selfishness.
Prayers sent for you and your wife, brother. It's definitely doable.
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