Serious question about hunting, kids, and marriage.

[droebuck]

Here is another situation to contemplate and is currently mine. My wife and I both enjoy hunting and do it almost every weekend of the season that we can. My daughter has no interest in shooting, hunting or fishing. She has been around it since birth and we thought it would just be a natural thing for her but as she gets older (fixing to turn 8) she has less interest in it every year. We have always tried to make it fun for her but we are finding harder this season than it has been before. She likes to go to the lease but it's not about the hunting it's all about the other things we do there that she likes (the hiking at a nearby SP, the campfires, the swimming hole in the summer). We have really wanted her to take more of an interest but it doesn't seem to be happening.

[fbchunter]

I’m 34 been married for 9 years, have a 7 year old son and almost 4 year old daughter. I lived for hunting growing up and until I got married. Got married and still hunted a ton. After we had kids I definitely slowed down. For me, I realized I didn’t want my life to be focused on hunting at the expense of anything else. I started focusing on a better relationship with God and tried to do what I felt he wanted me to. So I decided my wife and young child were first. I still hunted often but didn’t live for it like I did before. Now that my son is 7, we started hunting more again. He shot a doe last year at 6, and a doe, hog, and nice deer this year at 7 years old. But still, I’m just not going to live my life to hunt anymore. God first, then family for me and I don’t feel like he wants me to live For hunting anymore. My son plays baseball also, so that cuts into it as well. But, we still hunt together, and he loves baseball a little more than hunting. I wouldn’t miss his ball games to hunt for anything. No judging anyone else just explaining where I am at

[TX_Hoghunter]

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 33 years. We have 3 girls. All of them hunt. For my 10 wedding anniversary I was hanging on the side of a tree in a swamp in Mississippi. What can I say they were rutting at the time. I think people make time for the things that they find important. Way to many parents are constantly putting their kids in some structured program where they never have a time to live.

-john

[BrianL]

I no longer have a wife, and my son is grown, so not sure what my excuse is for not hunting as much....

On a side note, I have been dating a lady with 3 daughters. Between select sports like soccer, track, basketball, and volleyball she rarely has a weekend free of some kind of sporting activity. I guess I can understand it. Kids have so much more to do sports wise than when I was a kid, or even when I was raising my son.

[SharpStix]

I'm 39 with three kids (10, 4, and 2) and hunt about 10% of what I'd like to. Wife didn't come from a hunting/fishing family so she's clueless about what is a "normal" amount of time to spend in the field. On top of that I used to live 30 minutes away from my hunting spot so it was much easier for me to go hunt in the morning and evening and still be around during the day, I'm 2.5 hours from my spot now that's not possible. To sum it up, if it were just me then I'd probably be out every weekend from opener to closer but having a wife and children cuts down on me time exponentially. FWIW I look forward to the kids coming with me, the two little ones just aren't there yet.

[sierracharlie338]

Started dating my wife at 17. Now I fall into the latter part of the age range that the OP posted. I told my wife (then girlfriend) when we started dating that I wasn’t gonna quit hunting or fishing and as long as she understood that then we would be good. Now almost 20 years later that still holds true. My daughter (6) just got to go on her first hunt and loved every minute of it. My wife also has been on hunts with me and enjoys it. She’s not to the point that she will be going on her own though. The drive to pursue the passion has never faded for me so I think the guys that “find excuses” don’t have as deep of a passion as some of us and don’t want to admit that to their buddies. It’s easier to make excuses.


Sierracharlie out…

[Bowhuntamistad]

The dynamic sets the tone...if you are one of those dads that just has to see their kids on a field playing sports you are crap out of luck. We have friends in sports.....they have no life. If they aren’t working they are at a weekday practice or weekend game/tournament. If you live by the “happy wife, happy life” mentality and she’s not a hunter, you’re setting yourself up for failure. If your wife/kids don’t hunt, you’re setting yourself up for failure .

Our kids spent all of August, September, and October scouting, hiking, camping, and hunting antelope and bighorn sheep with us(my wife’s tags). We haven’t pushed and they like it, they set the limits and we watched lots of sheep or antelope walk away my wife or I could have otherwise gotten on. Lots of hotel/cabin time too. I’ve seen dads push hunting too hard on their kids and the kids losing the desire to spend time outdoors.

Maybe I’m just lucky as hell. Who knows, but I agree with lots of the folks above. A lot of it is excuses and thinking things have to be a certain way once you’re married and have kids.

[Dale Moser]

I’m 39, was married for 10yrs. I do not have any kids by choice. I’ve been very much into bodybuilding/fitness since I was 20. My ex-wife was the very same way. Neither of us wanted to give up any part of our lives to make the sacrifices that a child requires.

Those who have made changes due to our kids, may consider that a copout from having kids, just as some use kids as a copout for not hunting/fishing as much as they used to.

Don't take this the wrong way, because it's not meant to be confrontational at all. But bodybuilding seems like a complete and total waste of effing time to most of us, when you could have been doing dad stuff with kids....watching them play ball, hunting, fishing, and just be little humans. But that's your priority and there isn't a thing in the world wrong with it.

Prioritizing your spare time is the most natural thing in the world...well 2nd most, a woman telling a man when he can go hunting is another matter entirely.

I told my wife when we were dating that this is how it's going to be from now on, "if you don't like it, I'll go to someone else's house on Sunday when I get back in town"...many before her took me up on that offer. Her dad has hunted all his life, so she gets it. She likes hunting too now, just not as often as I do. I love having my son with me, and I appreciate going alone. All about that balance. "Everything in moderation, including moderation!"

[AntlerCollector]

Dang your bow was that loud?

I didn't take a newborn bow hunting.

Bow hunted when the wife kept the kids.

[KNP16]

I'm 29 and have a 3 kids, 3 and under. I do not hunt as much as I used to and that's fine. This year I have started taking my 3 (almost 4) year old and he really enjoys it and the others will be brought along as they get older. I could probably go more if I pushed the issue, but to be honest I would rather stay home, help my wife who also works full time and spend time with my kids. The way I see it, I will never look back and say I wish I would have spent more time in the deer stand, where I would probably say I wish I would spent more time with my family. I still get out when I can and want to, its just not my priority right now.

[DRT]

Unfortunately my son's allergy situation made it hard for him to be outdoors as a kid. He hunted some but by weekends endbhe would be sick.
But early on my wife knew I live in the woods or on the water when not working.
I do think more men are considerate of the family and split the time with them better.
I'd like to call PW but honestly I think it's just how society has evolved. I also know that many jobs keep you busy 60 hours a week and if you have kids in activities and . . .
Well you get the picture. I think there is a lot of grey area.

Gary

[HighwayHunter]

I don’t have kids but it’s definitely been difficult explains to my soon to be wife that the best/only good time to hunt for me is late October to mid December. In that time frame I don’t expect to be bothered about how much time I spend in the field. First year was terrible (almost called it) second year was a little better and this year was good. As of 12/1 Ive spent 24 days in the woods and only heard a “cant wait for hunting season to be over” once. She comes from a family of non hunters so they don’t really get it either. However things are looking up and she is understanding I need this time for myself and the rest of the year she can have. For context I’m 26 and she’s 25. Hopefully whenever we decide to have kids she doesn’t try to flip this position, because I’m not opposed to hauling my little ones 25’ up a tree with me!


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[SharpStix]

Seems like marrying a wife from a non-hunting family is more detrimental to time in the field than anything

[Dale Moser]

Hopefully whenever we decide to have kids she doesn’t try to flip this position, because I’m not opposed to hauling my little ones 25’ up a tree with me!


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HOPE....is not a strategy, you need to agree on these things ahead of time...and she will. And it won't matter what you are opposed to.

[glen]

I have been married for a while and can say this. I have no idea on the kids age range or interests. If you have a kid that is involved in athletics in the 12-17 year old age range it can be very challenging. I spent about 100 days a year on the water fishing until my kids were pre teen years. Over the last 6 years I maybe get 15 days at best. It is time and money that both got strapped. Since June I have been to 7 states and probably 15 town/cities in Texas for sports. It has been fun and would not change it for anything but will be ready to get some fishing time back again soon. I guess it just depends how committed a man is to his family and children.