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Old guy sayings

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    You have time to sleep when you're dead

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      After tasting some really hot peppers, strong coffee, or liquor: "That will put lead in your pencil".

      Referring to deep mud: "That will suck you down quicker than a Cajun on a crawdad".

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        Every time he bent a nail hammering. "Dam Japanese nails"

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          If you told her to haul ***** she'd have to make 2 trips.

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            Originally posted by Native Texan View Post
            After tasting some really hot peppers, strong coffee, or liquor: "That will put lead in your pencil".

            Referring to deep mud: "That will suck you down quicker than a Cajun on a crawdad".
            Yea n when I’d say that eatin raw oysters would put lead in ur pencil, I’d always get, “That’s OK long as you got somebody to write to.”

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              from my father in law, god rest his soul
              "you don't have to look too far to find somebody worse off than you"
              when company overstayed their welcome " hun we better go to bed these people probably need to get home"
              and my favorite after a meal " good food and good friends we're rich and don't know it"

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                When replying with a positive "yes",

                Is a pig's a** pork? Except when he is sitting on it and then it's pressed ham.

                Its raining so hard it looks like a cow pi**ing on a flat rock.

                You don't know sh** from shinola.

                You can tell when he is lying. His lips are moving.

                Use your head for something besides a hat rack.

                If he had a brain he would probably take it out and play with it.

                He is so tight you could shove a piece of coat up his rear and in a hour you would have a diamond.

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                  When the answer is obviously "YES"..

                  Is fat meat greasy?

                  Does a bear ****in the woods?

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                    Close enough for government work!

                    I'm gonna have to trade your grandma in for a newer model.

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                      Son, You workin harder than a one legged duck swimmin’ in a circle...

                      Son, You’re so lucky..you could reach in a barrel full of as*holes and pull out a p**sy


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                        "Two kinds of liars in this world. Guy that said he's never w***ked off and the other that said he quit."

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                          Something happening fast= "Like a duck on a June Bug"
                          Things that fit together= "Like two pigs in a poke"
                          Don't need explaining= " You could F---up a crowbar"
                          Wore out/used up= "Rode hard and put up wet"
                          Go ahead and do it= "Let it rip tater chip"

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                            Give you a hammer and you could tear up an anvil.

                            Give you a book and all you do is eat the cover!

                            You are so dumb if you fell in a barrel of *******, you would still come out a virgin!

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                              when it came to work.. " push, pull or get out of the way, but do something!"

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                                Some of the ones I grew up with ...
                                I will give you something to cry about
                                She looks like she got hit in the ***** with a bag of nickles
                                Walk it off...or drink water and walk and rub some sand in it.

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