any good disfunctional family christmas stories

[Bowdark]

My sister used to say we put the 'fun' in dysfunctional. After reading the other posts, she couldn't be more wrong.

My mom and her sister were twins. Mom was a free spirit, aunt was a stick in the mud. Mom would make top shelf margaritas (they were spectacular), aunt would sip cheap wine out of a coffee cup and warn us about having too much fun. Aunt was the one who would give cheap ill-fitting sweaters as gifts.

One year my Uncle Jack (Dad's bro) ate too much and puked in the middle of the gift circle, almost started a chain reaction!

Another year, it was a big extended family deal. BIL's father liked to make fruit/rum cakes. One would get a buzz from eating it (sluiced with Bacardi). Mom's brother's staunch teetoller family could not stop eating it, said it was the best ever... we never told them, just enjoyed watching them. Mom laughed about that for the rest of her life.

Little things like that. No law called, no gun play/violence.

That's about all I have, Merry Christmas!

[txpitdog]

My SIL told my mom that going to church for Christmas Eve service was a waste of time and that if my mom wanted to see her grandsons she would have to skip it. It made my mom cry. I have not spoken a word to that lazy, entitled woman since, and the awkwardness I know she feels when I’m around (like every single birthday and holiday) is her reward for getting what she wanted for Christmas.


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[TxAg]

I need to go back and re-read these.

[Radar]

I have seen things

[RascalArms]

Forgot how great this thread was!!

[Mexico]

Pfft.... just get on TBH if you want to see a little dysfunction, doesn't take the Holidays

[sahunter]

tagged

[Hank Madson]

i was on tbh one year, and its considered a family of sorts... And there was guys telling another guy how much of a man he wasn't for doing something in a situation he was telling a story about on tbh and how they would have handled it differently and there was insinuations of internet toughguyitis, and more lack of brains talk then there were pm's , hugs, and new year happiness...
Oh and some drunk guy typing is everyones new bestie.

bwaahahahahahaha!

[Jon B]

Got called to my mom's house one Christmas Night. My brother who was a raging alcoholic and has never grown up was beating the crap out of my old man. I drove the ten minutes from my house to theirs and when I arrived my brother had my dad by the collar and jacked up against the wall. I tackled him and the brawl started. After the first tussle he grabbed my dad's shot gun and sounds like he was going to shoot me. I snatched it away from him and used the stock to adjust his attitude. Left him laying in the floor and walked outside. SOB attacked me with a pocket knife. Now imagine he is super drunk and almost moving in slow motion as he does this. I punched him and he fell down. I stepped on his hand until he dropped his knife. Cops showed up and we told them that he was drunk and acting a fool. We left out the weapons part because he is already a convicted felon. They told him he had two choices one was jail and the other was going to a hotel for the night. My mother tried to take him to the hotel and while being followed by the cops he tried to get out of the moving car. They hooked him up and he spent the night in the tank.

I love the guy but when he drank it was always something. Lives for the drama and bull$#!+. I guess this is just the white trash lifestyle. I grew up in it. My wife had never seen anything like it and still gets anxiety over holidays with my family.

[rockyraider]

Love these stories, Merry Christmas to all.

[BigL]

Going to have to read these again.

[JLivi1224]

Many yeas ago
My parents house. My brother and I have the exact same guns Sig P220. I had done some trigger work and my brother wanted me to work on his. So we cover the pool table with a sheet and take his gun apart and work on it for about an hour. Mom calls for us to come eat. We all go eat and my brother goes and puts his gun back together except for the washer in the grip. He has a habit of dropping on in the pipe closing the action and then seating the magazine. Well he does this except the magazine does not go in because the washer is not in the gun. We look for the washer for about an hour and then give up. He then asks me if I felt his trigger. I pick it up-aim at a dot on the side of the pool table and sqeeze of the round in the chamber. round goes through the pool table down into the carpet goes under a wall and comes up out of the carpet in another room and striking my Mom in the collar bone and then bounced up and landed on my wife's head burning the hair and her scalp.
Well the bullet was a hydro-shock and my Mom's collar bone is bleeding from the exposed point and we are thinking it may have fractured her collarbone. We load up and goto the hospital to have X-rays and my brother being an EMT calls ahead and explains what happened. Return from hospital only to have HPD crime scene all over the house. My Mom starts making plates for the Detectives that are talking to my bother and I. Get done talking to us and then state they are headed to the hospital to interview the gunshot victim. My Mom pipes up and says that she is right here. Detectives leave and a Parol Officer stays around while Crime Scene gets everything. Patrol Officer stays around for a few hours and sits and eats evening meal with family and we even had him say the prayer for the meal. My Mom fixes him a plate of cookies and pie and fixes him a large glass of milk to take with him. Patrol Officer takes plate but refuses milk saying he didn't want to take her container. About 15 minutes later our doorbell rings and it is the Patrol Officer saying everything is closed and he will be happy with a glass of milk. We all laughed and he came in and played cards and spent another hour or two at the house. He stopped by my parents house every Christmas after that until he retired

So I guess we qualify- I shot my Mom and wife on Christmas.

First time seeing this thread. That’s a doozie Glen!

[Junkers88]

Some of these are just epic.

[Death from Above]

JHT needs to help the Christmas spirit with more tales.

[BitBackShot]

My sister is a drug addict.

The first time I brought my (now) wife to meet my parents, it was Christmas and she drove over from Tennessee (parents in NC). The first night we’re there my sister has some sort of animosity towards Beth and just grills her to the point that it’s so uncomfortable my dad steps in and tells my sister to take a walk. I had already been called off from telling my sister to F off by my wife because she wanted my sister to like her.

Anyhow, after dinner and dessert, my sister starts going off about how absurd it is my parents are making her stay at a hotel so Beth and I will sleep in separate rooms and starts suggesting things in front of the whole family to Beth. “You’re obviously already sleeping with him. Who are you trying to kid?”

My parents finally asked her to leave and she stomped around the house in a storm. We all sat in the dining room until she was gone. We found out shortly that she had stolen a. my wife’s heirloom jewelry, b. My brother’s pain pills as he had just had nasal surgery, and c. My mom’s purse and my dad’s wallet.

Great first impression for my wife. We’ve been together 12 years, so it worked out. Hilariously, my sister tried to return her jewelry to make amends a couple years later but mailed my wife someone wlse’s Jewelry. She robbed a lot of people.