any good disfunctional family christmas stories

[4R Daddy]

Anybody get a ladder for Christmas? Lol

Nope, lol. The ladder issue has been dropped. Their attention has been diverted to new drama. They were in a fender bender on Xmas day. It seems a lady slammed on her brakes 2 cars in front of them and they hit the car between the two. So basically, the car in front of them rear ended someone and they proceeded to hit that car, if that makes sense. The ol 3 car pile up. Good news is they are expecting a large settlement since somehow they've concluded that it was the other drivers fault that they were following to close.[emoji3]

[Chew]

Good news is they are expecting a large settlement since somehow they've concluded that it was the other drivers fault that they were following to close.[emoji3]

New ladders, chain wallets, dil××××, and cowboys jerseys for everybody!

[4R Daddy]

New ladders, chain wallets, dil××××, and cowboys jerseys for everybody!

And "D" caps with the bill on the back

[junkmanhunter]

New ladders, chain wallets, dil××××, and cowboys jerseys for everybody!

Haha. Classic post..

[Chew]

. I wasn't sure where he lived, but I see a lot of she males in Houston with WE DEM BOYZ on their Tacoma back glass. Figured it was a safe bet.

[Black_foot_]

nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight i want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or i'll seriously hurt him. Lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.


I'm 5'-4" and would have been on him like white on rice! That would have been the last time he would have even thought about touching my wife.

yep!

[jshouse]

fun

[4R Daddy]

. I wasn't sure where he lived, but I see a lot of she males in Houston with WE DEM BOYZ on their Tacoma back glass. Figured it was a safe bet.

Nah man, you forgot, shim drives a Dodge Avenger!!!!!

We live in DFW, but it's originally from Celina so I have officially declared the following: Ft Worth is where the west begins but Celina is the start of ETX. she's really confused every time I look at her and smh mumbling "@&$! East Texas". She doesn't get it.

[catslayer]

First Christmas after I married my wife. All of my in-laws are pretty great, other than my wife's brother. A real "piece of work", he would spend all his money on his vehicles, then refuse to get anything for his parents or sister. The only reason he got something for his mother, was (and I quote) "Shut [her] the f*** up" (spoken to her face).

Wife and I had just found out that parenthood for us would be a certified miracle, so all the family talk at dinner Christmas Eve, about "when's the kids coming?" was really wearing thin on my wife. Her brother, posts a message on Facebook(while we're at the dinner table, knowing the entire situation) about how happy he is for his sister and her new family, and that he was looking forward to our having kids. And he tags her on facebook, so everyone we know on both sides of the family is getting this notification about it. Both of our phones start blowing up with people saying "OMG CONGRATULATIONS!", to which we have to explain the situation.

My wife at this point is crying, really upset, which leads him to make more offhand comments about how stupid she is. I'm a pretty level headed guy, but admittedly I get a little hot tempered when someone hurts my wife. I start closing distance, when their grandmother(who's 75+ y/o, about 4'10", and maybe a 100 lbs soaking wet) steps in front of me, and quite loudly says(prompting me by my full name), "It's Christmas Eve, so you'll have to just turn the other cheek... (and turns over her shoulder) even if he is being complete ***hole..." This from one of the sweetest little old ladies I'd ever met.

Fast forward nine months, we hadn't spoken to him since that 'event'(a big deal since he and my wife up till we got married, would talk multiple times a day...). We run into him at their parent's place. Apparently he had unplugged a freezer that I'd been keeping in their garage, full of groceries and venison(which all spoiled). She confronts him, and that is responded to with him punching her. I'm not sure how it got to that point. I just hear her from inside the house, scream out "stop, get off of me". I look out to see him man-handling her, throw her face first into the side of his truck(hard enough to for me to hear the "thunk" from inside the house), and punch her in the head. While yelling obscenities about her. I step outside already mad, and yell at him 3 times to get off her, his response was laugh, and hit her again. The 4th time i ordered him to let go, it was backed up with my pistol being drawn. Now that I had his attention, and he was threatening me, the pistol went back in the holster, and placed on the hood of the car.

Yet, I'm the one everyone resents, and no one will bother to talk to me about it.

*shrugs*

... I don't know if I coulda shot him... but I'd have found a tire iron....Pistol whipped him or something... your a bigger man than me, he wouldn't be allowed on property with me or my wife any more... If that means not seeing mom screw it.

[junkmanhunter]

Nah man, you forgot, shim drives a Dodge Avenger!!!!!

We live in DFW, but it's originally from Celina so I have officially declared the following: Ft Worth is where the west begins but Celina is the start of ETX. she's really confused every time I look at her and smh mumbling "@&$! East Texas". She doesn't get it.

Haha. You sir have a good sense of humor

[muddydog]

To start off my extended family get together usually ends with something, but several years ago my wife's cousins show up from Houston. They need up in my front yard swapping punches like men! They are sisters BTW and one is married to a cop around Houston. He steps in to help his wife and throws the sister on her face. She digs her fingernails in his face. He then hauled off and punched the crap out of her while she is on her back with his knee in her throat. Neighbor called the cops and they break it up. I had to go apologize to all my neighbors. Looked like a scene from cops! I just grinned at my wife and asked, uh who has the crazy family now. I politely asked them to leave and not come back...they all had to ride home together! Lol

[woodsman]

Our Christmas weekend concluded with my FIL calling the law on his meth-head son for trying to break into his prostitute wife's apartment with a crowbar.

This was a couple states away, but I'm bursting with pride nonetheless.

[TXBuck74]

I was working patrol one christmas. The grandmother at this house had died in her sleep. They covered her with a sheet because they didn't want to call anybody and interrupt the party.

A grandson and grandaughter began arguing over who was getting grandma's refrigerator. Now remember....grandmother is in rigor mortis in the next room. Granddaughter stabs grandson as he is cleaning out the fridge to load it in his truck. She lunged him and he almost died.

I arrested granddaughter after threatening to shoot her and then had to call for a body car and ME investigator for grandma.

Merry Crimmus mofos!

LMAO!!! Best one I've read thus far!

[sharkhunter]

All my drug head in-laws and step in-laws have either died, moved on or are in such bad shape it doesn't matter anymore. I also got rid of my crazy girlfriend that's ruined every holiday, birthday or special event in the last three years. My Christmas was actually very nice this year. Life is good my friends !!

[drwilliams]

[QUOTE=Davoh;10909643]^^^^^^^^ Wise words spoken there....



Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight I want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or I'll seriously hurt him. lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended

What railroad does he work for and out of where?