Worthless as tits on a boar hog
Slower than a Seven year itch
She so ugly she would make a train take a dirt road
Can’t carry a tune in a bucket
Boy howdy son you can tear up a steel ball with a rubber hammer.
From my granddady:
I know she can't help being ugly, but she coulda stayed at home!
He's wound tighter than an 8 day clock!
That poor baby is so ugly they gonna have to tie a bone around his neck to get the dog to play with him!
This one is what he always said when all the grandkids were leaving after spending the weekend with him. "Sure going to be lonesome around here when y'all are gone, but it's going to be a good lonesome"!
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