UGGGG Divorce

[Redfeathers]

Lawyer up yesterday!!

[SmTx]

Nice fairytale but get a lawyer and hurry up

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

Take a guess at his profession

[miket]

Nice fairytale but get a lawyer and hurry up

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

Its certainly possible, done it twice, I hired a lawyers and they didnt fight it. I got primary custody of the kids both times.

I do realize Im a special case due to my history/personality ( they both knew I would never take advantage, just wanted to be fair and move on )

[DeerMagnet]

Was married 19 years….Tried the No lawyer deal at first. We agreed on splitting the assets, but couldnt agree on debts, cuz I found out she had charged up over $30,000 in credit cards. I wanted to know what the purchases were and she just said it was things for kids. Didn’t believe her cuz I bought everything. Ended up having to get attorney to file disclosure orders. She ended up relenting and took all her debts. I kept my retirement and gave her the house. It sucked but I think I came out ahead. Attorney was $10k.

[bsmizzy07]

Been there done that.

Hire a lawyer before she does. She is going to have everyone on her side telling her to get a lawyer. Once she does that, she will file for custody, child support, alimony, etc...
And you will have to fight to get everything back. Whoever files first wins.

This. And ask around - not all lawyers are good, or SMART. If shes amicable, it can go smoothly - but get anything an everything with custody in writing and signed by the judge. Make you the Custodial parent, and make sure its written that way.

Also, I havent been thru divorce (and never will hopefully) but all your possessions might not be a bad idea to "sell" them to a close friend(s) or relative with a bill of sale, then "buy" them back once things are finalized. Perhaps ask a lawyer how this would work - but I would think you might want to do this with any cash or investments you have as well - cash them out and move into something you can "sell" and then "buy" back later on - if they were truly all YOUR things paid for by you and in no part subsidized or paid for by your soon to be ex. Sounds petty, but her lawyers (if she gets one - id bet she does) will go after anything and everything that is "communal" property.

My dad had half his 401k go away on top of alimony and child support when my parents got divorced, and drained our college savings paying for lawyers and court to fight for 50/50 custody. I didnt understand it all as a kid but I do later in life now - and my parents did a fine job of hiding all this drama from us kids, which I would highly recommend as well - no matter what kind of person she is to you or others shes still his mother, and a boy will always need his mom no matter how old.

Good luck, hopefully things all work out for the best.

[Lost10mm]

Don't just get a lawyer - get a female lawyer. One who has some attitude. If you can't find one you like, then find an older lawyer who's been in the system a LONG time (30 years minimum) and has seen a thing or two.

My ex filed first but was such a pain that her first lawyer quit her. Her second lawyer was only 3 or 4 years in practice. My lawyer with 43 years in practice ate them both for lunch and I came out on top.

I had a "professional" male represent me from one of the areas largest law firms once and he just let them walk all over him, so don't always let the big name fool you. That divorce lawyer I used was working out of a small office in the court house square. He was once a state rep. Real good guy.

[RR 314]

Nice fairytale but get a lawyer and hurry up

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

You obviously know more than I do. Try this on for size. He retains a lawyer then she retains a lawyer. Unnecessary filings, discovery, temporary orders, etc take place. Both parties get ****** at something and both lawyers and parties go Josey Wales and live by the feud. Two years later finally get a divorce decree. She is so ****** she keeps taking him back for modification of order. If they can work it out without all the nonsense I will take that fairytale.

[Txhunter3000]

Don't just get a lawyer - get a female lawyer. One who has some attitude. If you can't find one you like, then find an older lawyer who's been in the system a LONG time (30 years minimum) and has seen a thing or two.

My ex filed first but was such a pain that her first lawyer quit her. Her second lawyer was only 3 or 4 years in practice. My lawyer with 43 years in practice ate them both for lunch and I came out on top.

I had a "professional" male represent me from one of the areas largest law firms once and he just let them walk all over him, so don't always let the big name fool you. That divorce lawyer I used was working out of a small office in the court house square. He was once a state rep. Real good guy.

That's crap. I followed that advice on my second divorce and it dang sure didn't pan out. Not sure which female came out on top but I was broke nonetheless.

[miket]

You obviously know more than I do. Try this on for size. He retains a lawyer then she retains a lawyer. Unnecessary filings, discovery, temporary orders, etc take place. Both parties get ****** at something and both lawyers and parties go Josey Wales and live by the feud. Two years later finally get a divorce decree. She is so ****** she keeps taking him back for modification of order. If they can work it out without all the nonsense I will take that fairytale.

Exactly, and guess who actually wins when this happens? Lawyers. In mine I told them both that if we fight the only one who will win is the lawyers. They knew I wont screw them, and they also knew if they tried to get aggressive I am the type that will burn it all down to keep from getting screwed.

I do understand, that this is rare and you will most likely need to get a lawyer and fight it out, and the lawyers will get another high end vacation or new beemer out of the deal, but it is what it is

[TA_Fab]

When my parents split each got a lawyer and they sat down and got it done very quickly with minimal fees. I was like 13 at the time they put me first and there was zero drama. Have a great relationship with both. Divorce doesn’t always have to end bad.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Duckologist]

You obviously know more than I do. Try this on for size. He retains a lawyer then she retains a lawyer. Unnecessary filings, discovery, temporary orders, etc take place. Both parties get ****** at something and both lawyers and parties go Josey Wales and live by the feud. Two years later finally get a divorce decree. She is so ****** she keeps taking him back for modification of order. If they can work it out without all the nonsense I will take that fairytale.

Hes dealing with a crazy substance abuser and he has a kid. Suit yourself OP and good luck.

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

[RR 314]

Hes dealing with a crazy substance abuser and he has a kid. Suit yourself OP and good luck.

Sent from my SM-G892A using Tapatalk

Indeed. Sometimes when people hit rock bottom and realize they are the main reason for the divorce, and are willing to admit their child will be better off with their other parent, they can be quite amenable to the terms proposed. May not work out this way, but likely better than immediately being adversarial if there is a perceived genuine chance of amicable resolution.

[mooney_ag]

No lawyer must mean great communication between you two during the process. It can be done. When I’m a situation such as this when one may be irrational or under the influence it’s a recipe for disaster. 1 lawyer or 2 lawyers don’t necessarily mean filings, discovery, etc. a lawyer is just as a contingency in case and can expedite the processes. If you go down the 1 lawyer road make sure he’s yours. The other party can wave their right to a lawyer and notification which could mean they don’t have to notify the second party of any of the filings or scheduled proceedings.

A lot can happen when the income streams start drying up and they’re certainly the time element which is 60 days minimum. My ex just wanted what was “due her”

[Spiderpig1776]

Dude get a lawyer right away and make sure they are experienced in these types of things. I find that women attorneys are better for this.

[freestylest22]

Thank you men for all the advice. She's still in the psych hospital now. I hate to be "the guy" that filed on his wife while she was getting help. But this is the 2nd time in 6 months. We've been trying to keep this together with very rough times over the last year. I believe she knows she can't/won't get full custody of our son. My step kids are on my side in this too. Thanks again for the info and prayers, definitely needed.

I've got a meeting with a female attorney on Thursday. We'll she what she knows.