One Liners?

[chopsknives]

Alright it's been a very Somber Day here and I've got metal dust or something in my eyes a few times today. Then I remembered Patton's speech about Memorial Day - that they would of wanted us to enjoy the day. My son Dylan sought to cheer me up!

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender if I show you something cool can I have a free drink? Sure! So he pulls out a 10" Pianist and a tiny piano playing Yankee Doodle! Bartender: WOW! Here's your drink! Then he says if I show you something cool can I have another? Heck yeah! So he pulls out a genie who says I'll grant you one wish! Bartender: I want a million bucks and POOF!! there's a million DUCKS in the bar! Bartender: I didn't ask for a million ducks?!?! Well I didn't ask for a 10" pianist either!!

[tvc184]

That’s about an 8 liner.

A one liner would be like…

The definition of pregnancy is something taken seriously that was poked in fun.

[Gumbo Man]

Or “ Hey your pretty funny. You should be on stage. There’s one leaving at midnight”.

[tvc184]

I got fired from the calendar factory because I took a day off.

[solocam_aggie]

Dung beetle walks into a bar and says “is this stool taken?”


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[RebeccaCreekKid]

What’s brown and sticky?



A stick.

[Das71198]

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

[tvc184]

On keeping secrets…

Don’t tell but if you tell, tell the one you tell not to tell.

[Randy Madden]

I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous…

[AntlerCollector]

My wife donates money to the homeless but gets mad when I donate to the topless.

[Gumbo Man]

My wife donates money to the homeless but gets mad when I donate to the topless.

Winner!!

[chopsknives]

Ha! These are great! I would have to say AntlerCollector is in first so far! LOL!

[chopsknives]

I woke up last night and I was driving!!

[SaltwaterSlick]

On trying to argue with our local libs....
It's hard to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person!

[Sackett]

If they can’t find you handsome, let em find you handy