One Liners?

[elgato]

Says easy
Does hard

[Bucknaked]

What a Shape, What a Figure- with two more legs you’d look like Trigger!

[freerhunter16]

You can marry more money in 5 minutes than you can make in a lifetime!

[Charlie80]

Can't drink all day if you don't start early in the morning.

[Tbuddyandroby]

Jose Wales' Fletcher to the Senator- "Don't p*ss down my back and tell me it's raining."

[alec73065]

My dad's favorite

10,000 comedians out of work and you try to be funny !

[SharpEnd]

That went over as well as a fart in a space suit.

[SaltwaterSlick]

That went over as well as a fart in a space suit.

I thought it was a t u r d in a punch bowl??

[chopsknives]

Your about as useful as a screen door on a submarine!

[SharpEnd]

Man, they're working me like a set of twins.

[tvc184]

That went over as well as a fart in a space suit.

George Carlin had one and one of his standup comic routine..

Two guys in an elevator and one guy farts, everybody knows who did it.

[chopsknives]

The hippie dippy weatherman with the hippy dippy weather...man! Loved me some Carlin!!

We're all gonna DIE!!......Eventually!

[Gumbo Man]

I’ve cut down on drinking. I’m using larger ice cubes.

[chopsknives]

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!

[captainsling]

My penis was once in the Guinness Book of World Records……..then the librarian asked me to remove it!