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-   -   May 15, 2010(Long Read) (https://discussions.texasbowhunter.com/forums/showthread.php?t=376178)

Graysonhogs 05-15-2013 06:09 PM

May 15, 2010(Long Read)
 
May 15,2010 is a day I will never forget. It's the day I realized that my life was in shambles and the only person I could blame was me. My drinking had become a horrible problem and consumed and defined who I was. What started out as drinking with buddies for fun in high school had manifested itself into basically a 20 year binge. I dealt with all my problems, marital, financial, and others by drinking. I always had nice cars, house, good job so I thought there wasn't a problem. Alcoholics were those bums on the street, I thought. Came to find out that couldn't be further from the truth.

It had come to the point that if there was any social event, get together, or function where there wasn't alcohol I didn't want to go. And if I "had" to go, I'd slam some before we went. If I wasn't working or asleep, I was drinking. No one knew the extent of the drinking, I guess because I didn't act drunk. I knew deep down I was an alcoholic, I just pushed it down with alcohol so I didn't have to face it(ironic,huh). I blamed everything on someone or something else, I neglected my fatherly and husbandly duties at times, because getting drunk took priority. In 2007 I got a DWI after I had a wreck, ran off the road and almost hit a 4' diameter tree at 70. That made me stop for about a week. Nearly dying, dwi, and the other troubles weren't enough to stop me. In hindsight that was absolutely insane, but at the time I didn't see it. This addiction will start to strain relationships, friendships, work performance, etc. But I kept blaming everyone else.Got tired of my dad staying on my butt. I'm surprised that some people will even talk to me now. But that person was not me, and they knew that.

May 14, 2010 was a normal day for then. Get off work, grab a 30, and start drinking, the same as I had done for many years. Night went as always, sitting in a lawn chair slamming beer and "thinking". Went to bed about 10. At 4:30 in the morning on May 15, 2010, I woke up, wide awake, with tears running down my face. I don't know why, but I knew at that moment that I had to change. It's almost like God was saying " I'm tired of being nice and trying to guide you on the right path, I'm about to slap you and wake you up". I got up, poured out all alcohol in the house, and then just sat and reflected on what my life had become. Later that morning I checked into rehab. I learned a lot about myself there. I got the counseling that I needed. Went to outpatient for 4 months. I truly think that if I hadn't gone or if I didn't have the family and friends I have, I might not be here, or if I was, it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

I'm only telling this because I know some people have the same issues and I'm here to say that it can be done. In hindsight, I wasn't living at all, I was bound by my addiction. I can honestly say that the last three years have been some of the best of my life. And if my story helps one person, it's worth telling. I promised myself I would try to help anyone who had similar problems if I could. It's very hard to admit a problem, it's probably the hardest step. That and losing people you thought were friends. Your true friends will be there. PERIOD. But if anyone ever needs advice or help, don't hesitate to ask. I thank God every day for my sobriety.. 3 years and counting.

DeadeyeDeb 05-15-2013 06:24 PM

Congrats to you on your 3 year anniversary. Praying many, many, many more for you to come!!!!!
I wish a few people I have known was able to do what you did...............they never will...........as they reside 6 ft under.

brianlg31 05-15-2013 06:26 PM

Congratulation. It takes a big man to tell that story.

Brian

AndyRealtree 05-15-2013 06:27 PM

Great read man. Congrats and well done on overcoming your addiction. As was stated in a previous thread, it takes a MAN to admit a problem and get the help he needs. You're testimony is bound to help someone else save their life. My dad has been sober over 20 years and he said the first 5 were the toughest on him. Keep your nose to the grindstone and keep goin down the path you've paved for yourself. Congrats again brother

BoWayne 05-15-2013 06:28 PM

Great testimony....

Graysonhogs 05-15-2013 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadeyeDeb (Post 7013543)
Congrats to you on your 3 year anniversary. Praying many, many, many more for you to come!!!!!
I wish a few people I have known was able to do what you did...............they never will...........as they reside 6 ft under.

I lost a friend a few years back to it, and it's hard when you see others going down the wrong path.

Pedernal 05-15-2013 06:31 PM

Congrats to you on a wonderful accomplishment... May The Lord bless you with the strength to remain on the right path. Thank you for sharing your story.

Lockpro 05-15-2013 06:35 PM

Congrats
 
;)b to you!

flashof1979 05-15-2013 06:40 PM

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trykon514 05-15-2013 07:02 PM

Congrats to you on your will power.

Todd-ty729 05-15-2013 07:59 PM

Good for you!:)

curtintex 05-15-2013 08:07 PM

Big man right there folks.;)b

Congrats to you on your new life. I know you'll make it all it should be.

W-L-F 05-15-2013 08:26 PM

wow your one hell of a man in my books---congrats on 3 years

hunt n fish 05-15-2013 08:30 PM

congrats good for you!

60 Deluxe 05-15-2013 08:42 PM

Did the same thing twenty years ago and haven't looked back.
Now figure out where you are going with your life and get with it. You have overcome one of the hardest challenges in life so we know what you are made of. Congrats on the three year anniversary. One of these days you'll probably forget to keep counting them.

Graysonhogs 05-15-2013 08:46 PM

I try not to forget at this point. Makes me shudder to think of where I'd be if I hadn't gotten help. Ive got plans and goals i put off for a lot of years. It's an
Absolutely feeling not to be tethered to my demons. Life is good

bubinga 05-15-2013 08:48 PM

I admire your strength and appreciate you sharing.

cablesplicer 05-15-2013 08:50 PM

congrats

TX_Kevin 05-15-2013 08:52 PM

I can't begin to say I understand, but I can wish you a lifetime of health and sobriety and offer congratulations on getting your life back. It's good to read that you're doing something with it. That's another point of congratulations!

BowGal 05-15-2013 08:55 PM

Congratulations and I commend you for being so brave to share your story.

Cajun Blake 05-15-2013 09:00 PM

Ain't it great to be high on life ;)

Congrats brother as I commend you for opening up and sharing with many strangers

I have no doubt that your testimony will affect someone on the GS and end up saving their life

Addicted to the bottle or pipe is a false hope that destroys many lives and families

I'm proud of you and others who admitted they had a problem and live by the First step

Graysonhogs 05-15-2013 09:04 PM

Thanks for the kind words. I'm not proud of what I became and I thought that if my journey touched just one person enough to get help then it's worth it. There were several times I heard a testimony and thought," that's me". My number one regret is my sons having to be around it. That still bothers me and probably always will. If there is a silver lining is that they see the drastic change from before to after.

bwssr 05-15-2013 09:04 PM

awesome!

Mudslinger 05-15-2013 09:08 PM

Very powerful story. Congrats on your 3 year anniversary and thanks for sharing your story. Maybe it will possibly help another to turn their life around like you did.

Physhstyx 05-15-2013 09:13 PM

Congrats my friend. I have beat the demon myself. I have a very similar story to yours. I pray every day for those that still struggle with this disease.

easeup 05-15-2013 09:16 PM

Standing tall right there!

Our God can do great things in us all.

Ricky T 05-15-2013 09:23 PM

God never gives up. He has more work for you. Like this post!

Graysonhogs 05-15-2014 07:31 AM

Update: Year four in the books. Life continues to go well. The damage of many years of selfishness on my part is slowly being repaired. I thank God everyday for getting me through this. Without Him and a very supportive family this wouldn't have been able to do this. Life is good. :)

konalehmann91 05-15-2014 08:02 AM

Congrats man! Prayers for many more blessed years full of life...

jetlag887 05-15-2014 08:08 AM

Awesome testimony!

rtp 05-15-2014 08:09 AM

Congrats, and I hope your story will inspire others to follow your lead.

Texastaxi 05-15-2014 08:30 AM

I missed this last year, but what an incredible testimony!

A huge congrats to you on another year!

EarleyBird 05-15-2014 08:30 AM

I bet you're saving a ton of money too.

cvanbrunt 05-15-2014 08:38 AM

Congrats, I've got an uncle that I've never met due to his alcoholism.

He never comes to the family reunions and dad said he doesn't ever remember a time that his brother was sober, it's been that long. Continued prayers headed your way.

Graysonhogs 05-15-2014 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EarleyBird (Post 8596229)
I bet you're saving a ton of money too.


Not really, lol. But at least now I have something to show for it. :)

Cajun Blake 05-15-2014 08:47 AM

glad you finally turned it over to God

each yr gets better, yet we must still live 1 day at a time


always makes me proud to hear from others who have walked in my shoes

many more ppl need help and praying our similar stories save at least 1 person's life

muley4x4 05-15-2014 08:49 AM

continued prayers

louieagarcia 05-15-2014 08:56 AM

great news, glad things are going well. God is good!

Graysonhogs 05-15-2014 08:58 AM

May 15, 2010(Long Read)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Cajun Blake (Post 8596273)
glad you finally turned it over to God



each yr gets better, yet we must still live 1 day at a time





always makes me proud to hear from others who have walked in my shoes



many more ppl need help and praying our similar stories save at least 1 person's life


I wasted ways too many years struggling with it. I'm extremely fortunate that I'm able to rebuild my life. I have had one friend die from it at 39, and another just sentenced to 2 years in prison for DWIs. I'm very mindful of the fact that that could easily have been me. Not to mention setting a poor example for my boys. That's what bothers me the most. I don't dwell on the past though, but I am sure not going to forget it either.

mag301 05-15-2014 09:34 AM

wonderful ... God is good all the time

BIG BONE 05-15-2014 09:36 AM

congrats

Texas Tracker 05-15-2014 09:48 AM

It takes brass balls to walk away from the monkey on your back. Congrats sir!

MKH 05-15-2014 10:18 AM

Congrats on another year of getting to enjoy your family!

Heath 05-15-2014 10:21 AM

That is awesome. Keep it up.

br549redneck 05-15-2014 10:36 AM

Congrats your life has truly just began enjoy it to its fullest

fishanhunt 05-15-2014 10:57 AM

Great testimony. Thanks for sharing it with us. I'm sure you will help someone else. Keep telling your story and help as many as you can.

Graysonhogs 05-15-2014 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by br549redneck (Post 8596642)
Congrats your life has truly just began enjoy it to its fullest


Amen to that

thehunted 05-15-2014 11:19 AM

Congratulations

El Viejo 05-15-2014 11:19 AM

Great post! Thanks for sharing your story with the rest of us. God indeed delivers us undeserving folks from ourselves at times. I thank Him that He did that for me, and I'm sure you do the same.

Graysonhogs 05-15-2014 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Viejo (Post 8596776)
Great post! Thanks for sharing your story with the rest of us. God indeed delivers us undeserving folks from ourselves at times. I thank Him that He did that for me, and I'm sure you do the same.


I'm thankful each and every day.


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