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-   -   any good disfunctional family christmas stories (https://discussions.texasbowhunter.com/forums/showthread.php?t=568831)

Black_foot_ 12-28-2015 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rwurz (Post 10910435)
nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight i want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or i'll seriously hurt him. Lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.


I'm 5'-4" and would have been on him like white on rice! That would have been the last time he would have even thought about touching my wife.

yep!

jshouse 12-28-2015 12:35 PM

fun

4R Daddy 12-28-2015 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chew (Post 10919054)
:D. I wasn't sure where he lived, but I see a lot of she males in Houston with WE DEM BOYZ on their Tacoma back glass. Figured it was a safe bet.


Nah man, you forgot, shim drives a Dodge Avenger!!!!!

We live in DFW, but it's originally from Celina so I have officially declared the following: Ft Worth is where the west begins but Celina is the start of ETX. she's really confused every time I look at her and smh mumbling "@&$! East Texas". She doesn't get it.

catslayer 12-28-2015 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davoh (Post 10909451)
First Christmas after I married my wife. All of my in-laws are pretty great, other than my wife's brother. A real "piece of work", he would spend all his money on his vehicles, then refuse to get anything for his parents or sister. The only reason he got something for his mother, was (and I quote) "Shut [her] the f*** up" (spoken to her face).

Wife and I had just found out that parenthood for us would be a certified miracle, so all the family talk at dinner Christmas Eve, about "when's the kids coming?" was really wearing thin on my wife. Her brother, posts a message on Facebook(while we're at the dinner table, knowing the entire situation) about how happy he is for his sister and her new family, and that he was looking forward to our having kids. And he tags her on facebook, so everyone we know on both sides of the family is getting this notification about it. Both of our phones start blowing up with people saying "OMG CONGRATULATIONS!", to which we have to explain the situation.

My wife at this point is crying, really upset, which leads him to make more offhand comments about how stupid she is. I'm a pretty level headed guy, but admittedly I get a little hot tempered when someone hurts my wife. I start closing distance, when their grandmother(who's 75+ y/o, about 4'10", and maybe a 100 lbs soaking wet) steps in front of me, and quite loudly says(prompting me by my full name), "It's Christmas Eve, so you'll have to just turn the other cheek... (and turns over her shoulder) even if he is being complete ***hole..." This from one of the sweetest little old ladies I'd ever met.

Fast forward nine months, we hadn't spoken to him since that 'event'(a big deal since he and my wife up till we got married, would talk multiple times a day...). We run into him at their parent's place. Apparently he had unplugged a freezer that I'd been keeping in their garage, full of groceries and venison(which all spoiled). She confronts him, and that is responded to with him punching her. I'm not sure how it got to that point. I just hear her from inside the house, scream out "stop, get off of me". I look out to see him man-handling her, throw her face first into the side of his truck(hard enough to for me to hear the "thunk" from inside the house), and punch her in the head. While yelling obscenities about her. I step outside already mad, and yell at him 3 times to get off her, his response was laugh, and hit her again. The 4th time i ordered him to let go, it was backed up with my pistol being drawn. Now that I had his attention, and he was threatening me, the pistol went back in the holster, and placed on the hood of the car.

Yet, I'm the one everyone resents, and no one will bother to talk to me about it.

*shrugs*

... I don't know if I coulda shot him... but I'd have found a tire iron....Pistol whipped him or something... your a bigger man than me, he wouldn't be allowed on property with me or my wife any more... If that means not seeing mom screw it.

junkmanhunter 12-28-2015 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4R Daddy (Post 10919382)
Nah man, you forgot, shim drives a Dodge Avenger!!!!!

We live in DFW, but it's originally from Celina so I have officially declared the following: Ft Worth is where the west begins but Celina is the start of ETX. she's really confused every time I look at her and smh mumbling "@&$! East Texas". She doesn't get it.

Haha. You sir have a good sense of humor

muddydog 12-28-2015 02:50 PM

To start off my extended family get together usually ends with something, but several years ago my wife's cousins show up from Houston. They need up in my front yard swapping punches like men! They are sisters BTW and one is married to a cop around Houston. He steps in to help his wife and throws the sister on her face. She digs her fingernails in his face. He then hauled off and punched the crap out of her while she is on her back with his knee in her throat. Neighbor called the cops and they break it up. I had to go apologize to all my neighbors. Looked like a scene from cops! I just grinned at my wife and asked, uh who has the crazy family now. I politely asked them to leave and not come back...they all had to ride home together! Lol

woodsman 12-28-2015 03:13 PM

Our Christmas weekend concluded with my FIL calling the law on his meth-head son for trying to break into his prostitute wife's apartment with a crowbar.

This was a couple states away, but I'm bursting with pride nonetheless.

TXBuck74 12-28-2015 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chew (Post 10910451)
I was working patrol one christmas. The grandmother at this house had died in her sleep. They covered her with a sheet because they didn't want to call anybody and interrupt the party.

A grandson and grandaughter began arguing over who was getting grandma's refrigerator. Now remember....grandmother is in rigor mortis in the next room. Granddaughter stabs grandson as he is cleaning out the fridge to load it in his truck. She lunged him and he almost died.

I arrested granddaughter after threatening to shoot her and then had to call for a body car and ME investigator for grandma.

Merry Crimmus mofos!

LMAO!!! Best one I've read thus far!;)b:D

sharkhunter 12-28-2015 04:20 PM

All my drug head in-laws and step in-laws have either died, moved on or are in such bad shape it doesn't matter anymore. I also got rid of my crazy girlfriend that's ruined every holiday, birthday or special event in the last three years. My Christmas was actually very nice this year. Life is good my friends !!;)b

drwilliams 12-28-2015 04:45 PM

[QUOTE=Davoh;10909643]^^^^^^^^ Wise words spoken there....



Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight I want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or I'll seriously hurt him. lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended

What railroad does he work for and out of where?

GARR 12-28-2015 07:21 PM

[QUOTE=Davoh;10909643]^^^^^^^^ Wise words spoken there....



Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight I want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or I'll seriously hurt him. lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.


Sorry, can't hold my tongue, but you sir, are one huge freaking coward!!! You spin it however you choose, but you are still a giant, magnificent coward! You allowed a grown man to beat the he$l out of your wife, while you watched issuing verbal warnings??? You ought to be completely ashamed of yourself as a husband number 1, and a man in general number 2!

Truth known, her family might have gained an ounce of respect for you if you had beat him down! Since you acted like a true coward and issued "verbal" warnings, you have no respect from them at all.

You owe your wife a massive apology for not defending her, and also being a complete sissy in her time of need!

You may want to consider counseling for (A) being dumb enough to share this story on a public forum, and (B) having absolutely zero intestinal fortitude, even when your wife is being thrashed by another man. Either way, you are miles upon miles from being a man! He's 6'7 you said? So how tall does a man have to be while beating your wife before you just turn and run and hide????

What a disgrace.

Russ81 12-28-2015 09:40 PM

1 Attachment(s)
[quote=garr;10920693]
Quote:

Originally Posted by davoh (Post 10909643)
^^^^^^^^ wise words spoken there....







Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight i want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or i'll seriously hurt him. Lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.





Sorry, can't hold my tongue, but you sir, are one huge freaking coward!!! You spin it however you choose, but you are still a giant, magnificent coward! You allowed a grown man to beat the he$l out of your wife, while you watched issuing verbal warnings??? You ought to be completely ashamed of yourself as a husband number 1, and a man in general number 2!



Truth known, her family might have gained an ounce of respect for you if you had beat him down! Since you acted like a true coward and issued "verbal" warnings, you have no respect from them at all.



You owe your wife a massive apology for not defending her, and also being a complete sissy in her time of need!



You may want to consider counseling for (a) being dumb enough to share this story on a public forum, and (b) having absolutely zero intestinal fortitude, even when your wife is being thrashed by another man. Either way, you are miles upon miles from being a man! He's 6'7 you said? So how tall does a man have to be while beating your wife before you just turn and run and hide????



What a disgrace.


Attachment 764866

red-fin 12-28-2015 10:13 PM

My wife and I got one of the nephews a really nice po-go stick, like professional grade rig. Well his mom, my big fat SIL decides she gonna demo the stic, in living room, starts on one side of living room and 2 po-go's later it launches her into the huge Christmas tree!! I swear she hits her head on ceiling before she comes down on top of BIG tree. Wipes out tree, ornaments broken everywhere, tv gets broke, a few gifts laying around get wiped out. If I only would have video, did I mention she is BIG girl!! Kids crying, adults laughing, kids laughing, unbelievable!! My stomach still hurts!! Good **** right there!!

rtp 12-28-2015 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red-fin (Post 10921425)
My wife and I got one of the nephews a really nice po-go stick, like professional grade rig. Well his mom, my big fat SIL decides she gonna demo the stic, in living room, starts on one side of living room and 2 po-go's later it launches her into the huge Christmas tree!! I swear she hits her head on ceiling before she comes down on top of BIG tree. Wipes out tree, ornaments broken everywhere, tv gets broke, a few gifts laying around get wiped out. If I only would have video, did I mention she is BIG girl!! Kids crying, adults laughing, kids laughing, unbelievable!! My stomach still hurts!! Good **** right there!!

You are in the running for best story. How did someone not get that on video in this day and age? That would have been a youtube sensation.

Harry_Reed 12-28-2015 10:32 PM

maw try to cook a goat n that was fail dang almost Burt down house n tree to. Glad n I save the presents she hide n closet from youngins

Chew 12-28-2015 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry_Reed (Post 10921502)
maw try to cook a goat n that was fail dang almost Burt down house n tree to. Glad n I save the presents she hide n closet from youngins

Thanks, Boomhauer

RascalArms 12-28-2015 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry_Reed (Post 10921502)
maw try to cook a goat n that was fail dang almost Burt down house n tree to. Glad n I save the presents she hide n closet from youngins

Lawdy! :confused:

http://gifs.joelglovier.com/big-lebowski/oh-alright.gif

Froggy 12-28-2015 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chew (Post 10921524)
Thanks, Boomhauer

LMAO!!!!!!:D;)b;)b

Harry_Reed 12-28-2015 10:55 PM

I haves inn r ear deals n makes my words not straights as some but I like I say I save tree n gift for youngins n maw was happy house n tree still safe. Tree was n new shape so can be used next years for sure. Thanks.

bulltx50 12-28-2015 10:56 PM

Sister had common law husband who was a drummer for Mel Tillis back in the day. He also couldn't hold his liquor. Disrupted family Christmas pulling tree down at my mom's house, foul language etc..... Asked him to stop and he proceeded to throwing punches, landing one in my chest. Suffice to say I landed a right and left combo, out cold he went, carried him outside and stuffed him in the dog house. That big ole shepherd was smiling big time. I thought it was the least I could do since it was a tad cold outside. The next morning he woke up with his head between the dogs hind legs, hangover and he claims he whooped my a##. To this day, I let the polaroid tell the story. Family........

Chew 12-28-2015 11:06 PM

Awesome.

junkmanhunter 12-28-2015 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red-fin (Post 10921425)
My wife and I got one of the nephews a really nice po-go stick, like professional grade rig. Well his mom, my big fat SIL decides she gonna demo the stic, in living room, starts on one side of living room and 2 po-go's later it launches her into the huge Christmas tree!! I swear she hits her head on ceiling before she comes down on top of BIG tree. Wipes out tree, ornaments broken everywhere, tv gets broke, a few gifts laying around get wiped out. If I only would have video, did I mention she is BIG girl!! Kids crying, adults laughing, kids laughing, unbelievable!! My stomach still hurts!! Good **** right there!!

Someone has t on have this on video..that would be an instant hit

Anvilheadtexas 12-28-2015 11:11 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Mom got drunk and dad got drunk....

Attachment 764883

REK at the House of Blues singing about a dysfunctional Xmas.

cwill 12-28-2015 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry_Reed (Post 10921590)
I haves inn r ear deals n makes my words not straights as some but I like I say I save tree n gift for youngins n maw was happy house n tree still safe. Tree was n new shape so can be used next years for sure. Thanks.

:D

wtb90 12-28-2015 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harry_Reed (Post 10921590)
I haves inn r ear deals n makes my words not straights as some but I like I say I save tree n gift for youngins n maw was happy house n tree still safe. Tree was n new shape so can be used next years for sure. Thanks.

Do ur inn r ear deals effect ur typin?

dope hunter 12-29-2015 01:22 AM

1 Attachment(s)
[quote=garr;10920693]
Quote:

Originally Posted by davoh (Post 10909643)
^^^^^^^^ wise words spoken there....



Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight i want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or i'll seriously hurt him. Lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.


Sorry, can't hold my tongue, but you sir, are one huge freaking coward!!! You spin it however you choose, but you are still a giant, magnificent coward! You allowed a grown man to beat the he$l out of your wife, while you watched issuing verbal warnings??? You ought to be completely ashamed of yourself as a husband number 1, and a man in general number 2!

Truth known, her family might have gained an ounce of respect for you if you had beat him down! Since you acted like a true coward and issued "verbal" warnings, you have no respect from them at all.

You owe your wife a massive apology for not defending her, and also being a complete sissy in her time of need!

You may want to consider counseling for (a) being dumb enough to share this story on a public forum, and (b) having absolutely zero intestinal fortitude, even when your wife is being thrashed by another man. Either way, you are miles upon miles from being a man! He's 6'7 you said? So how tall does a man have to be while beating your wife before you just turn and run and hide????

What a disgrace.

Attachment 764889

Hookem84 12-29-2015 01:49 AM

Wow great thread! Don't have anything near as dysfunctional to add.

Davoh 12-29-2015 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmeghunts (Post 10918292)
You let a man hit your wife in front of you and all you did was point a gun at him? I agree with one of the other guys that you should've beat him down with a 2x4 or something. You should never let something like that go unpunished.

Quote:

Originally Posted by catslayer (Post 10919394)
... I don't know if I coulda shot him... but I'd have found a tire iron....Pistol whipped him or something... your a bigger man than me, he wouldn't be allowed on property with me or my wife any more... If that means not seeing mom screw it.

No amount of butt-whippin will do anyone any good. The boy hasn't had his but whipped a day in his life... doing so now only causes bigger problems. Funny how everyone's answer is always to lose their temper and pound someone into the ground. Sure are some tough guys around here hiding behind keyboards.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GARR (Post 10920693)
Sorry, can't hold my tongue, but you sir, are one huge freaking coward!!! You spin it however you choose, but you are still a giant, magnificent coward! You allowed a grown man to beat the he$l out of your wife, while you watched issuing verbal warnings??? You ought to be completely ashamed of yourself as a husband number 1, and a man in general number 2!

Truth known, her family might have gained an ounce of respect for you if you had beat him down! Since you acted like a true coward and issued "verbal" warnings, you have no respect from them at all.

You owe your wife a massive apology for not defending her, and also being a complete sissy in her time of need!

You may want to consider counseling for (A) being dumb enough to share this story on a public forum, and (B) having absolutely zero intestinal fortitude, even when your wife is being thrashed by another man. Either way, you are miles upon miles from being a man! He's 6'7 you said? So how tall does a man have to be while beating your wife before you just turn and run and hide????

What a disgrace.

There are no words to describe the absolute distaste your disrespect leaves in my mouth. I've not read a worse spewage of neanderthal retardedness since I outgrew 4chan at age 12. Grow up and learn about the real world...

You're an awful tough guy sitting behind your keyboard judging others. Keeping a calm head and ending the threat, regardless if you're capable of understanding the concept, is the right thing to do. Some of us don't get off on revenge fantasies like so many of you guys seem to.

The threat was ended, and without either one of us getting seriously injured. If that is beyond your lizard-brain level of comprehension, that's not my problem.

cattlelackranch 12-29-2015 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Masmak (Post 10917988)
Go see my MIL this week for Xmas. Everyone is sitting around catching up, and my SIL tells us her FIL accidentally shot himself earlier that day. Apparently was showing off his gun cleaning skills to the family. Multiple people and newborn in the room. He got lucky, only 13 stitches needed in his hand. Glad we didn't go there!!


Jose conseco your in-law?

jmeghunts 12-29-2015 07:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davoh (Post 10921928)
No amount of butt-whippin will do anyone any good. The boy hasn't had his but whipped a day in his life... doing so now only causes bigger problems. Funny how everyone's answer is always to lose their temper and pound someone into the ground. Sure are some tough guys around here hiding behind keyboards.



There are no words to describe the absolute distaste your disrespect leaves in my mouth. I've not read a worse spewage of neanderthal retardedness since I outgrew 4chan at age 12. Grow up and learn about the real world...

You're an awful tough guy sitting behind your keyboard judging others. Keeping a calm head and ending the threat, regardless if you're capable of understanding the concept, is the right thing to do. Some of us don't get off on revenge fantasies like so many of you guys seem to.

The threat was ended, and without either one of us getting seriously injured. If that is beyond your lizard-brain level of comprehension, that's not my problem.

I don't want to derail this thread so I will just say that we are going to disagree on who is hiding behind what.

Davoh 12-29-2015 07:43 AM

Ain't that edit button a wonderful thing. Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year!

MisterSanders 12-29-2015 07:57 AM

Here we go

BBRU 12-29-2015 07:59 AM

[quote=GARR;10920693]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Davoh (Post 10909643)
^^^^^^^^ Wise words spoken there....



Nothing virtuous about it. He's about 6'7", and works for the rail road. That's not a fight I want to be in. Two things will happen. Either he'll whip me, or I'll seriously hurt him. lose-lose for me. I only wanted the threat ended.


Sorry, can't hold my tongue, but you sir, are one huge freaking coward!!! You spin it however you choose, but you are still a giant, magnificent coward! You allowed a grown man to beat the he$l out of your wife, while you watched issuing verbal warnings??? You ought to be completely ashamed of yourself as a husband number 1, and a man in general number 2!

Truth known, her family might have gained an ounce of respect for you if you had beat him down! Since you acted like a true coward and issued "verbal" warnings, you have no respect from them at all.

You owe your wife a massive apology for not defending her, and also being a complete sissy in her time of need!

You may want to consider counseling for (A) being dumb enough to share this story on a public forum, and (B) having absolutely zero intestinal fortitude, even when your wife is being thrashed by another man. Either way, you are miles upon miles from being a man! He's 6'7 you said? So how tall does a man have to be while beating your wife before you just turn and run and hide????

What a disgrace.


Good post.

jer_james 12-29-2015 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davoh (Post 10922101)
Ain't that edit button a wonderful thing. Merry Christmas! and Happy New Year!

I'm not judging you by any means because I understand that when faced with situations directly, talking is worthless. Saying what you would do, and doing what you said are 2 completely different things.

That being said, if I were you, I would have a different plan than what you did if ever faced with a similar situation.

If you'd like to discuss via PM, Im available.

jer_james 12-29-2015 08:18 AM

I've got a little bit of a crazy Family on my Dad's side :

Uncle jumped on my Dad once because he couldn't take a ribbing. That didn't end well for my then Uncle (since divorced).

Another Uncle brought his Finace' in the house, and announced that his Mom (my Gma) and Step Dad (technically Gpa, but not really) had told him that he could come to Christmas Eve, but she wasn't invited. The rest of the Family (2 sisters and my Dad) were not aware of this and all gathered everything and walked out.

We dont really speak to the Gma or do any Family events. All the Aunts and Uncles and Cousins are extremely close, but the Gma has chosen to exclude themselves since that event.

Tejas Wildlife 12-29-2015 09:46 AM

PLEASE tell me that this thread will continue into "&$%# that happened to me on New Years Eve"!!! My wife is recovering in the hospital and the nurses can't figure out how I can laugh and cry at the same time. I just thought I had a crazy family!!! Keep them coming.

GARR 12-29-2015 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davoh (Post 10921928)
No amount of butt-whippin will do anyone any good. The boy hasn't had his but whipped a day in his life... doing so now only causes bigger problems. Funny how everyone's answer is always to lose their temper and pound someone into the ground. Sure are some tough guys around here hiding behind keyboards.

What were you hiding behind while issuing verbal warnings? You are the last person who should say someone else is hiding behind anything. Lose their temper you say? A MAN WAS BEATING YOUR WIFE IN FRONT OF YOU!! Temper be danged, I don't know a soul who would watch this take place.



There are no words to describe the absolute distaste your disrespect leaves in my mouth. I've not read a worse spewage of neanderthal retardedness since I outgrew 4chan at age 12. Grow up and learn about the real world...

I know all about the real world hoss, maybe you need to learn about it? I'm a neanderthal for stating I would not stand by and watch a man beat my wife, ummm okay???

You're an awful tough guy sitting behind your keyboard judging others. Keeping a calm head and ending the threat, regardless if you're capable of understanding the concept, is the right thing to do. Some of us don't get off on revenge fantasies like so many of you guys seem to.

Keeping a calm head while watching your wife get throttled is also known as being scared. You ended the threat, but after what damage was done to her? And since there were no consequences for the actor, it will most likely happen again sometime. When it does, remember to stay calm and use your words.

The threat was ended, and without either one of us getting seriously injured. If that is beyond your lizard-brain level of comprehension, that's not my problem.

So, the threat was ended with only your WIFE taking a beating from a man, and you feel this is a success? You, nor her brother was seriously injured, but she was, mission accomplished?? Read what you type. And you say I have a lizard brain, yeah okay pal, lol. ;)b

Harry_Reed 12-29-2015 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wtb90 (Post 10921671)
Do ur inn r ear deals effect ur typin?


Oh. Thanks.

Davoh 12-29-2015 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GARR (Post 10922736)
So, the threat was ended with only your WIFE taking a beating from a man, and you feel this is a success? You, nor her brother was seriously injured, but she was, mission accomplished?? Read what you type. And you say I have a lizard brain, yeah okay pal, lol. ;)b


Unlike you my friend, who are so overflowing with alpha male bravado that you feel the need to belittle someone over the internet with your own archaic machismo, I am not intimidated, and am willing to admit that I have no ability to go toe to toe with someone in better physical condition than myself. The end result of such a CF would be him in serious condition at a hospital. I can't punch for crap, but I can break limbs, which is what that would devolve to. Maybe you're ok with that, but personally, I prefer to use my brain instead of putting the spoiled golden child of two decorated police officers in the hospital. I have more respect for them, than to do that.

My wife took a couple hits and slaps to the head. Humiliating and painful. How does that compare to broken bones, debilitating broken limbs, hospital bills and lost work.

I'm not the one calling someone a coward, and less of a man, because they choose to use their brain to think long-term.

Davoh 12-29-2015 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jer_james (Post 10922180)
I'm not judging you by any means because I understand that when faced with situations directly, talking is worthless. Saying what you would do, and doing what you said are 2 completely different things.

That being said, if I were you, I would have a different plan than what you did if ever faced with a similar situation.

If you'd like to discuss via PM, Im available.

A thoughtful and respectful criticism, which I welcome. Will pm.


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