Parenting Input

[abilliott]

Try to explain the "part of a team" concept. At four he may/may not get it but as long as he isn't kicking and screaming about not wanting to play just try and be encouraging and keep being positive about playing is fun and his team needs him all without being forceful.

[Rack Ranch]

I wouldn't force him if he doesn't want to do it. Let him pick the sports or activities he wants to participate in. If he liked T-ball then that can be his sport for now. As he grows and matures he may have other interest, mine were baseball and fishing and hunting. He may be 6 foot tall in the 7th grade and be a star basketball player, but again a disagree with forcing him into a sport. I see so many of these select baseball parents who are completely nuts trying to relive their childhood through their children. Bad Idea!!

[bboswell]

Way too young to force into a sport

[tx_basser]

we found that if he had friends who were in the same sport it made it easier.

[LiftAndShoot]

Just an option to see if it's an honest 'don't want' or something else - Tell him that he's got to go play soccer or he's got to do something else. If he consistently picks the 'something else' then he just doesn't like soccer. If he consistently tries to pick nothing, he's doing some developmental boundary testing. And, of course, he'll throw fits and not do anything - in my experience (happened with my boy) they will tend to forget they don't want to do something as soon as they see someone else having fun.

Just a thought - I deal with this with my daughters, now. The biggest 'win' for you is finding out of they truly don't want to do a thing or if 'no' and 'I don't wanna' is their favorite phrase because it gets a reaction out of daddy.

.02 and all that.

-LaS.

[boomerball]

I say make him give it a real try. also try to figure out why the change of mind .... may have nothing to do with soccer, may be sonething silly, may be an opportunity to work through something out that will apply beyond soccer....

[Shane]

The problem is, he doesn't even want to go at all. We got to the field for the first practice and he "forgot his water bottle" and would not get out of the car. So we left and I've asked him a few times since if he wanted to play and go try and he says "no". So, technically, he hasn't even started it... It's not like we made it to the first practice and now he doesn't want to play.

He just recently played Tball in the spring and we had no problems with it. I coached him, though. I did not sign up to coach soccer because A. I don't know anything about soccer. B. I wanted to see how he would do without me being the coach.

He says that he doesn't want to go because "I'm not the coach" but I'm not sure on the truth in that, lol.

Your first post says you signed him up for soccer. Did he ask to play, or did you sign him up without him saying he wanted to play?

If he didn't ask to play and you just signed him up thinking he'd enjoy it, I definitely wouldn't force him to play. If he asked to play and then backed out at the first practice, I probably still wouldn't force it on a 4 yr old. If you do and he REALLY doesn't want to play (sounds like the case), forcing him into it might ruin his desire for all sports going forward.

I agree with all the finish what you start stuff. But he's 4. There's plenty of time for those lessons to be learned when he's old enough to understand better. It's not the end of the world if a toddler isn't involved in several organized activities. Probably better if they're not, IMO.

[stickemhard3]

At 4 I wouldn't force it. Whenever HE is ready, try it again.

[Traildust]

Was this your wife's idea?

[systemnt]

Was this your wife's idea?

the kid or soccer?

[justindiehl7]

I don’t blame him for not liking soccer[emoji23][emoji23] nobody in their right mind should want to run back and forth all day for nothing[emoji28]


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[Blake8504]

Your first post says you signed him up for soccer. Did he ask to play, or did you sign him up without him saying he wanted to play?

If he didn't ask to play and you just signed him up thinking he'd enjoy it, I definitely wouldn't force him to play. If he asked to play and then backed out at the first practice, I probably still wouldn't force it on a 4 yr old. If you do and he REALLY doesn't want to play (sounds like the case), forcing him into it might ruin his desire for all sports going forward.

I agree with all the finish what you start stuff. But he's 4. There's plenty of time for those lessons to be learned when he's old enough to understand better. It's not the end of the world if a toddler isn't involved in several organized activities. Probably better if they're not, IMO.

He did not ask to play. I said "hey do you want to play soccer" and he said "okay". It was more or less he was at the age to play so I signed him up to play. His only concept of soccer has been us kicking around a ball in the back yard. I've pretty much made up my decision, but value this site and others opinions.

[Pedernal]

good points on both side... To me it seem like the biggest issue is figuring out/deciding whether this is a tantrum type refusal or is there a reason he no longer wants to participate. Personally, I would find some age appropriate work that he would be responsible for in the time he would have been at soccer practice/games. Take this with a grain of salt as I don't have kids...

OP, Disregard as I just now read your above post.

[BuckRage]

You'll be fine either way. As long as your involved its a great thing for kids development. Good luck.

[OleTomTalker]

I agree with the not forcing them into a sport. I also like, as mentioned above, telling them they will be involved with something and then let them be part of deciding what.
I am very big on the "if you start it, you finish it. Doesn't mean you have to play next year". That was the only part of what you wrote that didn't set with me well was the water bottle and you not being coach. Don't let them learn that coming up with excuses allows them to get out of something. As for you coaching, you can still be right there with him all along the way even if you're not the coach.