School situation with my 12 yr old

[silentstalker92]

Never turn both cheeks. If your son has asked the bully to stop or you have already talked to the school with no avail. Time for some mma lessons

[silentstalker92]

Also if i EVER found out my kids were bullying someone the *** whooping they would recieve would be heard around the world

[txpitdog]

Went this last year with my 4th grader, only he connected. We went on offense. We explained it had been going on for a long time and described all the strategies we’d given our son to help him work through it. We told the school that if they had a bullying investigation policy we wanted it started and that our son would continue to punch the kid in the face on a daily basis if need be until the other kid left him alone. That didn’t get us very far with the school but one more good shot to the face the next week and the kid left my son alone.

I was also bullied in high school by a much bigger football player that I could not contend with physically. I hit him in the mouth in self defense and he beat the hell out of me. The next day he started up again and hit me in the back. I resorted to escalated violence that would have gotten me expelled these days, but that fool never messed with me ever again.

[lk05077]

I have to agree with the stand up for your self crowed. I have daughters but even with that always told them if your getting picked on they get 3 chances you tell the teacher or another adult about it if that does not get the job done do what you have to do. I even went as far as telling the teachers don't call me saying they beat the crap out of someone after telling you 3 times that it was happening, but if they swing 1st and never said anything that is another story. I say you have to tell them to go ahead and stand up for themselves if telling someone does nothing swing away and take the punishment.

[Mudslinger]

You have 3rd graders that are 6’?


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Not 3rd graders, but 5th graders, I have 2 in my unit and there are a few more in Gen Ed.

And yes everything in the Gen Ed of almost any school in TX is or shortly will be screwed up. You can sign papers to have corporal punishment given by the principal but no one else. It is getting to the point that you can hardly touch a kid to discipline him.

There is basically no way to discipline a student today and these kids know it. We have elementary kids attacking teachers and other students and not just in this district.

And do not tell me that this does not happen in the smaller rural schools. I work in a behavior unit in a large district and we gets kids constantly from our outlying rural districts because they cannot handle the behaviors of these kids. DO not believe what these kids are capable of, come spend a few days in my unit and see what they are capable of and then see if you could do this day in and day out. It is not easy.

I have been kicked, punched, bitten, scratched, had chairs, desks, books, binders and anything they can pick up thrown at me, stabbed with pencils, bitten, clothes torn and peed on. All in a days work. I also had on TA that was physically assaulted and he ended up tearing some ligaments in his wrist defending himself and this from a 3rd grader all trying to protect other kids in the room.

We are legally able to restrain a kid, but these kids know what they can do to stop us and it is a very strict set of rues that have to be followed before we an restrain them.

Times have changed and it is not getting any better for the good students and a lot of your kids and unfortunately there are not enough people that can change things and some of these changes for the worse are coming from people that have no idea what is happening in our school systems and some that do not really care.

[Low Fence]

Diamond Dave’s ninja school should do the trick!

In all seriousness I hope the problem is resolved

[jer_james]

If a kid is calling your kid names - and then your kid punches them, then your kid is part of the problem. You can't just hit someone for saying bad stuff as a kid, or an adult. Bullying or not.

I agree it's horrible, but it is how it is. Self control is something kids should adhere to, so that they can practice the same when they are adults.

If he is threatening your kid, that is different.

Also, 95% of your kids aren't going to stomp a mud hole in anything more than likely. John Wayne and Westerns have some people believing in a false reality.

[Texas8point]

If a kid is calling your kid names - and then your kid punches them, then your kid is part of the problem. You can't just hit someone for saying bad stuff as a kid, or an adult. Bullying or not.

I agree it's horrible, but it is how it is. Self control is something kids should adhere to, so that they can practice the same when they are adults.

If he is threatening your kid, that is different.

Also, 95% of your kids aren't going to stomp a mud hole in anything more than likely. John Wayne and Westerns have some people believing in a false reality.

I have told my son from the time he was little that fighting is not something he should do until it is a last resort. I also told him he is not to be anyone's doormat. This has been going on for a couple of months and I hoped it would resolve itself and it hasn't. I don't think my son standing up for himself makes him part of the problem. The school is involved now and will have the opportunity to make things right. I am skeptical, but will remain hopeful. At no time during this process will I ask my son to be this kids whipping boy. It will eventually get resolved and we will deal with the consequences, if there are any at that time.
As an adult you wouldn't tolerate someone treating you like that, so I will not ask my son to suffer through it. Adults also realize running your mouth could get you hurt or killed and that is why most of us don't do it.

[Mike]

I hope it's all good today.

I have read some posts that make me question a few things and make me shake my head on this thread.

Several posts defending a DA, I will tell you this, they are politicians. They will indict a ham sandwich for the right political contribution, I have seen it happen. It's all who you know these days and that gets things done.

We have a local school that touts their "No Bullying Policy, Zero Tolerance" and it's the worst in the area for the issue. My best friend son gets bullied very often and has taken matters into his own hands 3 times just this year and was commended on his actions each time. That's from the assistant principal, who has a personal relationship with his father. It's all who you know. You know the deal, "the other kid deserved it, wink wink." I forgot to mention that my best friend is the Assistant DA,,,,

We have another school that a 504 student(junior in HS) was being bullied terribly for a while by a let's say a "rich, white, athlete" and it was bad. My son even heard and saw instances of it and a few other players intervened once or twice to stop it. Finally the kid had enough and went off, I mean went off and beat his tail. The bully, well nothing happened to him. The other kid, he was suspended for a week and then 2 weeks of ISS isolation. For those 3 weeks, over half the students cars were painted in Free Him, as they knew the wrong kid was punished. Did I forget to mention that the bullies mom worked at the school,,,,,, It got so bad for the bully, they had to put him into private school.

It's all who you know I believe regarding the outcome. Shouldn't be that way but it is.

[jer_james]

I have told my son from the time he was little that fighting is not something he should do until it is a last resort. I also told him he is not to be anyone's doormat. This has been going on for a couple of months and I hoped it would resolve itself and it hasn't. I don't think my son standing up for himself makes him part of the problem. The school is involved now and will have the opportunity to make things right. I am skeptical, but will remain hopeful. At no time during this process will I ask my son to be this kids whipping boy. It will eventually get resolved and we will deal with the consequences, if there are any at that time.
As an adult you wouldn't tolerate someone treating you like that, so I will not ask my son to suffer through it. Adults also realize running your mouth could get you hurt or killed and that is why most of us don't do it.

I would change my definition of doormat if you think being called a name is being a doormat.

Words have no power, until you give it to them. You can only control yourself, and people are going to say terrible things, and be terrible people. You can't control them as a kid or an adult.

As an adult you also realize that if you hit someone for calling you a name, you will go to jail.

If my kid hit someone because he called him a name, my kid would be severely punished. He would take responsibility, and understand that there is never a time where name calling results in physical violence.

As I said, threats and hostility are different.

[DFWPI]

Not 3rd graders, but 5th graders, I have 2 in my unit and there are a few more in Gen Ed.

And yes everything in the Gen Ed of almost any school in TX is or shortly will be screwed up. You can sign papers to have corporal punishment given by the principal but no one else. It is getting to the point that you can hardly touch a kid to discipline him.

There is basically no way to discipline a student today and these kids know it. We have elementary kids attacking teachers and other students and not just in this district.

And do not tell me that this does not happen in the smaller rural schools. I work in a behavior unit in a large district and we gets kids constantly from our outlying rural districts because they cannot handle the behaviors of these kids. DO not believe what these kids are capable of, come spend a few days in my unit and see what they are capable of and then see if you could do this day in and day out. It is not easy.

I have been kicked, punched, bitten, scratched, had chairs, desks, books, binders and anything they can pick up thrown at me, stabbed with pencils, bitten, clothes torn and peed on. All in a days work. I also had on TA that was physically assaulted and he ended up tearing some ligaments in his wrist defending himself and this from a 3rd grader all trying to protect other kids in the room.

We are legally able to restrain a kid, but these kids know what they can do to stop us and it is a very strict set of rues that have to be followed before we an restrain them.

Times have changed and it is not getting any better for the good students and a lot of your kids and unfortunately there are not enough people that can change things and some of these changes for the worse are coming from people that have no idea what is happening in our school systems and some that do not really care.

Total BS these days, teachers not being able to do anything. We were dispatched to one JrHS and when I walked into the office, two teachers were trying to stop the flow of blood from their noses, one teacher had a swollen eye and the assistant principal had a bloody lip. Quick assessement was a student out of control, but he had calmed down for the moment and was sitting in an office. I walked in to check on him, another officer arrived and I told the kid he would have to go with us. He immediately stood up, said he wasn't going anywhere and that he was going to kick my arse too.

This kid was in the 8th grade, but was 6'1" and about 180 pounds. He clenched his fists and came at me, only to receive a face full of pepper spray. He went down like a ton of rocks, literally started crying and saying he wanted his mommy. The teachers and principal were all upset with me, asking why I sprayed this kid. I told them I was not going to my get butt kicked by this kid, and nurse injuries like they had. Kid went to juvenile center, and saw him a month later and we talked. He said that he was sorry for the way he acted, had anger issues and the teachers always let him get away with stuff, so he did what he wanted to do. He said I was the first person to really stand up to him, and he now knew there were people that would stand up to him and he never wanted to feel pepper spray again. All was good with him the rest of the school year.

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[Texas8point]

I would change my definition of doormat if you think being called a name is being a doormat.

Words have no power, until you give it to them. You can only control yourself, and people are going to say terrible things, and be terrible people. You can't control them as a kid or an adult.

As an adult you also realize that if you hit someone for calling you a name, you will go to jail.

If my kid hit someone because he called him a name, my kid would be severely punished. He would take responsibility, and understand that there is never a time where name calling results in physical violence.

As I said, threats and hostility are different.

I understand what you are saying and I do not agree with you, but that's ok.
We just think differently is all and again that's ok.

[jdg13]

In the litigious pansy society we live in, he'll get in more trouble than it's worth. It sucks. The best thing you can do is support him. That doesn't mean hold his hand and tell him the world will be nice to him. Teach him that verbal BS is just that, and to ignore it as much as possible. The second it becomes physical, give no quarter. There's a difference between being a coward who is afraid to fight and a man who won't let some POS drag him down.

[Dakota7493]

Just so happens I teach 7th grade in a urban district and at an alternative campus. I see dozens of kids every year who were bullied and took matters into their own hands. You and your kid need to document everything, what was said, when it was said, and most important is to make sure that he is informing an adult at school every time it happens. I see so many people on here advising to tell him to take the high road, brush it off, blah, blah, blah. Over 90% of the adults on here can't do that themselves but an adolescent who is raging with feelings of insecurity, hate, and even guilt is supposed to be doing this? Talk to him every night, tell him how awesome he is for battling with this every day and how much everyone loves him. Let him know it's a process to get it fixed and that it will stop. The school is ultimately responsible to keep their students safe and in a lot of cases it requires the documentation and most importantly the letting adults know. If your son justs goes off and swings at him without telling anyone about the issue then 100% your son will take the fall. The kids I see at my work who are bullied all have developed anger issues from dealing with this but almost all of them have no family support to help them. They are kids who have been let down by their parents and the school. From just you posting on here I know that's not the case with you. Tell your son to report it every time and you call the school every time as well. Hope this helps, hate seeing kids like this. It breaks my heart.

[RR 314]

I will never tell my son, or daughter for that matter, the following. . .

I have always told my son to keep his cool, catch him in the bathroom and see what he’s made of.....

:-) Laugh.