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Old 05-29-2019, 08:38 PM   #1
Four Point
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Default How do you cope with the loss of a Father

Hey guys, I would like to get some opinions from those of you who have lost your father. My dad was my hunting partner for my entire life and he recently passed away unexpectedly. I know that everyone grieves differently and there are natural stages that the human mind goes through. My question is, for those of you who always had dad there when you hunted, how did you get passed the pain of their passing and enjoy the memories doing what you both loved to do together. I have a great group of hunting partners, some of which may see this thread, but I'm worried about how I am going to get into the woods again. I know that he would want me to continue his legacy of hunting with my son. Please let me know how those of you with experience in this have dealt with it.
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Old 05-29-2019, 08:44 PM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Johnson County

Iím so sorry for your loss. I canít imagine. God bless you and I pray you will remember him and continue to hunt.

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Old 05-29-2019, 08:44 PM   #3
Eight Point
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Humble, TX

Man, I don't have advice at all but I know there is a good chance I'll be in ur shoes one day. Prayers up for you Sir. Good luck with the feedback on TBH.
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Old 05-29-2019, 08:45 PM   #4
Reel Screamer
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Cypress, Texas
Hunt In: Webb County

Your Dad will always be with you in the woods and you will think of him often every time you go. I lost mine long ago but use the time in the woods to chat with him and I’m pretty sure he hears me. Im sorry for your loss.
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Old 05-29-2019, 08:48 PM   #5
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Spring,Texas
Hunt In: West Texas, Dryden area, Forestville, Canada
Default How do you cope with the loss of a Father

You have to remember the good times. Cry, get ******, grieve And pray a lot. Time helps with the healing. I still talk with my Dad and Mom
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Old 05-29-2019, 08:50 PM   #6
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Evans, GA
Hunt In: Burke, Thompson, Lincolnton

Man sorry for your loss, don’t have any real good answers just remember your son would enjoy making the same memories with his father. And your father would love to watch y’all from above making them.
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Old 05-29-2019, 08:57 PM   #7
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Boerne
Hunt In: Sisterdale and el dorado , Jeff Davis, refugio/sinton , San perlita

Become a great raconteur, and tell of your good times together, and let others experience the joy you shared
I don’t think my departed loved ones would want me to dwell on grief
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:03 PM   #8
Jerry H
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Parker County
Hunt In: Retired

Sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad 10 years ago and still think about him every day. He was my hunting and fishing buddy too. We made a lot of memories in the field and on the water and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything.

I am not going to lie, its hard to get over but time does make it hurt less.
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:17 PM   #9
Bone Thug
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: San Angelo, TX
Hunt In: Irion County

I’m very sorry for your loss. I feel your pain, Brother. Ill be praying for you through out the summer and during this coming season.

It’s been 4 months since my Dad’s passing. He raised me hunting and I am who I am today because of him.

Here’s a small bit of how I’ve been handling it over these last few months....

For the last 6 years I haven’t really had the brain space, mental power or time to really focus on much of anything other than God, my Dad and his health. My wife and daughter have been amazing and very understanding.

Since he passed away back on January 25, 2019. I have had a lot of extra time. I’ve slowed down a lot. However, I have have been missing my Dad like crazy.

I needed some thing to preoccupy and take my mind of things ... I jumped head first back into my passion of Archery.

I’ve been a tinkering son of a gun here recent and shooting my bow almost every day. I’ve been experimenting with a wide range of broadheads, many different vane combinations with different spines just to see how they react. As well as stabilizers and added weight. Spent many days stripping vanes off and refletching.

I never had the time to really dig into and learn my new Hoyt Defiant I got back in 2016. In the last 3.5 months I’ve shot that bow more than any of my other bows over the last 6 years or longer combined.

Me and that HOYT have a special connection now.
It’s been therapeutic flinging arrows down range and experimenting with it. I even caught myself smiling a few times. Lol
I look forward to it every day.

God has been so good to me and my family especially during this time.

I fell in love with archery back in May of 1992 and never stopped but now more than ever God has used my passion of Archery over these last few months and allowed me some healing power through it. I know this up and coming deer season is going to be rough but Dad and I shared a lot of good memories hunting. I’m going to try my hardest to relive those as much as possible in my a lone time in the blind.

I still can’t stop the tears from falling on a regular basis even now. There are still many sad days and I will forever miss him but it’s a healthy balance of that and peace.
I’ve seen thousands of arrows fly in the past but now I watch the perfect flight of the arrow and it has a whole new meaning to me and I appreciate it even more.

Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
“(6)Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (7)And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:30 PM   #10
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Porter, Tx
Hunt In: San Augustine

Originally Posted by Jcjohnson View Post
Man sorry for your loss, donít have any real good answers just remember your son would enjoy making the same memories with his father. And your father would love to watch yíall from above making them.
This. My grandpa was the father that raised me and it was fishing with him not hunting. We fished all the time from when I was 4 until the year he died in 2010. It took me almost 9 years before I really cared to fish again like we used too. I wouldn't even fish lake Conroe at all because that is where we fished the most. I deprived my kids of all that time with me fishing and making memories. I finally realized that what grandpa would have wanted was me to keep on fishing and doing what he loved. I am truly sorry for your loss but you have to keep on going on and doing what you love. Not a day goes by I dont think of him and man what smiles we all get when we start catching them catfish and thinking of grandpa.
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:33 PM   #11
Eight Point
Join Date: Jan 2016

Lost my dad in 1995,yes that’s been a few years ago, it gets easier as time goes by, but there are times when I just can’t think of anything but him. We were very close. I just try to think of all the good times and great memories we made. I have a lot of his things and I often will go and look at his stuff, it helps me get thru the day.One day at a time and allow yourself to grieve. God bless you!
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:36 PM   #12
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Shiner, TX
Hunt In: gonzales, county

No advice here. Sorry for ur loss.

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Old 05-29-2019, 09:37 PM   #13
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Hunt In: San Patricio, Mountain Home & wherever

Sorry for your loss. You should never forget and take each day just as you did with your Dad. That is the way he would want it.
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:46 PM   #14
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Bridge city Texas
Hunt In: Jasper county newton county and sabine county

Sorry for your loss..

I lost my dad in March of 15 . He was my bestfriend. We hunted fished worked together.. we talked on the phone atleast once a day and text several times a day.. he battled copd and eventually got a lung transplant. But cancer got him 3 years later.. I think about him everyday and have caught myself dialing his number when I had a question about work. Only to realize I couldn't get my answer that way anymore.. every hunting or fishing trip I still wish he was there to share the experience.. keep your head up I won't say the pain goes away but it will get better.. when you are sad think of the fun times together and think about what he would want you to do..
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:46 PM   #15
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Kirksville , mo
Hunt In: All over

Sorry for your loss man I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I don't have my old man around deer camp. But I will say this I took my little girl out turkey hunting this year and got her first bird and to see the excitement in her eyes almost had me in tears. I think taking your kids out hunting and fishing would be the best therapy possible. I'm sure your dad would want nothing else than to look down at you guys in a deer blind telling your kiddos stories about there grandpa. I know my grandpa was a huge part of my life he's been gone for years but I still love hearing old stories about him.

Last edited by Dandy123; 05-29-2019 at 09:48 PM. Reason: Spelling
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:55 PM   #16
Mertzon Man
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God bless you Sir.
I haven’t lost my Dad, but he’s 90 and in bad health. I pray I’m as solid and faithful as he is knowing his time is near.
I have lost a son, and your right people grieve differently. I tried to hunt the same as always and it didn’t seem the same. It took me a couple of years to enjoy it.
Look forward to hunting with your son as your dad would want you too. I have a wonderful son and grandson to enjoy God’s gifts in the woods.
Prayers for your loss.
Time does help ease the pain of your loss.
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Old 05-29-2019, 09:59 PM   #17
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Plano
Hunt In: Kansas / Missouri / Africa

Sorry for your lose. It is painful but with time your memories will bring you more and more joy.
My father, and hero, passed over 25 years ago and he is with me daily. Anytime I get into some type of project he and I have a conversation to go over how he would do it. I think of him with every walk into the woods and we talk while hunting. He had the patience of Job and he has kept me in the stand just a little longer many times. He has slowed me down on many a blood trails and made me wait for the perfect angle for the best shot.
Hang in there and because you know he would want you too.
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Old 05-29-2019, 10:08 PM   #18
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Big Lake TX.
Hunt In: Reagan, Upton, Crockett, and Uvalde counties

My dad passed in 2002, still miss him every day, even though we miss him it's up to me now to pass on to my sons and grandsons the legacy that he passed to his sons and grandsons. Even though I miss him and sometimes may not be exactly sure about how to go about some things I trust that Dad is still guiding me along the way.
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Old 05-29-2019, 10:09 PM   #19
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Hunt In: All over Texas

First off, Iím sorry for your loss.
Grief is something that each person handles differently.

I lost my father two years ago from complications after a heart surgery performed by VA doctors in conjunction with some of the very best cardio surgeons in the country. Seeing him for 13 days in the hospital with an open chest was brutal and demoralizing. And i still have a hard time thinking about him for how he was prior to surgery. All i see is him laying in a bed with surgical plastic covering a hole in his chest.

But what works for me, may not work for others. When i get to really missing him, i pull out some pictures of him to get my mind off what i saw. Usually, its the picture of him with his first buck that i guided him on here at my place, or the pic of him sitting along a mountain lake fishing the summer before his operation. Something that is a great memory.

Right after the funeral, i shut everybody out. But what i really needed was to be with my wife and son. It kept me occupied and they were great emotional support and a shoulder to cry on.
It was tough having to pull the plug on my own Father. But after a while, in my case a few years, the bad starts to drift away and all that is left is the good times we had together.

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Old 05-29-2019, 10:13 PM   #20
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Abilene Tx
Hunt In: Buffalo Gap

I lost my Dad Feb.2nd of this year.So I can relate cause Dad had
me hunting and fishing all my life.I just try and remember all the
time we spent togather outdoors and know that Dad's not in pain
anymore.Its not easy but our Dads would want us to keep on keeping
on as my Dad would say.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Old 05-29-2019, 10:22 PM   #21
Eight Point
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Up North

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Old 05-29-2019, 10:22 PM   #22
Eight Point
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Join Date: Oct 2015

Been almost 23 years since mine passed unexpectedly .... as trite as it sounds time has a probably been the best thing. It takes years but eventually the hurt, pain, loss started to ease ... never truely goes away but it’s not as acute. Don’t get me wrong, there are times that I’ll start reminiscing and the tears start flowing. The episodes are fewer and farther between now.

One thing that has helped is my boys. Dad passed before they were born. They love hearing stories about him often asking me to retell them. That helps keep the good memories alive and fresh and is a blessing.

One thing I would add is prayer ... very honest ‘talk’ with God. I had a lot of those in the first years ... in my anger and pain I probably said some things one shouldn’t but thankfully He is forgiving. I believe those talks helped .. got things off my chest ... therapy if you will.

Prayers up for ya
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Old 05-29-2019, 10:40 PM   #23
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: conroe texas
Hunt In: Junction, Colorado, illinois, own property in Mountain Home.

God be with you sir I lost my Dad three years ago this August and I think of him everyday. That same fall I was in Illinois hunting with my brother and on Sunday I just stayed in the stand that day and reflected on my life and what all I had been blessed with. It was the middle of the day at 12:36 pm when I looked up and the biggest buck I’ve ever shot was walking across the middle of the field.
I know that my dad was with me as I shot the deer I felt so proud. Just raise your head and remember what he has taught you during his life. Remember he loves you and wants you to pass it on.
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Old 05-29-2019, 10:40 PM   #24
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Marble Falls/Burnet
Hunt In: Mills and Burnet County

You put one foot in front of the other each day. You will always miss him but the pain does ease .. prayers sent
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Old 05-29-2019, 11:02 PM   #25
Six Point
Join Date: Jan 2017

Time is the only answer I have. My dad died 3 months ago, I feel close to him while hunting at the lease. Just remember the good times you had together. Life is a beeyatch sometimes but you have to keep going.
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Old 05-29-2019, 11:06 PM   #26
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Palito blanco, tx
Hunt In: Ben Bolt, Tx

Sorry for your loss I lost
My dad 8 yrs ago it still hurts but I remember the good. The best way I could describe it is just telling yourself “ that’s life “ my uncle told me this and for some reason it’s always helped. It hurt when my dad left. But my brother had died less than a year earlier so it hurt but I was already broken at this point so it didn’t take much out of me. Dad is in a better place watching his granddaughter grow now. Whether he is here or there. I know he will always be protecting us.
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Old 05-29-2019, 11:07 PM   #27
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Manvel, TX mostly in the Doghouse
Hunt In: My Truck at night.

I lost my Dad 14 years ago. I can still remember our last fishing trip like it was yesterday. Be thankful for the time you had together. If you have kids of your own, honor his memory by making new ones with your children. Prayers for your family.

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Old 05-29-2019, 11:32 PM   #28
Preacher Man
Ten Point
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pearland
Hunt In: Jasper Co.

Still have my Dad. But he's too old to fish anymore, which was his 'thing' with his Dad. After Paw Paw died, my Dad didn't fish for years. Now, with grand children running around, its all he wants to do, but can't.

I think the best thing for my Dad would have been to grab me, or now, grab any of his grand children, and go fishing.

My Paw Paw got the hunting bug started for me. And luckily, I still hunt the same ground he did. I literally walk the same ground he did. And that brings me closer to him. When Dad is gone, you can bet I'll be fishing the same spots we did and laughing about how crazy of dude he was.
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Old 05-30-2019, 03:07 AM   #29
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Decatur TX

My Dad passed away 4 days after my 19th birthday now I’m 52. I still think about him all the time. I have tried to live my life in way that would have made him proud of me. I spend a lot of time with my son doing the things that I never got to do with my Dad. Just remember life goes on. Remember the good times and don’t dwell on the bad.
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Old 05-30-2019, 06:01 AM   #30
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Hunt In: Buffalo and Juno, Texas

I lost my dad 3 years ago May 21st..... The first year was brutal. This past year has seen some improvements. I still try and pick up the phone to call him..... I make sure I talk about him to my son and remember stories and show pics. I just thank God I had him for 47 years and my son had him for 10.

My prayers go out to you. Its never easy losing a father/dad/friend all rolled into one.
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Old 05-30-2019, 06:13 AM   #31
Tony Pic
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Texas and NYS
Hunt In: The Picarosas North and South, Kerrville, Mountain Home and Harper

Sorry for your loss. My Dads 10 year anniversary just passed a few days ago, so I am feeling it also. What kept me going was all the good times and the memories we had together. Whenever I felt a little down I called my brother and we spoke about Pop. I did some crying alone in the beginning, but life went on. I could have made the decision to stay dwelling about what once was...or move on. I moved on. I have the memories no one could ever take away. Teach your kids well and never let them forget who Poppa or Grandma were.
My condolences.
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Old 05-30-2019, 06:26 AM   #32
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Brenham & Richland Springs
Hunt In: Richland Springs & Washington on the Brazos

So very sorry for your loss. My dad has been gone for nearly 30 years and I still miss him.
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Old 05-30-2019, 06:40 AM   #33
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Katy, TX
Hunt In: Stonewall Co.
Default How do you cope with the loss of a Father

Iím sorry for your loss, I lost my dad 4 years ago this September. He started me hunting at age 5 with a 410 snake charmer stomping around where we dove hunted, then a 243 for deer at 7. Losing him was extremely difficult, but for me, remembering all the conversations we had driving back and forth to the lease his last couple of years is what has helped me.

He was my got to for questions about life and how to be a Christian husband and father, and I was lost for a couple of years, luckily I have some great friends and hunting buddies that would drag me to the ranch.

My dad was 66, and what it really made me do is focus on what matters in life and to enjoy the time weíre given. Since then Iíve made a commitment to do some different hunts atleast once a year. So far Iíve hunted mule deer in Colorado twice, antelope with the bow, bear with the bow, and in 2 weeks Iím going to Africa with my wife and 7 year old son. Iíve also been able to go to Kenya for what will be the 4th time in 3 years for mission trips, something I donít know if I wouldíve had the courage to do before.

I think keeping his memory alive in our kids is also important. My sisters 2 kids werenít born yet when my dad died, her son was born 2 weeks after my dad died. Those kids can look at a picture and tell you thatís Daddy T though.

Life is short, live and love your family and friends like thereís no tomorrow because itís not guaranteed.

My dadís passing also started my wife on our debt free journey and we paid off everything but the house in about 13 months and the house will be paid off in another 5. God is good in all things and all times and itís amazing what we can do now that weíre out from under the weight of the debt.
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Old 05-30-2019, 06:57 AM   #34
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Austin Area
Hunt In: Texas

Sorry for your loss. I experienced losing my father who taught me to hunt and fish at age 15, 23 years ago. It was hard at first, being young I was always upset that I missed the time with him. As I have grown up, I have tried to make sure my daughters have as many opportunities to spend time in the woods and on the water as we can. I have come to realized I didnt miss anything with him being gone, we just got to share the experiences in different ways, because I know he has been with me often.
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Old 05-30-2019, 07:19 AM   #35
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Hunt In: The Outside

Sorry man. I love to hunt. My dad took me as a boy because I begged to go. Haven’t hunted with him in over 30 years. Hunting just not his thing. But he’s still great
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Old 05-30-2019, 07:27 AM   #36
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: West of Houston
Hunt In: now accepting invitations!

I lost my dad January 6th, 2018 after a "relatively" short battle with cancer.
When it was all happening, I kept thinking he'd beat it, because there was no way it would beat MY dad.
I have so many regrets for not spending more time with him.
Any time I am not busy, doing something, I break down.

I don't have an answer for you, but I hope you find one.
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Old 05-30-2019, 07:34 AM   #37
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: San Antonio

Lost my Dad on July 9th, 2017 very unexpectedly (major heart attack). I was in a daze for a couple weeks but it gets better with time. Grief turns into reflecting on the good memories and I smile more now. The one time I broke down was opening morning of bow season 2017 sitting in my pop up before the sun came up. Kind of hit me that if I shot a deer, I didnít know who I would call. He was always that first call. My condolences to you. Just know it gets better.

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Old 05-30-2019, 07:40 AM   #38
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Back in TEXAS!!! Sandia, TX

When I am in the woods with my son, now 17, he was 3 when I lost my dad, I simply remember my time with my dad and how it influenced me and how much I enjoyed it. I have realized over the years the fun and pride my dad must have felt when I was young as I do with my son and also wonder how he put up with me at times!

It is certainly bitter sweet and I always wish he was still here to enjoy it all, but I know he is watching us, proud of what we have become and giggling seeing me go through the stuff you just don't understand until you experience it!

Also enjoy reliving my experiences with my son through the stories and memories I share with him about his grandfather that he only remembers a tiny bit.
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Old 05-30-2019, 09:35 AM   #39
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Hewitt
Hunt In: Bosque Co., Henderson Co.

Lost my Dad April 23rd this year, it still hurts a good bit. We talked near every day and visited him and my mom almost daily. He had COPD, and its a very crippling disease, he went from building just about anything, to hardly being able to walk without being winded in just over 3 years during the later stages of the disease.

The last 10 years or so I fixed, repaired and maintained a lot for him and my mother. I do have memories from years ago, building, hunting and fishing with him, but they started traveling and cruising a lot, which I am glad they did. I traveled for work until 2009, so we missed a bunch of time in his later years, and he traveled a lot for his work growing up.

I take comfort in knowing hes not hurting anymore, because the last few months of his life weren't the best as he just couldn't do much at all and always in pain. Watching a man wither away like he did was very hard, and watching him in hospice care struggling to breath was a terrible experience for our entire family. He passed 5 minutes before I got back to the Hospital, I know he wouldn't of wanted me to see it, but its heavy on me these days.

I've never been one to believe spirit related stuff, but Ill tell you I never dreamed of my Dad, but the very next evening after he passed I did. I dozed off with my daughter in my lap while she watched afternoon cartoons. He was there and we were talking like we always did and he told me, Kirk I gotta go, and I woke up, as if to tell me bye and that he was ok. I know hes looking over us and playing a few games of moon with his mom and dad now.

His birthday is tomorrow, its gonna be tough, but worse on my mom, so we will get together and celebrate best we can. I know time helps, and I know i'll always miss him, but I just try and stay busy right now and help my mother out.
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Old 05-30-2019, 09:37 AM   #40
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Texas

“If you don’t keep his memory alive, he dies twice”

Prayers up
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Old 05-30-2019, 10:38 AM   #41
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Round Rock, TX
Hunt In: Where I can, Terrell County

Prayers up brother. I lost my Dad in 2001. I quit hunting, fishing, camping. playing golf etc. Didn't do anything that would remind me of my Dad. Started going to church made new friends most were not hunter or fisherman and that was ok with me. Then after about 5 years my Mom said she didn't have much money for Christmas gifts so she ask if there was anything of Dad's I wanted and she would give it to me for Christmas. I told her I would like to have Dad's shotgun that I bought him for father's day many years earlier. It was in the original box so she wrapped it and put it under the tree. Best Christmas gift I ever got. When I opened it it was just like the day I gave it to him Remington 1100 20 gas probably didn't have a box shells through it. My Mom made the comment too bad he didn't get to use it more and that is when it hit my Dad wants me to use it. He would want me to get back to having fun doing things we used to do. Been hunting, fishing, camping. golfing all kinds of stuff. I hated I wasted those years of not doing. I still go to the same church and have the same friends and they have commented several times when I am talked hunting or fishing that wow didn't know your were a hunter.
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Old 05-30-2019, 11:06 AM   #42
Ten Point
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Houston, TX

Very sorry for your loss.

My dad has been gone over 20 years, and it still hurts, and I think about him every day. He introduced my brother and I to the outdoors, camping, hunting, fishing, raising cattle, etc. I don't know where I would be if I didn't love all of those things. My grandfather (his dad) wasn't much into hunting and fishing, so he figured it out on his own, or with his friends. I believe and hope that he is watching over me when I have a fishing rod in my hand, or sitting in the deer blind, and I hope I am making him proud. Time does ease the pain, like the others have said. Not sure what to call it, maybe a sickness, or a better word would be passion, but there aren't many things in this world that will make me get out of a warm bed when its freezing cold outside, to go sit in a tripod and hopefully see or shoot a deer or hog. Not to mention I was probably depressed at the time, had a terrible high stress job, always in a bad mood, and broke as well. I also thoroughly enjoy a beautiful sunrise or sunset. Think about the good times that you had.

I don't go to church as much as I should, but I would much rather spend my time in the woods or on the water, rather than sitting on a church pew, and that's the way my father thought as well.

Last edited by hog_down; 05-30-2019 at 11:09 AM.
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Old 05-30-2019, 11:17 AM   #43
Pope & Young
AntlerCollector's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2014
Hunt In: Votaw, Hardin/Polk Co., TX. Bon Weir, Newton Co., El Dorado, Schleicher Co., TX.

Originally Posted by Johnny44 View Post
ďIf you donít keep his memory alive, he dies twiceĒ

Prayers up

So true.

I dread the day I will be in your shoes OP. My dad doesn't hunt hardly at all anymore because of his health. Many hunting trips and memories with him though. Keep hunting to honor him. When you are successful remember who taught you how to be a hunter.
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Old 05-30-2019, 11:25 AM   #44
Southern Blend
Four Point
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Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Longview
Hunt In: East Texas

First off, I am sorry for your loss and have sent prayers your way. I am going to come at this from a different perspective. This past December we lost our two-year-old son, Tripp, unexpectedly. He was the youngest of four kids. The morning he passed away I swore that I was done hunting for the season, maybe longer.

Prior to him passing away, I had taken our eight-year-old son hunting a lot. A few weeks after his death I was able to rethink about going hunting. I wanted to set an example for my eight-year-old son, Brooks, that you keep putting one foot in front of the other and we do not give up. By God's grace, I hunted my tail off the rest of the season. There was a big buck that I wanted to take to honor my son. I wasn't able to do it but maybe he is still around.

Don't get me wrong, I think I cried every single time that I set up in the stand. I thought about him and carried one of his little T-shirts with me. It was tough and I knew everytime I went into the field I was going to get down. All this to say, I have some current thoughts on grief.

1. There are no stages to grieving. You are not on a timetable. Give yourself some grace. You might go through stages of being mad, then sad, then back to mad. Thats normal.

2. Don't compare your grief to anyone else's. It does neither of you any good. The feelings you have are deep and very real to you. Thats all that matters.

3. Let people know what you are thinking. Men are not talkers about feelings. I am certainly not either but have improved in that area. You need to vent your emotions to others. I talk to my wife and some good friends about the loss. I think its good for you.

4. Lean into God and your faith. If you are mad or sad let God know. He is big enough to understand that.

5. Without grief, we cannot fully grasp the concept of happiness. You can't have one without the other.

5. Hunt. It is a way to honor your father, do what he would want you to do, and set an example for others. It will be hard but you can walk through it.

Prayers brother.
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Old 05-30-2019, 11:30 AM   #45
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Hunt In: Lindale

Originally Posted by Johnny44 View Post
ďIf you donít keep his memory alive, he dies twiceĒ

Prayers up
I like that quote a lot. Prayers for you and your family.
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Old 05-30-2019, 11:43 AM   #46
Ten Point
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Rockwall, TX.
Hunt In: Lampasas County

First let me say, I am sorry for your loss. A lot of us have been there. It has been 39 years since I lost my dad and life has never been the same. But, I continue to lean heavily on my faith in God for support. I grew up hunting and fishing with my dad, and he started me down the path that I have continued with my 3 boys and 2 daughters, and I expect they will pass along to their children. I always thought that I could honor my dad the most by striving to be as good a father and life example for my children as he was to me. And, sometimes, when I am hunting and fishing I still talk to him and I know that he is watching down on all of us and smiling. He was very young, and left us suddenly without warning, and time has eased the pain, but not the loss. Repeating the good stories of our times and experiences in the outdoors together with friends and family keeps his memory alive for us. I hope you will do that for your dad as well. We will keep you in our prayers.
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Old 05-30-2019, 11:44 AM   #47
Pope & Young
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Sweetwater TX
Hunt In: Nolan and Fisher Counties

I lost my dad 15 months ago, I still hurt most days when I think of him.

My father in law gave me a bit of wisdom, he lost his dad when he was 20.

You don't ever get over it, you just get through it.

I honestly went to counseling for about four months, it helped me tremendously. It probably isn't for everyone but I don't think I would have coped near as well without it.

I wrote a blog post about it.

Prayers for you. It's not easy my friend.
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Old 05-30-2019, 11:56 AM   #48
double bogey
Ten Point
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Mesquite
Hunt In: where ever I can

Lost my dad in 2001. He not only instilled the desire to hunt and fish in me, but also several of my friends.
I deer hunted one season after he was gone, but my heart wasn't in it. I ended up pouring myself into my work, and did some dove hunting. Now as I have grandchildren I am trying to get back into deer hunting with them, and my cancer seems to be fighting that effort.
I still have dreams with my father in them, but like most dreams, I can't remember the content after I wake up.
My mom passed in 2011, and very few days pass by without thinking of both of them.
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Old 05-30-2019, 12:31 PM   #49
Eight Point
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: SE Houston Friendswood
Hunt In: Zapata-San Ygnacio

I lost my pops December 10th to lung cancer that was found on Oct 21st. The day my sister in law died and my wedding anniversary.
He was my best man at my wedding. My hunting and fishing partner all my life. My kids spent tons of time with him.
I struggle all the time.
I know this.
Tried the bottle... I know it does not work. but it was easy... and it did not work
Yelled at God.. Prayed to God... Cussed God...
We go to church and I believe. Always have...

The one thing that has made it better is to talk about it...
Tell stories.. Who cares if people have heard them.. You need to hear them again.
Lean on the memories... Once we lose someone that is all we have.. the memories.
find strangers that enjoy the things you two did and tell them about him.

I think about it like the Indians.

All those that have gone before us live on in the stories and memories.
Its up to you to teach them to the next generation
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Old 05-30-2019, 12:32 PM   #50
Ten Point
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Join Date: Jun 2012

I was depressed for 12 months after I lost my dad in an accident. I was the last one he talked to. When I dropped him off at home I said I'll see ya later....The next time I saw him he was in his casket....
He was taken in a auto pedestrian accident at 80 mph....

It hurt me deeply, and I was in denial of how bad it was....
First and only time I went to counseling, it helped me tremendously.

You never get over it, you only get through it....
12 years later and I still tear up when I think of him.....

He wasnt a hunter, fisherman....
When I was 14 he was my father...
When I was 25 he was my dad...
When I was 40 he was my best friend...

I am tearing up now just typing this....

God bless you
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