Found the words that excite women.....

[Russ79]

"Sam's has toilet paper and paper towels".

My God, the wife talked me into going over there today because you know you can't have enough TP and paper towels. People were lined up waiting for the doors to open, and when they did it was like the gates opened at the Kentucky Derby- the race was on to get to the back corner where they have it. It was akin to Black Friday....

[rut-ro]

Still haven’t figured out the whole TP thing? Don’t these people realize by now the stores will be open ?

[flywise]

I went to a Randall’s before work the other day to get stuff for the fire station. Didn’t figure on seeing any tp but wanted paper towels for home and the good lord blessed me with the last 12 pack of TP. I almost felt guilty picking it up but if made it through the day before so I figured I’d better grab it.
I go at 7am and the last two shifts have been the first person in the store and still isn’t much in the store to pick up

[Johnny Dangerr]

My shower is 1.5 steps from the toilet. TP is not needed.....................

[muzzlebrake]

As long as there are trees and grass nearby there should never be a shortage of reach back material.

[Charles]

I scored a package of TP at Costco Thursday. My Wife and Daughter were very happy.

[4wheels]

My shower is 1.5 steps from the toilet. TP is not needed.....................

We did not need to know that....

[Shinesintx]

My shower is 1.5 steps from the toilet. TP is not needed.....................

I hope you keep your fingernails short...

[Daddypants]

I hope you keep your fingernails short...

Probably wouldn’t want to trim them with your teeth either...

[Burnadell]

My shower is 1.5 steps from the toilet. TP is not needed.....................

JOHNNY!!!