Holding a child back (4th grade)

[Rush2Judge]

I would have to agree with the person above that said if you think he needs to be held, he probably does. Listen to your gut. I often regret not holding my youngest back a year. His case was a little different. He was put into the PACE program, (for gifted and talented kids) by his teachers early on (1st grade) but he too had no motivation to do anything. Everything was easy for him both academically and athletically. As time went on, as things became harder, he just quit trying. He would move on to the next easiest path. We had him tested for ADD (passed with flying colors). We also tried the grounding approach. Didn't work. He didn't care about anything passionately enough to make a change.

He's now in college and the same symptoms carried forward. It wasn't until he turned 21 that a light seemed to go on (well at least it's burning dimly) and he transferred to a different college and major and is doing great. He learned he needed to get away from comfortable and friends to succeed.

Long way of saying I am convinced if we would have held him, it would have only helped. Maturity is everything. Good luck with your decision.

[CEO]

We held our daughter back after Kindergarten. Like some above she was very young and her teacher encouraged it. She had the same teacher the next year and there was a very noticeable difference. Our son will be two weeks younger than my daughter was when it's time for him to start so we've already been discussing if we should just wait a year before enrolling him.

[Rudyl]

Congratulations on being an active parent and taking interest in your child's education. My wife has been teaching at the elementary level for 38 years and the biggest problem is the parents have no idea what is going on in their child's classroom teaching and don't care. Also teachers in this school district are not allowed to hold back the student and if they do...whoa, they will hear it during their meetings. This school system is hanging on by a thread and administration is a big problem.

I would hold him back and let him mature a bit.

[trhunter]

Also on our son we got a lot of slack from the district as to wanting to hold him back. It finally came down to me telling them I am the parent and it is my decision and not theirs. I did take in consideration their input, but in the end only you and your wife know what is best for your child.

[91cavgt]

I was held back in 2nd grade. Primarily this was because of a move to a different school district where the new school district was several months ahead in the curriculum and I just never got caught up. Technically I did pass, barely. At the time it made me mad that I was being held back. My second year in 2nd grade though went MUCH better because I remembered some of the things that was covered and this helped me to get a better grasp on things.


Looking back on it now I realize how beneficial it was. If my daughter were having issues in school then I would not hesitate to hold her back.

[Palmetto]

We have a 4yr old son with an August 9th birthday. He could start Kinder next year, but just yesterday we confirmed with each other that we would wait another year.

Good luck OP!

[Shurshot]

I was held back in the second grade, My birthday is in august. It was the best thing my parents could have don't for me. I was on track with all the other kids after that. My brother, also an august birthday, was held back before he started. Me and my wife have already decided to hold our 2 boys back. I'm a believer. good luck.

[BitBackShot]

Hold him back. He'll gain a competitive advantage in sports and be one of the first to get his drivers license, which will help him with girls. Very, very important stuff to consider.

But seriously, you're his parents, I'd trust your gut.

[stickman]

I wasn't held back and graduated at a young 17. Grades were never an issue, always had older friends, and matured quickly. My only issue was I loved sports but was too small the majority of high school. By the time I was big and fast enough to play I had burned out trying/practicing so hard and riding the pine for 3 years that I gave it up. At this stage of the game I'd say it would be ok to hold him back, my concern would be how the kids in his school and he handle that. Kids can be down right nasty these days and really pick on him about being held back, could cause a big spiral down hill for his grades and attitude in my opinion.

[manwitaplan]

My wife was smart enough to start both of our kids later. September and June birthdays. It is night and day when their younger friends are over to hang out. I think it was the best decision for maturity levels. Go with your gut.

I hope my son is 6’5 and 220 his senior year but I doubt it. Lol.


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[jlp04c]

My wife works in the school systems all ages, the jist is... wait, always wait especially with a summer birthday, and especially with a boy.

Our son was born in May, and we held him in pre k for another year, it's been an excellent decision. we've watched him go from a shy kid that would fit in to the class to a leader, that is ahead of the class. Maybe not so much academically but just personality.

[COOLDAD1]

We held our son back in 2nd grade. He was the youngest of his class. This was the best thing we did I think. He was making A's and B's as well, but was struggling to keep up. Now he's in 4th and loves school and making straight A's.

[sierracharlie338]

While I was in school I was one of the oldest and my younger brother was the youngest in his class. Oddly enough I had no issues going through school and sports but my brother did.

My wife and I will be starting our daughter late in school (holding her back a year) because she needs that extra time to mature.

[Pkripper]

My wife and I are considering holding my son back this year, he is a 4th grader. Technically he is an A/B student, but it is artificially inflated because the school allows for grades to be corrected to passing, for most assignments and even some tests. This practice is asinine in my opinion, but that’s another discussion.

We have tried both carrot and stick. Kid has basically been grounded since thanksgiving due to grades. We are so frustrated. His homework takes 2+ hours per day with my wife’s watch care & assistance. But he continues to struggle to demonstrate a level of responsibility and proficiency.

He is one of the youngest if not the youngest in his entire class. I think this has some to do with it. We are hoping a year to mature and review the concepts of the 4th grade will help.

We don’t expect straigh A’s but failing grades and “I forgot” just isn’t acceptable.

Anyone held a kid back this late? We considered it in the 2nd grade but his teacher encouraged us just to continue to work with him, but that hasn’t seemed to work.

Do it, we really wish we would have done it with our daughter.

[Skinny]

Holding a child back (4th grade)

Interesting.

We have 2 girls. Age 12 and 10. The 12 year old was born in September. The 10 year old in August.

My 12 year old had to wait a year to start school based on her birthday. She is the oldest, most mature student in her class. All A’s since day 1.

My 10 year old started school on time. She really has struggled since day 1...especially with math.

We’ve had several talks with teachers about it...not one time has holding her back crossed our minds or been mentioned to us.

Hmmm. Something to think about for sure.

Good luck with your decision.

And about the homework amount. Thankfully my kids school does not issue homework just for extra learning/practice. If the kids do not complete their class work during the allotted time at school, it becomes homework. My youngest was having to finish her work at home almost every day at the beginning of the year...now, I can’t remember the last time she had homework that didn’t take her just a few minutes to complete if she even had any at all. I’m assuming that means she is beginning to grasp things and can finish her work at school. We are about due for a parent/teacher meeting to discuss progress. We will see.


Skinny