Moral issue, word of mouth adoption.

[Junkers88]

Not to get too deep into it but we were asked to "take her" by a lady who's daughter we baby sit 6 days a week for free as it gives our daughter someone to interact with and it's nice to have another child in the house. The mother is young, early 20's, the child is 5. The mother has a hard time making ends meet as the father is currently in prison in Mexico on drug charges. The daughter has from day one ran to the door when I come home and been happy to see me, just like my own daughter is. She's miss-spoke a few times and called me dad and called my wife mom. We've become attached to the child. My wife home schools her with our own 4 year old preparing them for further education and in the last two years we've been doing it we've seen great strides in her reading, writing and comprehension skills. Her mother has no time for her daughter as she's wrapped up in men, her hobbies and..... well everything else. We've spoken to a lawyer and were told to let the child go to an adoption agency. Even though we may be her best bet since her family is not in the picture we were told that there is a less than 10% chance that we'll get her as I'm in the military and I can get "called to move" any time Uncle Sam says so. We fear that she'll get lost in the shuffle and have no chance.

I understand that this may not be the best place to ask for advice but I feel the need to reach out to you all and ask for guidance. I've prayed on it, must admit that God and I are not on the best of terms though.

Richard.

[DRT]

There's no easy answer there brother. The legal side of it is a muddled mess and in the end you have no control. Have you tried talking to the mother about the child's needs and future?

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[Artos]

I don't know Richard, but applaud you for your stand up character on the matter...sticks in my craw your service would even be an issues over a notch in the belt, but I digress.

Man, I would keep up with the knee mails no matter what...He may seem distant & we can walk miles from Him at times, but it only takes one step back in the other direction to find grace. Just hard to see sometimes that it's working.

Anyway, I really got nothing other than suggesting finding an attny that specializes in this arena that I'm sure the members could help with...I don't have a whole lot, but if it helps you get this kid on the right path to finding you guys as the future Mom & Dad, I'll donate what I can.

[acearrow]

I wish you the best and say a prayer for you. The only advise I can give you is consult a different lawyer that specializes in this sort of thing. I would think if the mother truly wants you to "take her", there has got to be some way to arrange it.

[longhorn_cop]

You and your wife sound like angels for helping this young child. Just remember there is a dad who may one day show up wanting his little girl and the mom may be a mess now but one day could come around and want her baby back. Sounds like a tough situation. The best thing would be her joining your family, but getting there without problems may be a tough road.


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[klepdo]

My sister-in-law has helped a few friends do private adoptions in Louisiana. Most of the babies mothers don't want the kids when they are born and the fathers are not in the picture. She translates for the mothers and has to take them to the attorneys office and file it with the state. When the mothers sign over their babies they are all interviewed by the judges to make sure they are not selling the babby and it is finalized. If the mother is serious about giving up the baby and y'all ar willing to take her I would talk to an attorney.

[Kdog]

Would think you could do a private adoption. If the mother and you both agree to it, you just need to find the right person to take you through the proper channels.

[mmoses]

Would think you could do a private adoption. If the mother and you both agree to it, you just need to find the right person to take you through the proper channels.

X2
Private adoptions happen everyday. Find an attorney that does this

[Junkers88]

Feel I need to clarify something here. The mother doesn't want money she just wants "out" of being a mother. ****** me off that she's like this but it is what it is. Her daughter is a great child and has the potential to be amazing with some guidance. We want to be that guidance.

God and I have had several issues in the past, we've never seen eye to eye on anything since my father passed away. Oh I've talked to the Big Guy a few times and he's steered me right a few times but this is bigger than a financial investment or a job choice. This is a lifetime commitment. Right now he's silent on the decision.

Richard.

[Lawhorn]

You MUST find an attorney to help you with this. This process can be difficult and there are nuances that must be dealt with in order for you and your wife to become the child's new parents. This will involve terminating the biological parents parental rights and having a court turn those rights over to you. Get with an attorney and they can help you lay the ground work for proving up your case. PM me if you'd like to talk about this further.


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[lanceodom]

Good work!! I think you are not seeing that God has put you and your wife in this child's life. Now listen to that, get an attorney that deals in this and follow Gods lead.

Best of luck to y'all!

[clintb]

Can you not just file for custody and the mother award you with full custody

[TxDispatcher]

Man I don't know the proper channels for this, but PM Black-n-Red, he may be able to give you some advice

[tradtiger]

Tremendous thing you're contemplating -- life-changing, actually, for your family and the little girl's. Legal guidance should be available to make it happen. Good luck.

[Rchr]

Tough one, you have to have both the mother and fathers agreement to give up custody of the child, even if he is in Mexico and in prison. But an attorney that specializes in this shoud know about that and guide you through.
Being in the military is probably a plus if and when the adoption goes through. Moving away from the POS mother & father would be a plus.