Grandpa advice

[brianlg31]

Y’all probably know that Tyler (son) lives with us. And we are very blessed to get to keep our grandson very often, his mother lives 4 hrs away. Here’s my problem. I find myself bitting my tongue more often than not when it comes to Tyler getting mad at Kale. I’m sure as a dad I got onto Tyler for the same things but as a grandpa I find myself saying “ oh hell what’s it hurtin”. Lol. Now I do admit that as I have aged I have more patience with kids, in fact I adore them.

So do you grandparents say something or keep your mouth shut and let your kids raise their kids the way they see fit?


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[IowaHunter]

Shut zee mouth. You can direct Tyler but need to support his way with Kale.

I get into it with my MIL. She says, “Oh it’s ok ....”. I tell her she coaches my wife not my kids.

[Hooverfb]

Well as the son raising my father's grandson, I can give my perspective haha. Unless my son's really crying, he'll normally wait till he can pull me aside separately to tell me some advice or if he thinks I'm not being patient enough. No grandparent likes seeing their grandson get yelled at, and sometimes it shouldn't happen. You never stop being a dad, you just get to do it less. Teaching your son how to be patient with your grand son, and how to be calm but authoritative, is part of being a grandpa in my opinion. I don't normally punish my son out of anger, but that's because my father taught me that. But I dang sure knew when he was punishing me and angry! Haha

Edit- yup. MIL likes to try to be the parent. Gotta shut that down.

[TKK]

I have 7 grandkids - all live near me and we keep them often. I treat them the same as I did my kids - and guess what? My kids turned out awesome.

If they are in my house then they go by my rules - show respect, have good manners, yes mam and no mam, etc. Kids need structure even though they act like they don't

[Texas Grown]

I shut my mouth when it comes to my grandboys. Not always what I wanna do.


But when I "was" married, my inlaws cause a lot of grief for my then family by try-n to tell me how to run mine. Or bending the rules of my family. Or sometimes just ignoring them all together. It constantly caused tension between us.

[brianlg31]

Thanks. I do do a good job of not saying anything and don’t think I need to. Tyler and I did have a good talk not long ago at the deer Lease. Told him “if I was impatient with you then you should learn from that. Heck my ol man was alcoholic and that is the main reason I didn’t do a lot of drinking when they were younger.” It seemed like there was a light come on so we will see


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[twosixteens]

You gotta let em do it their way.

[Johnny Dangerr]

My grandson at 12 years old pushed me into a pool fully dressed. My Tundra and Cadillac key fobs were in my pocket. I came up yelling at my daughter and son inlaw to beat his *** or I am going to beat all your asses.......

I also remember a 12 year old grand daughter asking me if I would love her forever. I said yes dear - and - I know how to take out a restraining order on you....

My daughter was tough on the kids. We never said a word really.

Our adopted family's child has been a hand full and we have brought her mom to tears trying to get her to put a foot down. Well the child is 15 now and will turn out as it will turn out...

Love them all - and call them out during brain flatulence moments.....

[doright]

I made my mistakes raising a boy and a girl. I will let them make mistakes raising theirs. Unless it is abusive mentally or physically I usually don't say anything. I will make some suggestions every now and then.

[dustoffer]

I made my mistakes raising a boy and a girl. I will let them make mistakes raising theirs. Unless it is abusive mentally or physically I usually don't say anything. I will make some suggestions every now and then.

Good philosophy---

[xman59]

I have 7 grandkids - all live near me and we keep them often. I treat them the same as I did my kids - and guess what? My kids turned out awesome.

If they are in my house then they go by my rules - show respect, have good manners, yes mam and no mam, etc. Kids need structure even though they act like they don't

this is the way i handle it,, my son in law did not like it at first but after a little bit he realized my grand kids love me a lot and can not wait to see me,,,, even if i correct them the old fashioned way......

[myway]

Well as the son raising my father's grandson, I can give my perspective haha. Unless my son's really crying, he'll normally wait till he can pull me aside separately to tell me some advice or if he thinks I'm not being patient enough. No grandparent likes seeing their grandson get yelled at, and sometimes it shouldn't happen. You never stop being a dad, you just get to do it less. Teaching your son how to be patient with your grand son, and how to be calm but authoritative, is part of being a grandpa in my opinion. I don't normally punish my son out of anger, but that's because my father taught me that. But I dang sure knew when he was punishing me and angry! Haha

Edit- yup. MIL likes to try to be the parent. Gotta shut that down.

Pretty great response from a dads perspective!

[Acameron52]

Not your place. I have no kids of my own but my parents would NEVER say anything about how my brother parents his children unless it was something seriously wrong. Even then it wouldn’t be in front of everybody, my dad would pull us off to the side. My grandparents were the same way, they might not have always agreed with what my folks did but they didnt give their opinion.

[M16]

When you come to our house you follow our rules.

[curtintex]

I'd rather them be too tough on them, than not tough enough. The world has too many kids with parents that let them get away with murder. Just remember, you raised him and he'll raise his in much the same way. I remember my dad telling me that I was too tough on my girls....this from the man that would tan your hide for anything out of line. Grandparents are just protective. It's our job to spoil them.