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Old 11-01-2018, 09:48 AM   #1
AZST_bowhunter
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Default Need some advice..

A little background first..

I was born and raised in Houston. I left when I was 22 to join the Navy, after four years my wife (girlfriend at the time) moved to here home state of Arizona and went to school. After finishing our degrees, we moved to Houston because I had a great opportunity to work for my old man and to potentially take over the family business one day.

Now to the issue..

I have been back and working for about 3.5 years, and am really just not happy. Not so much with the job, because I like my job, in the end I see a job as a job. But, in all honesty I kinda miss all of the things I got to do in Arizona, the hunting (cheaper), the hiking, camping, snowboarding, etc. and Houston just isn't the same. Its overly disgusting now, and I really don't want to raise a child here... Well after talking to my wife, we have decided to go back to AZ this upcoming summer. I haven't told my dad yet, I actually fear doing it, one thing I have always hated doing was letting him down. On top of all of this, my first child/his first grandson was born two months ago... I am putting off telling him until after the deer season because I really don't know what to say yet. Any advice on how to break this to him would be great...
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Old 11-01-2018, 09:52 AM   #2
Carpe_diem
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Is it the kind of business your dad could sell and retire to AZ to be near his grandkids?
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Old 11-01-2018, 09:54 AM   #3
Antlers86
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Truth

The fact that he is your dad he should understand. Yeah it will hurt but he should always want what is best for you. I wouldn't hold it in. You never know what tomorrow holds. Take a hunting trip with him and talk. Speak the truth exactly how you feel.

Good luck
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Old 11-01-2018, 09:54 AM   #4
220swift
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Telling him exactly the way you said it to us would be the best way to tell him.
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Old 11-01-2018, 09:55 AM   #5
HogHunter34
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I would think being honest & sharing straight from the heart your dad would be supportive of what’s in the best interest for you, your wife & child. I would think he would recognize potential future issues if you felt forced to stay when not happy & not wanting to raise your child in the Houston area. Just my .02 cents. Best of luck & hope everything works out okay
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:01 AM   #6
bsills
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The sooner you tell him the sooner he can find a qualified replacement. Help him find someone that will do a great job.
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:05 AM   #7
curtintex
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Man, that's a tough one. Personally, if my kids were gonna move across the country and take my grandkid out of my everyday life so they'd have better access to hiking, I'd be crushed. There are plenty of great places outside of Houston to raise a kid. I can assure you that AZ has it's own problems, because every place does. On the other hand, you gotta do what is best for you and your family.

If you "have a job" within the family business, that's one thing. If you are vital to the operations of the family business, then you need to make sure that any transition is smooth and planned out and doesn't put your Dad in a bind. If your Dad has planned his future based on the fact that you were the future of the business, then your decision could make him have to reevaluate his plans. Whatever the case, take him to lunch and talk to him about it sooner rather than later. Good luck.
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:08 AM   #8
DUKFVR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 220swift View Post
Telling him exactly the way you said it to us would be the best way to tell him.
This! I bet you will be surprised how happy he will be for you!
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:24 AM   #9
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I hope you find what you are looking for!
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:30 AM   #10
gingib
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Originally Posted by curtintex View Post
Man, that's a tough one. Personally, if my kids were gonna move across the country and take my grandkid out of my everyday life so they'd have better access to hiking, I'd be crushed. There are plenty of great places outside of Houston to raise a kid. I can assure you that AZ has it's own problems, because every place does. On the other hand, you gotta do what is best for you and your family.

If you "have a job" within the family business, that's one thing. If you are vital to the operations of the family business, then you need to make sure that any transition is smooth and planned out and doesn't put your Dad in a bind. If your Dad has planned his future based on the fact that you were the future of the business, then your decision could make him have to reevaluate his plans. Whatever the case, take him to lunch and talk to him about it sooner rather than later. Good luck.
x2!

But family means everything to me. So I am staying in the country close to my parents and in laws.

Texan born and not leaving here
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Old 11-01-2018, 10:57 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Antlers86 View Post
Truth

The fact that he is your dad he should understand. Yeah it will hurt but he should always want what is best for you. I wouldn't hold it in. You never know what tomorrow holds. Take a hunting trip with him and talk. Speak the truth exactly how you feel.

Good luck
Agree with Anderson
Share a hunting outing with your dad and talk things out. Mention to him how good the outdoors hunting in AZ is and can be (especially if he has never hunted out state ). Speak of all the good things there, ask him whatmhis,plans or for retirement. Ask him "let's do fishing hunting trip to AZ ). Ask him how he feels if you move back there.
I know what you mean about Houston not very good place at present for outdoor adventures, I too lived here most my life. Marines corp, deployment and California college. I now enjoy going out state for my hunts and adventurous trips...New Mexico, Colorado, Arizona, Arkansas etc.... so much fun


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Old 11-01-2018, 10:58 AM   #12
Texas8point
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gingib View Post
x2!



But family means everything to me. So I am staying in the country close to my parents and in laws.



Texan born and not leaving here


Depends on the relationship you have with your dad.
I was blessed to have a wonderful dad who cherished his kids and grandkids.
I would not have moved away unless I absolutely had to.


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Old 11-01-2018, 11:08 AM   #13
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Boy, this hits close to home. From the other side though.
I'm happy for Chris and the opportunity he had to take advantage of, but as Curt said, It has made me rethink my plans for the future.

Also as said, the sooner the better if this what you have decided.
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:20 AM   #14
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Only you and your family can figure it out.

With that said, my wife and I have great relationships with both sets of our parents. We live in semi close proximity to both. Just my opinion, but I grew up with grandparents that lived short driving distances away and we got to spend a lot of time with them. I didn't realize it back then, but that time spent with them was valuable to my life.

I guess what I'm trying to say is your parents won't be around forever. Our parents are in the their late sixties. I couldn't image moving away from them right now just because we want a change of scenery. Sure, work and career situations are completely different. I get that.

Obviously, everyone's situations are different and not everyone has a good relationship with their parents as well. There's really no right or wrong answer.
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:22 AM   #15
sbushee
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Are you living YOUR life for you or for your father?
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:24 AM   #16
gingib
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas8point View Post
Depends on the relationship you have with your dad.
I was blessed to have a wonderful dad who cherished his kids and grandkids.
I would not have moved away unless I absolutely had to.


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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainDave View Post
Only you and your family can figure it out.

With that said, my wife and I have great relationships with both sets of our parents. We live in semi close proximity to both. Just my opinion, but I grew up with grandparents that lived short driving distances away and we got to spend a lot of time with them. I didn't realize it back then, but that time spent with them was valuable to my life.

I guess what I'm trying to say is your parents won't be around forever. Our parents are in the their late sixties. I couldn't image moving away from them right now just because we want a change of scenery. Sure, work and career situations are completely different. I get that.

Obviously, everyone's situations are different and not everyone has a good relationship with their parents as well. There's really no right or wrong answer.
Man this is so true! Country life and seeing my grandparents and hunting/fishing were some of the best years of my life

And yes, ALOT of people don't have parents they get along with sadly.
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:25 AM   #17
TxAg
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Just have him watch Varsity Blues

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Old 11-01-2018, 11:26 AM   #18
TxAg
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At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for your wife and kid...not your dad.
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:36 AM   #19
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I agree just be honest about it. It will not be easy I am sure but if your family is not happy with Houston it will be the best decision for you. Ill be back out in AZ or NV in 6-7 years too. It is tough doing the outdoor things here when you must drive so far to get anywhere such as Big Bend.
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:55 AM   #20
AZST_bowhunter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpe_diem View Post
Is it the kind of business your dad could sell and retire to AZ to be near his grandkids?
His plan is/was to always give the business to my little brother and I. He could always sell it down the road and move near his grandkids. I know he enjoyed Az when he visited before (loved the quail hunting).
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:57 AM   #21
az2tx
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I'm just the opposite
I moved here in 2006 to get away from AZ for the same reasons you want to go back. I've hunted and fished for years and had seen how AZ had went down hill the previous 25 years, getting drawn for a hunt gets harder and harder every year. Areas where I used to deer, javalina quail and dove hunt are all houses now.
I lived in north Scottsdale and the schools were marginal at best.
I did a ton of research before I moved to Texas and ended up in Boerne and I have no regrets.
Their are a lot of places in Texas beside Houston.
FYI I wouldn't live in Houston if they made me the Mayor
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:01 PM   #22
AZST_bowhunter
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Originally Posted by curtintex View Post
Man, that's a tough one. Personally, if my kids were gonna move across the country and take my grandkid out of my everyday life so they'd have better access to hiking, I'd be crushed. There are plenty of great places outside of Houston to raise a kid. I can assure you that AZ has it's own problems, because every place does. On the other hand, you gotta do what is best for you and your family.

If you "have a job" within the family business, that's one thing. If you are vital to the operations of the family business, then you need to make sure that any transition is smooth and planned out and doesn't put your Dad in a bind. If your Dad has planned his future based on the fact that you were the future of the business, then your decision could make him have to reevaluate his plans. Whatever the case, take him to lunch and talk to him about it sooner rather than later. Good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gingib View Post
x2!

But family means everything to me. So I am staying in the country close to my parents and in laws.

Texan born and not leaving here
I wouldn't say I am a "vital employee", he has always wanted to give the company to my brother and I (who still works here). I work in quality, the guy I "replaced" still works in and works in quality (smaller portion of it). I am going to give him a 6 month heads up, if I have to train someone thats not an issue.

I know Az has its own flaws (lived there for almost 3 years), no place is perfect
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:02 PM   #23
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Thanks everyone!
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:03 PM   #24
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My only advice would be to handle it as soon as possible. I would not put off the situation thinking one time would be easier than another.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:04 PM   #25
AZST_bowhunter
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Originally Posted by az2tx View Post
I'm just the opposite
I moved here in 2006 to get away from AZ for the same reasons you want to go back. I've hunted and fished for years and had seen how AZ had went down hill the previous 25 years, getting drawn for a hunt gets harder and harder every year. Areas where I used to deer, javalina quail and dove hunt are all houses now.
I lived in north Scottsdale and the schools were marginal at best.
I did a ton of research before I moved to Texas and ended up in Boerne and I have no regrets.
Their are a lot of places in Texas beside Houston.
FYI I wouldn't live in Houston if they made me the Mayor
Lol, we want to live in a town where we at least have some family. My mom lives in PA, her mom lives in Washington state ( i refuse to move to a place that I will be paying a carbon tax), and her dad lives in vegas. Her grandmother, cousins and uncles are all still in Scottsdale. One of my secret spots is between N Scottsdale and Cave Creek
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:05 PM   #26
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I still hold it against my Brother for moving 3 hours up North to Oklahoma. Bas-tard

That's why I'm the best man in my other Brother's wedding and he isn't.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:14 PM   #27
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That's a tough decision. I've passed up on some great jobs because it would mean moving away from my family. I didn't grow up with any grandparents around and it's great being able to have my parents or in laws hang out with our daughter whenever they want. But you gotta do what is best for your family... getting out of Houston would be my first choice but even the areas around there aren't bad
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:40 PM   #28
curtintex
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jer_james View Post
I still hold it against my Brother for moving 3 hours up North to Oklahoma. Bas-tard

That's why I'm the best man in my other Brother's wedding and he isn't.


My second daughter moved to Austin, just 2.5 hours away, but her three sisters are ****** off!!!!!


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Old 11-01-2018, 01:07 PM   #29
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Every big city has it’s really bad and really good areas. There’s still good places to raise a kid in the Houston area with easy and cheap access to hiking and some great saltwater fishing. Hunting can be pricey but still doable on a budget. Have you considered moving across town instead of across country?

As far as dealing with your dad goes, you should know better than anyone how to approach that. Go with your gut.
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Old 11-01-2018, 01:34 PM   #30
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Tell him as soon as you can. You may be surprised at the response you get.
Life is too short. Live where you will be happiest.

I worked for years in a family business. Leaving was the best thing I ever did business wise. Made the relationship with my dad much better.
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Old 11-01-2018, 01:50 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by AZST_bowhunter View Post
Houston just isn't the same. Its overly disgusting now, and I really don't want to raise a child here.
Born and raised in the H myself, and cant disagree. Still here too. But I dont see this part surprising your pops. I personally get around it by leaving as much as I can, hill country, the coast, south TX, Louisiana, Houston is a pretty good jumping off point, especially with the airports. Be honest with him, you probably know what he cares about most be it grand kids or business.
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Old 11-01-2018, 02:15 PM   #32
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I love Texas. I know there are a lot of other places that I might grow to love, but my heart would be permanently broken if I had to leave Texas. Now, Houston...thatís a whole **** different story. It is a means to an end and as soon as I can cut the cord I am outta here.
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