Prayers and advice needed....pending divorce

[Guest]

Hey guys. I created this anonymous account as I’m not ready to let everyone know what is going on with my personal life and I am a long time member and my wife and I know several people on here. But bottom line is we need some prayers. We have gown apart and just don’t enjoy each other’s company any longer. Actually we can’t stand to be around each other. I don’t believe I have any love for her any longer and she says she still has a little for me but not much at all. We have been to counseling and it didn’t help. We both agree it’s time to talk to a divorce attorney and are thinking it would be in our best interest to do a non contested divorce. We agree we will split everything 50/50 including custody and visitation to our child. We are thinking the every other week schedule would be best. I will pay her the standard 20% of my income in child support even though we are doing the 50/50 custody as she will need it. We both truly feel we will be better parents separated than married.

My questions are have any of you done the 50/50 custody and visitation? If so what schedule did you use?

Any of you do a non contested divorce with a child? He is a preteen. We both feel like there is no point in wasting a ton of money in a nasty divorce battle when we are both in agreement on things. We both have said if the custody and visitation is not 50/50 we will just continue to live together miserably vs loosing our child. When I meet her she was going thru a horrible horrible custody battle with her first husband over her older son and nether one of us are willing to do that.

In the end, what I truly wish could happen is somehow God work a miracle and bring us back together where we love each other again and we enjoy each other’s company, but I honestly don’t think that’s going to happen. But hey sometimes unanswered prayers, while they seem so hard to understand at the time, can end up being wonderful.

[Skinny]

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[glen]

Sounds to me like the two of you should be able to sit down and decide what is best or your family situation. Spend some time communicating with each other and write it down. You could then take it in to an attorney and get it finalized. I would imagine in yalls situation you guys will do what is best for the child and work together.

[Joe H]

For the child support and custody my ex and I did the same. We did one week with me and one with her. It worked well and we both were flexible for special events or anything like that.

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[flywise]

It's likely an attorney will throw a wrench in your plans. My mother and father had it all worked out and just needed it written up moms attorney wanted to scrw it all up.

[miket]

Sorry to hear it. Best of luck to yall.

[friscopaint]

We did non contested divorce and came up with own terms. If going 50/50 then go for alternating years on tax returns if it helps. I had 2 kids, she kept one for taxes and I kept other one. As preteen they will soon have their own busy life, friends, school, etc...and won't be such a big deal. Keeping it decent helps everyone involved. Also, if 50/50 then split medical insurance premiums for the child if possible. There will be plenty of things down the road, car, insurance etc....to be worked out....

[Jkkj]

If u truly wish that God would work a miracle then let him work, stop opposing Him by entertaining a divorce. God will definitely show up if u are willing to humble yourselves, give up your selfish pride and serve one another. Love can come back. Prayers up.

[friscopaint]

keep in mind too, if you are paying 100% of medical insurance that comes off your income prior to calculation of the 20% as does any union dues and since I'm a fireman and not in social security my retirement contributions came off income calculation as well.

[Anonymous1]

If u truly wish that God would work a miracle then let him work, stop opposing Him by entertaining a divorce. God will definitely show up if u are willing to humble yourselves, give up your selfish pride and serve one another. Love can come back. Prayers up.

That’s part of the problem. We are both way to hard headed.

[Artos]

That’s part of the problem. We are both way to hard headed.

Both Too hard headed to recall why you fell in love & asked her to marry / say yes?? I would be willing to wager your marriage is worth fighting for.

Prayers for you guys...

<><

[Anonymous1]

Both Too hard headed to recall why you fell in love & asked her to marry / say yes?? I would be willing to wager your marriage is worth fighting for.

Prayers for you guys...

<><

While I know I’m not perfect and have a lot of things I need to change about myself she has gotten extremely lazy. She no longer works, on the weekends she stays in bed all day. I’m talking about only getting out long enough to go to the bathroom or a snack and then back to bed. During the week she gets up and takes son to school, in her jp's mind you, and as soon as she gets back home it’s back to bed to watch tv or play on her tablet. If I ask her to do anything she yells at me saying I’m controlling her. I honestly don’t know how she is going to support herself if the divorce happens. She won’t be able to live off my 20% alone.

[friscopaint]

While I know I’m not perfect and have a lot of things I need to change about myself she has gotten extremely lazy. She no longer works, on the weekends she stays in bed all day. I’m talking about only getting out long enough to go to the bathroom or a snack and then back to bed. During the week she gets up and takes son to school, in her jp's mind you, and as soon as she gets back home it’s back to bed to watch tv or play on her tablet. If I ask her to do anything she yells at me saying I’m controlling her. I honestly don’t know how she is going to support herself if the divorce happens. She won’t be able to live off my 20% alone.

She's not supposed to live off your 20%.....good chance you will have the kid 100% of the time before long....I couldn't take what you described either.

[HCGedge3]

Prayers for you and your wife and kids. Keep the Faith in LORD!

[BrandonA]

Prayers for both. It’s hard and I know what you’re going through. The better y’all get along the better everybody will be