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Weddings? Who pays????

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    #76
    splits

    got married ten years back. we split. but we also planned everything from napkins to honeymoon. sat and talked with everyone involved and got a plan, price, place.... etc and figured what we needed and what was reasonable. good luck and keep the peace.

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      #77
      You need to make that decision. If the brides family doesn't have the money then sit down with them......It sounds like you made your mind up already, man up and tell them...

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        #78
        Been married 10 years and my wife's family paid for the majority of the wedding. That being said it was offered by her parents as she was their only daughter and the baby of the family. Total cost of the wedding was around 30k and to be honest it was more my in-laws doing that anything as they wanted what they "felt" was best for their daughters wedding.

        I think all and all it comes down to what all parties involved can afford and want to contribute. My parents could have easily contributed more money however they said we're giving you "x" amount of money for the wedding so use it as you see fit weather it's for rehearsal, pictures, food etc... My wife and I didn't get mad when they said that as it was our wedding, and we were happy they were able to contribute something.

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          #79
          My problem is going to be my wife goes way over the top for things, which comes from her mom, so my daughters wedding, if she gets married (she is 4yrs old) will be so over the top it might put me in the poor house.....

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            #80
            Is only her family and friends going to wedding? or will your family and friends be there also? I would say both families should split the meal, venue and beverages. The over the top stuff should be negotiable.
            Last edited by JeffK; 09-30-2019, 08:02 AM.

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              #81
              Originally posted by Dale Moser View Post
              Weddings are stupid.

              I'll get my son through college debt free, and I'll pay for a PARTY when he gets married. He can figure out the rest. I won't spend 10k plus for some young lady to try to live out a fairy tale fantasy.
              *50k......just make sure shes chasing you and not the big wedding.

              good luck OP

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                #82
                I say in todays world I'd split it but I'd **** sure have a say so in how it was spent. They want to go all nuts and stupid just so they can put it on youtube and be cool......uh, no!

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                  #83
                  IF you pay? You should have input and a say of what/when/where/and cost! Do not allow her family to ask for a "blank check" with your money!

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                    #84
                    I think the right thing to do is pay what you can. It's also your son getting married that day. Very important day for both him and your future daughter inlaw. I wouldn't do anything to jeapordize that. I've got both a son and daughter and I have pretty much taken wedding cost into account for bof the two of dem.

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                      #85
                      Out of the last 20 weddings me and the wife have photographed in the last yearish I think 16 where paid old fashion, 3 were a mix of old fashion and coverage by the bride and groom, and 1 was like what your soon to be inlaws are describing.

                      We got married a couple years ago and it was 80% old fashion way and 20% us chipping in.

                      Lots of factors though and a sticky situation. However if you are chipping in on non traditional stuff as the grooms side you better have a huge say on what happens!


                      Just remember the order of importance on that day Is the Bride, Her Mom, your Wife, and probably a random aunt somewhere on the brides side and then the Groom.. Maybe.. Lol Good luck

                      Also I have never seen a Cover Charge at a wedding
                      Last edited by 150class; 09-30-2019, 08:07 AM.

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                        #86
                        Originally posted by CEO View Post
                        Seems a lot of times weddings are for the bride and the parents, groom just gets pulled along. If the bride and her family are being reasonable I don't see an issue with splitting the bill. If she's trying to go nuts on a wedding for whatever reason I would say no and probably have a talk with my son about what he's in for.
                        Yep. If it's gonna be for Mom to show off and daughter thinks she needs this big princess fantasy wedding then your on your own.
                        Thank goodness my oldest daughter wants no part of all that frilly waste of money. I told her I'd rather make a down payment on her first house and she's all in.

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                          #87
                          They’re trying to cheap out. I got married a few years ago and her parents paid for most everything except flowers and rehearsal dinner I believe. My sister just got married recently and my parents paid for most everything except the rehearsal dinner. take that for what you will..

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                            #88
                            Originally posted by 150class View Post

                            Also I have never seen a Cover Charge at a wedding
                            I dont like going to weddings to begin with. If one has a cover charge, I can guarantee I wont be there.

                            People have lost their ***** mind over the cost of some of these weddings. I have three daughters and I am trying my hardest to encourage them to elope and we will have a celebration when they return.

                            Coach's advice is not about the financial aspect, but its valuable info nonetheless.

                            [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGIap2_tmng"]Mike Leach on weddings - YouTube[/ame]

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                              #89
                              I paid for my own wedding. My parents don't have a lot of extra and my wife's parents had already paid for an extravagant wedding on her 1st marriage. This kept the decisions between my wife and I which in turn kept the drama of wedding choices to a minimum.

                              If you are going to split the cost, you need to have some say so on the total amount budgeted. Don't get used as an open check by your future DIL and/or her family. There's no way I could let the DIL and her family start making decisions on how i spend my money. But I'm a little more aggressive than most when other people start spending my money.

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                                #90
                                Typically, the invitation is worded that the brides family is the one inviting the guests. If you do decide to pitch in, make sure that the invitation says something along the lines of "Mr and Mrs (FIL Name) and Mr and Mrs (Your Name) request the pleasure of your company at the Marriage of (Bride and Groom), that way the guests are aware that both families are hosting the wedding.

                                It may sound tacky, but don't let the brides family take credit for hosting the whole thing if they didn't.

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