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Old 01-20-2020, 01:15 PM   #1
JBJTX81
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Default Am I wrong about this situation?

My wife had an ENT appt today Monday 1/20/2020. She texts me saying she has having her tonsils removed on Thursday 1/23/2020. I'm like...WHOA do you have cancer or something? She said no but the doc is available then and said lets get them out. These are the same tonsils she has had for 32 years. She has had frequent strep, snoring issues, etc. but nothing crazy or life threatening. I want to be supportive of her and I don't care if she has them removed or not but 2 days notice is a bit much. I'm supposed to traveling for work an not even returning home from work until Wed night. We have a 5 months old baby and 8 year old daughter. I've read horror stories about adults getting their tonsils removed as well.

Am I over reacting here? Should I just be ok with this and say ok...I'll be home Wed night, I'll drop you off Thursday and wait until your done and figure out everything with the kiddos and work until you are recovered???
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:17 PM   #2
AntlerCollector
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I don’t think she’s asked your permission








I’m still not sure what your problem is with it.
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:21 PM   #3
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If the Doc thinks she needs it then do it. Lots of older people have them removed, it’s not convenient but can really help your wife.
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:22 PM   #4
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I think he is really saying I have a 5 month old daughter and my wife will be out of pocket for a day. lol
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:23 PM   #5
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Yes.


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Old 01-20-2020, 01:24 PM   #6
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Yep
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:25 PM   #7
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I'd at least get a 2nd opinion, but that's just me.

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Old 01-20-2020, 01:28 PM   #8
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I think you should stop reading horror stories about it and realize those are outliers. Most of the time everything goes fine. Am I don’t see it being a huge, long, drawn out recovery. It’s tonsils. She will be able to use her arms, legs, etc so taking care of kiddos after a day of recovery wouldn’t be a huge problem for me... But maybe that’s just me...
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:37 PM   #9
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Timing could be better for sure but it is what it is at this point.

My wife had her tonsils out 2 years ago, so early 40s, and the recovery is no joke. She was absolutely miserable for days. I would not plan for a day or 2 and her being back up and running.
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:38 PM   #10
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She needs them out if "She has had frequent strep, snoring issues, etc"..

It is not unusual to have a "quick" schedule surgery if that is when Dr. is avaialable….at least it is not hunting season. She should be back to serving you after the weekend

You get to be the caregiver for a bit but in the long run, it will so much better for her. Strep is not fun and takes a time to recover...imagine that issue being gone from her life.
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Old 01-20-2020, 01:47 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigharge View Post
I'd at least get a 2nd opinion, but that's just me.

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This..

And do not listen to most of these guys. Anyone who simply take what a doctor says and runs with it is a fool. Or they are in a slim minority that has a very good doctor they trust.

IMO way too many doctors rush people in and out to make more money.

Anyone who thinks you're a fool for asking questions instead of just rolling with any procedure without asking questions is pretty dumb.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:04 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nursejenn View Post
I think you should stop reading horror stories about it and realize those are outliers. Most of the time everything goes fine. Am I don’t see it being a huge, long, drawn out recovery. It’s tonsils. She will be able to use her arms, legs, etc so taking care of kiddos after a day of recovery wouldn’t be a huge problem for me... But maybe that’s just me...


Spoken like someone who hasn’t had their tonsils removed as an adult. I did and it was a horrible recovery. Would I do it again if given the chance? Absolutely, but I wouldn’t expect her to be taking care of the kids “after a day”
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:09 PM   #13
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Spoken like someone who hasn’t had their tonsils removed as an adult. I did and it was a horrible recovery. Would I do it again if given the chance? Absolutely, but I wouldn’t expect her to be taking care of the kids “after a day”


I had ALL of my wisdom teeth CUT out of my jaw at age 40 and it was horrible and I didn’t eat solid food for days. However it didn’t stop me from taking care of my kids or doing what had to be done.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:10 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by nursejenn View Post
I had ALL of my wisdom teeth CUT out of my jaw at age 40 and it was horrible and I didn’t eat solid food for days. However it didn’t stop me from taking care of my kids or doing what had to be done.


Wisdom teeth removal was about 1,000x easier than tonsils for me.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:10 PM   #15
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It HURTS as an adult. With a baby, y'all need a few weeks to get everything in order.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:11 PM   #16
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Just something to consider, ENTs are normally slammed non stop (year round) so if this slot is available and the surgery is needed. Might want to jump on it now.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:13 PM   #17
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Her choice. If she is comfortable with her decision, then roll with it & support her. May want to suggest a 2nd opinion, but if she is set in doing it then back her up.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:17 PM   #18
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Seems like a pretty impulsive reaction/move to do it so soon just because he's available.

I wouldn't have scheduled a procedure on the spot for two days out without checking our schedules and whatnot.

I would try to convince her to push it back a week or two so that you both have time to prepare to get the ducks in a row. Otherwise, support her but let her know you're no help until you get home Wednesday.


And to be clear...I have no problem with her wanting it done/doing it. Getty up and go as far as that goes. I would have issues with it being dropped on my plate like that and the time frame in which it was done.

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Old 01-20-2020, 02:18 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kae006 View Post
Wisdom teeth removal was about 1,000x easier than tonsils for me.


Great! I’m not getting into a ******* contest with you over it. All I’m saying is mine were impacted, had to be cut out of the bone and I had to be completely put under. The recovery was awful. I was spitting blood for 24 hours and I couldn’t eat solid for for almost a week. I have a family member who have had tonsils out as an adult and I still fail to see how having tonsils cut out, wisdom teeth removed, etc affect day to day activities that HAVE to be done, like taking care of kids, etc.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:18 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayB View Post
She needs them out if "She has had frequent strep, snoring issues, etc"..

It is not unusual to have a "quick" schedule surgery if that is when Dr. is avaialable….at least it is not hunting season. She should be back to serving you after the weekend

You get to be the caregiver for a bit but in the long run, it will so much better for her. Strep is not fun and takes a time to recover...imagine that issue being gone from her life.
I'll agree with this...and avoid arguing about anything else with the other comments I don't have to live with any of you, so I won't waste time arguing witchy'all
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:19 PM   #21
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You’re the one that decided to get married . Embrace the BS
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:23 PM   #22
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It is never going to be convenient.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:24 PM   #23
kae006
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Never mind, not worth it.

OP, I wouldn’t take issue with the short notice, but could definitely see some benefit in scheduling it at a time more convenient where maybe you could have a M-I-L or someone around to help with the kids.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:32 PM   #24
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Spoken like someone who hasn’t had their tonsils removed as an adult. I did and it was a horrible recovery. Would I do it again if given the chance? Absolutely, but I wouldn’t expect her to be taking care of the kids “after a day”
This^^^
Not an easy recovery for sure, but most likely needed to solve those issues you stated. She should probably have the soft palate trimmed also at same time if she is having breathing/snoring issues. Otherwise, after going thru this, she will not let anybody else back in there again. Its that bad!
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:36 PM   #25
BJ DUPLECHAIN
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Yes, you are wrong about the situation.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:40 PM   #26
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Man that's tough. I've had both my tonsils taken out and wisdom teeth cut out as an adult and you cant compare the recoveries. Tonsils are no joke. I would plan on a week minimum until things are back to normal. If you have kids that young you will need to take off work for at least a few days or have a grandparent come in town. I was back to normal after wisdom teeth by that evening, tonsils was close to a week. First couple of days are BRUTAL. If this was me or my wife i would want this planned and scheduled way ahead of time.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:41 PM   #27
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What kind of ice cream does she like
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:41 PM   #28
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I don’t see the issue but have never been through it. With that said, the ones that have are probably giving better responses to your question
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:44 PM   #29
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Wife had hers removed at age 35.....best thing she ever did for sore throats and infections......she was down a few days but was able to get back to normal fairly quickly.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:49 PM   #30
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If it were my wife I would expect that she had already made arrangements for someone to keep the kiddo.
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Old 01-20-2020, 02:54 PM   #31
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You are over reacting here. Man up, support and care for her.
I had surgery for a hernia the following morning from seeing the surgeon because he had a last minute opening. Specialist scheduling can be a bear so let her do it.
They gave my 16yo some syrup with lidocaine and codeine in it that helped manage the pain. Out on Tuesday and ate Thanksgiving dinner Thursday.
Gary

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Old 01-20-2020, 03:04 PM   #32
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And after all the injuries, surgeries and recoveries I've had her by my side through I have jumped on any opportunity to be the man who was there when she needed me. Whether wisdom teeth or appendicitis or even just the flu. That's what a husband and dad does.

Gary
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:08 PM   #33
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Im 50 and still have mine....whats the point of taking them out?
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:15 PM   #34
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I've got two close relatives who had them removed as adults. Their recovery took longer than a day. Full recovery was more like two weeks.

My sister in law cried like a baby it hurt her so bad. My father in law (very tough dude), handled like a man but needed a few days.

They were on liquid pain killers because they couldn't swallow pills. That made pain management more difficult.

The short notice wouldn't bother me some much, as long as I could put together a plan to take her being out of commission for a few days in motion.
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:25 PM   #35
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Expect a recovery time of 10-14 days. All those days, she’ll be miserable.
It’s her prerogative.
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:29 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverRat1 View Post
This..

And do not listen to most of these guys. Anyone who simply take what a doctor says and runs with it is a fool. Or they are in a slim minority that has a very good doctor they trust.

IMO way too many doctors rush people in and out to make more money.

Anyone who thinks you're a fool for asking questions instead of just rolling with any procedure without asking questions is pretty dumb.
I'm with this guy! Plus I've reached an age to see plenty of friends and family who have/are still suffering through side effects and unintended consequences of modern medicine practitices. I generally sound belligerent when it comes to medicine which isn't quite the case, the doc just gonna have to be able to explain the benefits AND any and all side effects or unintended consequences before I'll do so much as take a pill much less have a body part removed or altered!
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:33 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverRat1 View Post
This..

And do not listen to most of these guys. Anyone who simply take what a doctor says and runs with it is a fool. Or they are in a slim minority that has a very good doctor they trust.

IMO way too many doctors rush people in and out to make more money.

Anyone who thinks you're a fool for asking questions instead of just rolling with any procedure without asking questions is pretty dumb.
This makes sense.
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Old 01-20-2020, 03:57 PM   #38
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Finally a Doctor is offering efficient medical services and everyone is freaking out.
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:07 PM   #39
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Better to do it sooner than later. Take the opportunity that's been given. I had mine taken out as a kid and remember having several days of recovery. I'm sure it's worse as an adult.
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:09 PM   #40
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Dr has a boat note due. Help a fellow out.
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:20 PM   #41
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I had tonsils along with a lot of other things done as an adult- 35 yrs old- it hurt, it sucked, but I don't get sick or snore now. Worth it- To me she was telling you she is having the procedure done. Its kinda like me about to have back surgery- its not my wife's back and its not her decision- kinda like when I had my tonsils removed.
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:45 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glen View Post
I had tonsils along with a lot of other things done as an adult- 35 yrs old- it hurt, it sucked, but I don't get sick or snore now. Worth it- To me she was telling you she is having the procedure done. Its kinda like me about to have back surgery- its not my wife's back and its not her decision- kinda like when I had my tonsils removed.
What kind of sick or what kept getting sore?


And FTR my earlier post had zero to do with getting them removed or not. It was simply saying a guy who doesn't know should ask lots of questions before having a procedure done. Some here act like he's dumb for simply asking questions trying to figure it out.
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:48 PM   #43
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She sounds like she's miserable and wants to feel better. I would do the exact same thing as frequent strep and snoring issues can cause way worse complications later on in life. Spending a week taking care of her is a lot better than having to take care of multiple people in your household passing around strep year after year.
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:53 PM   #44
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why was she at an ENT? Was it for issues with Tonsils? I think what OP is stating is that the wife may have occasional issues but it was not life or death and maybe there is a rush to take them out simply due to an opening with Doctor. Maybe they dont need to come out at all? I would ask the Dr why the rush. Ask why they have to come out at all.

if it is not life or death and they need to come out, Planning a good time based on all schedule is probably a better route to go. Lots of ENTs out there so couldn't care less about his schedule.
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:56 PM   #45
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It’ll go deeper after they’re gone
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:57 PM   #46
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It’ll go deeper after they’re gone
Bwahahahaa!!!
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Old 01-20-2020, 04:59 PM   #47
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She'll be fine. Yes you may be over reacting a little. It aint open heart surgery. She'll be out in 45 minutes.
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Old 01-20-2020, 05:01 PM   #48
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Reoccurring strep is a good sign to get them pulled.
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Old 01-20-2020, 05:02 PM   #49
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If it needs to be done it needs to be done. But if she hasn’t continuously had strep the last 3 months I no reason of having to do it in 72hrs


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Old 01-20-2020, 05:05 PM   #50
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I went to an ENT several years ago at my wife's request due to loud snoring issues. ENT told me I had large tonsils, but said there was only a 50/50 chance it would make any improvement in my snoring.
He also told me that as an adult I would have the worst sore throat of my life that would last 2-3 weeks. He told me I would want to come up to his office every day during that healing period and kick his butt daily. He said he thought tne cons outweighed the pros in his mind. Needless to say I chose not to get them removed.
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