A Father's Dilemma

[Texasredneck]

Hey guys & gals need some advice and maybe even a few prayers. My daughter is about to make me go nuts, she is chasing a guy. She is 22 years old and can make her own choices in life and I know we raised her right.Now don't get me wrong, that might be the way of things now days but, I'm old school and think it should be the other way around. Well to start off with I have not had the pleasure of meeting this young man and that bugs me just a bit. Then she goes and see's him all the time or at least she was when he was here in Dallas then he went to Mississippi for the holidays to visit his family and while he was up there he wrecked his truck and yes he is ok but, apparently he was drinking. Well he's decided to just stay there. Well now for the other part, last month my daughter had some time off and yep, you guessed it she took a road trip to see him. Well some time after she got back she found out he was cheating on her. Ok to me that's the straw that broke the camels back. Fast forward to now and we'll they are talking again and he wants her to come there for a visit or worse maybe even move there. Ok so here is my dilemma, when he was here in Dallas, everytime he was supposed to come out here something always came up. She even went out there one evening to pick him up for dinner, he had to go and do something else. Now when I was dating my wife or any other young lady I always made the attempt to meet the parents.
And this guy, well not getting a chance to meet him well ....being a father you can just imagine how nuts I am. Yes, I have tried my best to explain to her as her Father but, also as a guy who was that age at one time. Now I know my daughter is a smart young lady and we raised her right.
So my question is this, what is a father to do??
I will always be there for her even in the worst of times, that's what we do right?? So do I just let her go and catch her when she falls or continue to try warn her off?? Sorry for the long read, any advice is greatly appreciated.

[MySRT8U]

I'm not a father, but she's 22. Time to let her fly or fall on her own. Imho.


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[Fargus]

Unfortunately at this point you have done all the rasin' you can do. Be there for her when/if she falls.

Prayers go out to you

[ON THE EDGE]

Long read, yes. Use some punctuation man . But in answer to your question, it is obvious this dude is a piece of trash. But a heart turns a blind eye. If you raised her right, eventually she will see it for what it is. For "love" she is going to experience some heartbreak. Pray over her everyday and hope that she will come through this without any permanent scars. Time is the only real answer. You can worry, drive her away, be there when she falls, but you won't know until it's done. Waiting is the hard part. PRAY over her every day!! Good luck man.

[Shane]

My daughter turned 22 today. If I were in your shoes with that same situation (and assuming I have a good relationship with my daughter), I would have a talk with her to share my concerns. I would make it clear to her that it's not my job to make decisions for her, because she's a grownup now. But because I love her more than anything in the world, I can't sit back and say nothing when I see all those red flags. I would tell her that I realize what I have to say may cause her pain to hear, but I love her enough to have a difficult conversation. Then I'd tell her about the specific reasons that I have concerns and what it could (likely) mean for her if she ends up in a relationship with the wrong guy. Lastly, I'd tell her that I love her no matter what she decides, and I'll always be there for her. I'd do everything I could to make sure I communicated to her that I wasn't trying to run her life. But even though she's a grown woman I am still her dad and I love her more than life itself, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't speak up about serious issues and concerns. I'd hope she'd do the same for me as well.

Then I'd pray and hope she made good decisions.

[Possum Fat]

Gotta let em make mistakes sometimes man.

[Robertt]

My daughter is 18 and Bipolar. When she takes her med's her emotions are stable. When she does not take them all bets are off. She does not live at home so we can't make sure she takes her med's every day. She has made some bad decisions and some good ones. Every day is an adventure. Mom and I have decided she is 18 and we can't make her do something. She is just going to have to learn the hard way. Does not stop me from voicing my opinion.

[Texasredneck]

My daughter is 18 and Bipolar. When she takes her med's her emotions are stable. When she does not take them all bets are off. She does not live at home so we can't make sure she takes her med's every day. She has made some bad decisions and some good ones. Every day is an adventure. Mom and I have decided she is 18 and we can't make her do something. She is just going to have to learn the hard way. Does not stop me from voicing my opinion.

Prayers sent for you, and yes I have voiced my opinion and sometimes it sinks in and others well not so much.

[Texasredneck]

Sorry about the punctuation, fat fingers.
And I fully understand that she has to make her own mistakes and just be there when she needs me. I have sat her down and voiced my concerns many times and sometimes she takes what I tell her to heart but, other times well not so much. I have been very blunt about how guys this age will act or say to get what they want. And we'll her answer is " jeshhhh dad you're just old and not all guys are like that" yes this is true but, at the same time I warn her of a wolf in sheep's clothing. And every day I say a prayer for both of my children. I am afraid that if I continue to push on the subject it may just make it worse. I knew being a parent was tough but, dealing with young ladies ......God help us all.

[justletmein]

Yeah sounds like he's just playing around, nothing you can do. Sometimes when we raise our kids right we have to understand that they can end up unaware that the rest of the world wasn't raised right. She's going to take some lumps to learn the way other people are unfortunately.

[Texasredneck]

Yeah sounds like he's just playing around, nothing you can do. Sometimes when we raise our kids right we have to understand that they can end up unaware that the rest of the world wasn't raised right. She's going to take some lumps to learn the way other people are unfortunately.

Yep!

[JayB]

Pray something along these lines... Lord any relationship not from you, cause it to fall away and increase all relationships that are from you. Then you have to stand back and let Him work. Sometimes you may be surprised at which relationship He wants developed.

I am sure I am hunting, or thinking about hunting.

[Meatcutter]

kick him to curb

[JayB]

Ha...all men are in full rut all the time. Some just control it better than others. Been that same way for as long as there has been fig leaves.

I am sure I am hunting, or thinking about hunting.

[Bh_liberty]

When I was 22 if my dad tried to talk me out of something that's exactly what I did. That said my daughters not even 2 yet but I'm not looking forward to being in your shoes good luck man. Prayers sent


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