New baby and family issues?

[Sika]

Your wife is right.

[mooch]

Both sides of our family live in the San Antonio area and fortunately they get along but we still try to split time evenly. If we spent last trip with my side, we spend this trip with her side. We also alternate holidays...thanksgiving with my side and Christmas with hers, and then flip it for next year. We try to keep it fair.

We have a 3 month old and live in midland so I understand the traveling part. The way we see it - the traveling part can get old and difficult but our folks aren't getting any younger. We make the effort to come down every chance we get even if it means long windshield time for a short visit time. Some times we make that drive every weekend of the month.


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[Todd-ty729]

Don't sweat the baby's "schedule"

They will readjust soon enough.

Go to Dallas and visit them!

[KDinTX]

My wife says we should stop trying to please everyone and do what makes us happy.

This right here, you will drive yourself crazy trying to please everyone, even family. At some point it becomes more about YOUR family, wife kid etc. The rest are now relatives.

Similar situations for us. For years before our daughter was born we made trips back and forth every other weekend to Tyler from Waco area, after she was born we have not been near as much and her dad moved local to us to be closer after her parents divorce. Her mother refuses to leave Tyler area since she has a BF now that lives there. Not our problem and her BF influences her coming here to see us and her grand daughter. She goes without seeing her for her own reasons for long periods of time, that's her loss. We don't loose sleep over it anymore. My folks are local but spend more time going on cruises and with the sister and BIL, who they support quite a bit.

Take care of your family, everyone else's opinions don't matter that much for your household.

[hopedale]

You're only responsible for your happiness.

Everyone else needs to be an adult and not put any pressure on your small family.

Congrats on the new edition.

[bobby314]

Can't please them all. If my wife had to be around my parents as much as I have to be around hers, she would have left me years ago lol. But my parents had a son, so they get it.

[CJ776]

People will be people. They get set in their ways. Even with all their sage advice the gparents sometimes act like ticked off little kids. Both sets treat us and baby awesome so can't complain too much. Try to accommodate you parents in Dallas. The greatest gift you can give grandparents is to live and have grand babies close to them.

[TMC50]

We have a similar situation. Her parents live in the same town and are going to be our neighbors in a couple months. Her parents watch my kids during the week and are just always around them.

My parents are 3 hours away and come a couple times a year to see the kids.

Our parents get along and interact well but I can tell it drives my mom nuts how attached the kids are to her parents but tough luck because we are settled here now.

We do go to my parents twice a year. Normally I’m the summer and around Christmas. I’m a coach so we have to work around my schedule more than my wife’s

[JHT]

Congrats on your baby.

Like the others have said listen to your wife.

Trying to make them all happy won't work and it will do nothing but create stress between you and your wife.

This isn't going away either. They will have to hang out at birthdays and graduations and other events for your son. When you have to get together let her deal with her parents and you deal with yours.

Drinking helps too.

[14JKURX]

Congratulations on the birth of your child.
Here is some of what the Bible tells us about marriage.

Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."

Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

[Shane]

When your parents come to town, spend all your time with them without your inlaws. Your inlaws see you guys all the time. And don't worry so much about your baby's schedule. Go to Dallas every now and then to visit. It won't hurt the baby.

Here's what has worked very well for us, regarding holidays and inlaws....

We spend Thanksgiving with wife's family. We spend Christmas with mine.

Next year, we switch and spend Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with wife's family.

We let both sets of parents know that was how we were going to do it during the first year of our marriage. We had a small amount of complaining once or twice early on, but we just told them, "Sorry, but we have our plan." And we've stuck to it for the last 27 years. Works great.

This year, our daughter is living in Chandler, AZ and won't get enough time off at Christmas to come to Texas. We're going to go visit her. Whichever set of parents is on the schedule for Christmas is just going to have to do without, I guess. We'll visit them before or after Christmas though.

[quackadikt]

Similar situation on a larger scale.

We had our first March of 17. We llive in Las Cruces, NM. In-laws live in Pipe Creek. My family is in South Carolina. Guess which grandparents get to see their grandkid more? We got to Texas several times a year because we can hop in the truck and be there in 8 hrs. My family gets ****** that we see the in-laws more than them. We attempt to make a trip home every year, but that's not enough for them. My mom doesn't particularly like my MIL.

We've taken the approach that Smart had. Told everyone that there would be no going to this family or that for Christmas...they could all come to our house if they want to see the grandkid, or they could miss out. Same for the rest of the year. We'll make our annual pilgrimage to SC, but other than that, we need them to come see us. We've also told my family that they're going to have to start traveling...It's a heck of a lot easier for them to get on a plane and fly this way(and cheaper) than it is for us to fly that way with a kid. Not to mention, we basically have a petting zoo at our house, so when we travel, we not only have the expense of traveling(about to be 3 tickets plus a rental car vs. their solo ticket and no rental car), but also of paying someone to house sit for us. My folks still haven't started traveling out here, and it's really gotten on my nerves, but it's their loss.

[Snowflake Killa]

Do y'all live with your in-laws? Why care if they get along

[Dave]

Make your wife and boy priority number 1. All the rest will sort itself out.

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[JayB]

I have made the drive from DFW to OK City to spend 1 hour with my grand daughter....that's what grand parents do.

Also, when the kids are small, its easier to have everyone meet 1 time for a holiday like Christmas. Then the GParents can determine if they can stay another day before driving back to Dallas.

The wife is right, as usual.

Your statement to ALL G Parents; "Here is our plan. We will be doing this, on this day, hope ya'll can make it"

The grown folks will figure it out.