How do you cope with the loss of a Father

[Tony Pic]

Sorry for your loss. My Dads 10 year anniversary just passed a few days ago, so I am feeling it also. What kept me going was all the good times and the memories we had together. Whenever I felt a little down I called my brother and we spoke about Pop. I did some crying alone in the beginning, but life went on. I could have made the decision to stay dwelling about what once was...or move on. I moved on. I have the memories no one could ever take away. Teach your kids well and never let them forget who Poppa or Grandma were.
My condolences.

[deerwatcher51]

So very sorry for your loss. My dad has been gone for nearly 30 years and I still miss him.

[tommy1005]

How do you cope with the loss of a Father

I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my dad 4 years ago this September. He started me hunting at age 5 with a 410 snake charmer stomping around where we dove hunted, then a 243 for deer at 7. Losing him was extremely difficult, but for me, remembering all the conversations we had driving back and forth to the lease his last couple of years is what has helped me.

He was my got to for questions about life and how to be a Christian husband and father, and I was lost for a couple of years, luckily I have some great friends and hunting buddies that would drag me to the ranch.

My dad was 66, and what it really made me do is focus on what matters in life and to enjoy the time we’re given. Since then I’ve made a commitment to do some different hunts atleast once a year. So far I’ve hunted mule deer in Colorado twice, antelope with the bow, bear with the bow, and in 2 weeks I’m going to Africa with my wife and 7 year old son. I’ve also been able to go to Kenya for what will be the 4th time in 3 years for mission trips, something I don’t know if I would’ve had the courage to do before.

I think keeping his memory alive in our kids is also important. My sisters 2 kids weren’t born yet when my dad died, her son was born 2 weeks after my dad died. Those kids can look at a picture and tell you that’s Daddy T though.

Life is short, live and love your family and friends like there’s no tomorrow because it’s not guaranteed.

My dad’s passing also started my wife on our debt free journey and we paid off everything but the house in about 13 months and the house will be paid off in another 5. God is good in all things and all times and it’s amazing what we can do now that we’re out from under the weight of the debt.

[N.DaWoods]

Sorry for your loss. I experienced losing my father who taught me to hunt and fish at age 15, 23 years ago. It was hard at first, being young I was always upset that I missed the time with him. As I have grown up, I have tried to make sure my daughters have as many opportunities to spend time in the woods and on the water as we can. I have come to realized I didnt miss anything with him being gone, we just got to share the experiences in different ways, because I know he has been with me often.

[sbushee]

Sorry man. I love to hunt. My dad took me as a boy because I begged to go. Haven’t hunted with him in over 30 years. Hunting just not his thing. But he’s still great

[Texastaxi]

I lost my dad January 6th, 2018 after a "relatively" short battle with cancer.
When it was all happening, I kept thinking he'd beat it, because there was no way it would beat MY dad.
I have so many regrets for not spending more time with him.
Any time I am not busy, doing something, I break down.

I don't have an answer for you, but I hope you find one.

[HoustonHunter94]

Lost my Dad on July 9th, 2017 very unexpectedly (major heart attack). I was in a daze for a couple weeks but it gets better with time. Grief turns into reflecting on the good memories and I smile more now. The one time I broke down was opening morning of bow season 2017 sitting in my pop up before the sun came up. Kind of hit me that if I shot a deer, I didn’t know who I would call. He was always that first call. My condolences to you. Just know it gets better.


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[TKRanch]

When I am in the woods with my son, now 17, he was 3 when I lost my dad, I simply remember my time with my dad and how it influenced me and how much I enjoyed it. I have realized over the years the fun and pride my dad must have felt when I was young as I do with my son and also wonder how he put up with me at times!

It is certainly bitter sweet and I always wish he was still here to enjoy it all, but I know he is watching us, proud of what we have become and giggling seeing me go through the stuff you just don't understand until you experience it!

Also enjoy reliving my experiences with my son through the stories and memories I share with him about his grandfather that he only remembers a tiny bit.

[KDinTX]

Lost my Dad April 23rd this year, it still hurts a good bit. We talked near every day and visited him and my mom almost daily. He had COPD, and its a very crippling disease, he went from building just about anything, to hardly being able to walk without being winded in just over 3 years during the later stages of the disease.

The last 10 years or so I fixed, repaired and maintained a lot for him and my mother. I do have memories from years ago, building, hunting and fishing with him, but they started traveling and cruising a lot, which I am glad they did. I traveled for work until 2009, so we missed a bunch of time in his later years, and he traveled a lot for his work growing up.

I take comfort in knowing hes not hurting anymore, because the last few months of his life weren't the best as he just couldn't do much at all and always in pain. Watching a man wither away like he did was very hard, and watching him in hospice care struggling to breath was a terrible experience for our entire family. He passed 5 minutes before I got back to the Hospital, I know he wouldn't of wanted me to see it, but its heavy on me these days.

I've never been one to believe spirit related stuff, but Ill tell you I never dreamed of my Dad, but the very next evening after he passed I did. I dozed off with my daughter in my lap while she watched afternoon cartoons. He was there and we were talking like we always did and he told me, Kirk I gotta go, and I woke up, as if to tell me bye and that he was ok. I know hes looking over us and playing a few games of moon with his mom and dad now.

His birthday is tomorrow, its gonna be tough, but worse on my mom, so we will get together and celebrate best we can. I know time helps, and I know i'll always miss him, but I just try and stay busy right now and help my mother out.

[Johnny44]

“If you don’t keep his memory alive, he dies twice”

Prayers up

[texan4ut]

Prayers up brother. I lost my Dad in 2001. I quit hunting, fishing, camping. playing golf etc. Didn't do anything that would remind me of my Dad. Started going to church made new friends most were not hunter or fisherman and that was ok with me. Then after about 5 years my Mom said she didn't have much money for Christmas gifts so she ask if there was anything of Dad's I wanted and she would give it to me for Christmas. I told her I would like to have Dad's shotgun that I bought him for father's day many years earlier. It was in the original box so she wrapped it and put it under the tree. Best Christmas gift I ever got. When I opened it it was just like the day I gave it to him Remington 1100 20 gas probably didn't have a box shells through it. My Mom made the comment too bad he didn't get to use it more and that is when it hit my Dad wants me to use it. He would want me to get back to having fun doing things we used to do. Been hunting, fishing, camping. golfing all kinds of stuff. I hated I wasted those years of not doing. I still go to the same church and have the same friends and they have commented several times when I am talked hunting or fishing that wow didn't know your were a hunter.

[hog_down]

Very sorry for your loss.

My dad has been gone over 20 years, and it still hurts, and I think about him every day. He introduced my brother and I to the outdoors, camping, hunting, fishing, raising cattle, etc. I don't know where I would be if I didn't love all of those things. My grandfather (his dad) wasn't much into hunting and fishing, so he figured it out on his own, or with his friends. I believe and hope that he is watching over me when I have a fishing rod in my hand, or sitting in the deer blind, and I hope I am making him proud. Time does ease the pain, like the others have said. Not sure what to call it, maybe a sickness, or a better word would be passion, but there aren't many things in this world that will make me get out of a warm bed when its freezing cold outside, to go sit in a tripod and hopefully see or shoot a deer or hog. Not to mention I was probably depressed at the time, had a terrible high stress job, always in a bad mood, and broke as well. I also thoroughly enjoy a beautiful sunrise or sunset. Think about the good times that you had.

I don't go to church as much as I should, but I would much rather spend my time in the woods or on the water, rather than sitting on a church pew, and that's the way my father thought as well.

[AntlerCollector]

“If you don’t keep his memory alive, he dies twice”

Prayers up

So true.


I dread the day I will be in your shoes OP. My dad doesn't hunt hardly at all anymore because of his health. Many hunting trips and memories with him though. Keep hunting to honor him. When you are successful remember who taught you how to be a hunter.

[Southern Blend]

First off, I am sorry for your loss and have sent prayers your way. I am going to come at this from a different perspective. This past December we lost our two-year-old son, Tripp, unexpectedly. He was the youngest of four kids. The morning he passed away I swore that I was done hunting for the season, maybe longer.

Prior to him passing away, I had taken our eight-year-old son hunting a lot. A few weeks after his death I was able to rethink about going hunting. I wanted to set an example for my eight-year-old son, Brooks, that you keep putting one foot in front of the other and we do not give up. By God's grace, I hunted my tail off the rest of the season. There was a big buck that I wanted to take to honor my son. I wasn't able to do it but maybe he is still around.

Don't get me wrong, I think I cried every single time that I set up in the stand. I thought about him and carried one of his little T-shirts with me. It was tough and I knew everytime I went into the field I was going to get down. All this to say, I have some current thoughts on grief.

1. There are no stages to grieving. You are not on a timetable. Give yourself some grace. You might go through stages of being mad, then sad, then back to mad. Thats normal.

2. Don't compare your grief to anyone else's. It does neither of you any good. The feelings you have are deep and very real to you. Thats all that matters.

3. Let people know what you are thinking. Men are not talkers about feelings. I am certainly not either but have improved in that area. You need to vent your emotions to others. I talk to my wife and some good friends about the loss. I think its good for you.

4. Lean into God and your faith. If you are mad or sad let God know. He is big enough to understand that.

5. Without grief, we cannot fully grasp the concept of happiness. You can't have one without the other.

5. Hunt. It is a way to honor your father, do what he would want you to do, and set an example for others. It will be hard but you can walk through it.

Prayers brother.

[txhunter90]

“If you don’t keep his memory alive, he dies twice”

Prayers up

I like that quote a lot. Prayers for you and your family.