3 years ago this week my big brother died by suicide.
Little bit of a history lesson.. In the early 1900s suicide was considered illegal in the states. So the act was described as committing a crime. The laws have since changed but the way we describe suicide, hasn't. "Committing suicide"
Tony didn't commit any crime. He died by suicide. He struggled with depression that only a couple of us knew about. Depression is an illness, just like diabetes or COPD. If it's not treated then it can lead to something worse.
I miss him. Gosh dang it, I miss him. As I grew up and settled down in Texas we actually grew closer even though we were farther a part. We texted all the time, had selfie wars weekly, he would never share any of his **** recipes with me.. Always told me I had to come to South Carolina to learn them. My peppers still haven't turned out like his... We were going to go tear up some MahiMahi this summer. He'd give you the shirt off his back if he knew you needed it. Most of the time it wouldn't fit him anymore anyways cause he was gettin so swole. [emoji1377] He made sure we all had tickets to his gun show.
I'd give anything in this world to go back, get on a plane, and do whatever it took to treat him of his pain. I was one of the last persons he'd talked to before he took his own life. I wish I had known. I'd give anything...
The loss of him brings so much guilt, grief, and a rollercoaster emotions to myself. It completely changed my outlook on life & what it truly means to love and live. The struggles of my life that I have faced since that day have been constant punches to the gut. One thing after another, and another, and another. School, work, son, marriage, family, depression, divorce, finances, health, new job, sister passing away... you name it, it's been tenfold for me.
I've learned to try and enjoy the little things in life and people. If you aren't happy make a change. Everyone deserves to be happy. Watch the sunset every chance you get. Live boldly. Push yourself and don't quit. Recognize that some days you have to create your own sunshine. Go fishing. Go catching. Take other people fishing and catching. Take care of yourself and the ones you love. You had a purpose before anyone ever had an opinion. Do everything with so much love in your heart that you would never want to do it another way.
Recognize that depression and suicide are very real. Don't walk on egg shells about it. Its worth someone's life to talk about.
I miss him so much.
And as Tony would say...
XOXO.
Take care of yourself & be mindful of everyone else. Much love to you green screen.
-Stephanie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Little bit of a history lesson.. In the early 1900s suicide was considered illegal in the states. So the act was described as committing a crime. The laws have since changed but the way we describe suicide, hasn't. "Committing suicide"
Tony didn't commit any crime. He died by suicide. He struggled with depression that only a couple of us knew about. Depression is an illness, just like diabetes or COPD. If it's not treated then it can lead to something worse.
I miss him. Gosh dang it, I miss him. As I grew up and settled down in Texas we actually grew closer even though we were farther a part. We texted all the time, had selfie wars weekly, he would never share any of his **** recipes with me.. Always told me I had to come to South Carolina to learn them. My peppers still haven't turned out like his... We were going to go tear up some MahiMahi this summer. He'd give you the shirt off his back if he knew you needed it. Most of the time it wouldn't fit him anymore anyways cause he was gettin so swole. [emoji1377] He made sure we all had tickets to his gun show.
I'd give anything in this world to go back, get on a plane, and do whatever it took to treat him of his pain. I was one of the last persons he'd talked to before he took his own life. I wish I had known. I'd give anything...
The loss of him brings so much guilt, grief, and a rollercoaster emotions to myself. It completely changed my outlook on life & what it truly means to love and live. The struggles of my life that I have faced since that day have been constant punches to the gut. One thing after another, and another, and another. School, work, son, marriage, family, depression, divorce, finances, health, new job, sister passing away... you name it, it's been tenfold for me.
I've learned to try and enjoy the little things in life and people. If you aren't happy make a change. Everyone deserves to be happy. Watch the sunset every chance you get. Live boldly. Push yourself and don't quit. Recognize that some days you have to create your own sunshine. Go fishing. Go catching. Take other people fishing and catching. Take care of yourself and the ones you love. You had a purpose before anyone ever had an opinion. Do everything with so much love in your heart that you would never want to do it another way.
Recognize that depression and suicide are very real. Don't walk on egg shells about it. Its worth someone's life to talk about.
I miss him so much.
And as Tony would say...
XOXO.
Take care of yourself & be mindful of everyone else. Much love to you green screen.
-Stephanie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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