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Old 02-07-2020, 12:21 PM   #1
TxSon1836
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Default Was I in the wrong?

Ok GS, I went on a date the other night with a very nice girl I met at a party. It was going to be our first date (ended up being the only) and it was nothing fancy just dinner and a movie or dinner and drinks or something nothing really concrete. We agreed to meet at the restaurant and I got there early got the table and everything but when she arrived she had a kid with her. Now she had not mentioned she was a single mother AT ALL. Well long story shirt she expected me to pay for her kid which I objected to because A I didnít know the little tyke existed and B she didnít ask she just expected it. Well the date was cut very short and she basically said I was a ****ty human being but Iím pretty sure she is in the wrong in this scenario.

Thoughts?


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Old 02-07-2020, 12:26 PM   #2
panhandlehunter
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:29 PM   #3
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
^^^ This is the correct answer.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:44 PM   #4
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^^^ This is the correct answer.
Yep. ****ty of her to bring a kid without telling you before hand, but cmon man pay for the kids meal.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:51 PM   #5
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Yep. ****ty of her to bring a kid without telling you before hand, but cmon man pay for the kids meal.
This. The kid probably thinks he did something wrong now.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:58 PM   #6
JHT
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It was a date that didn't work out. I bet the kid won't even remember the meal in a week. I doubt he is in therapy today traumatized from this.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:32 PM   #7
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
Agreed.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:42 PM   #8
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
I'm in this corner
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:46 PM   #9
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
Agreed!

Should have just been the bigger person and paid for the kid, and end the date after dinner. You were expecting to pay more anyways as you mention movies or drinks after so money wasn't the issue. I understand he wasn't part of the original deal but just chalk it up to a bad date and move on.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:58 PM   #10
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Agreed!

Should have just been the bigger person and paid for the kid, and end the date after dinner. You were expecting to pay more anyways as you mention movies or drinks after so money wasn't the issue. I understand he wasn't part of the original deal but just chalk it up to a bad date and move on.
I agree with this
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:52 PM   #11
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
agreed. I would have paid and also keep in mind something might have come up last minute concerning the babysitter and she had no choice but to bring the kid. Either way the gentleman thing to do would have been to pay enjoy dinner and move on.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:19 PM   #12
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
How so? She EXPECTED that, not asked. F that. Id have walked out right then. Nobody has the expectation of anything ive earned, and Im the guy that normally picks up the tab for entire groups or parties were out with. I do it because i want to right up until someone expects me to.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:29 PM   #13
ttaxidermy
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How so? She EXPECTED that, not asked. F that. Id have walked out right then. Nobody has the expectation of anything ive earned, and Im the guy that normally picks up the tab for entire groups or parties were out with. I do it because i want to right up until someone expects me to.
Yep. Exactly my MO to a T..
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:25 PM   #14
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
this for sure
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:42 PM   #15
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
I agree with this. While it was a little odd no way in hell would have handled it the way you did. I mean how much could the little kid eat? I mean just pay the bill and be a gentleman about the deal.

-john
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Old 02-10-2020, 10:51 AM   #16
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I agree with this. While it was a little odd no way in hell would have handled it the way you did. I mean how much could the little kid eat? I mean just pay the bill and be a gentleman about the deal.

-john
John, I don't agree and normally I do . So he should be a gentleman but she shouldn't be a lady?
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:51 PM   #17
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
I'm on this side of the fence. Plus you made a little boy feel like something is wrong with (bad) him.. Not cool..
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Old 02-07-2020, 02:47 PM   #18
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
^^this
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Old 02-07-2020, 02:54 PM   #19
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
X2
Be the better person
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Old 02-07-2020, 09:07 PM   #20
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.


This is the correct answer...exactly.


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Old 02-08-2020, 10:54 AM   #21
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
This is what I am 100% agreeing with!!
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Old 02-09-2020, 08:36 PM   #22
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Y'all are both in the wrong. And that's real ****ty on your end.
^^^Agreed
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:26 PM   #23
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She showed up for a first date with her kid. Nothing that occurred after that is your fault.
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Old 02-07-2020, 03:39 PM   #24
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She showed up for a first date with her kid. Nothing that occurred after that is your fault.
I agree with this completely. Plus..... who the hell brings a kid on a first date with someone! My guess is someone not winning the parent of the year award.
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Old 02-10-2020, 06:38 AM   #25
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She showed up for a first date with her kid. Nothing that occurred after that is your fault.
I agree. I personally would have paid and then broke it off there.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:26 PM   #26
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Just marry her and get it over with.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:26 PM   #27
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I dont think you did anything wrong. Kind of odd for her to spring a kid on you on a first date. I guess you ended up feeding her fish heads!
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:27 PM   #28
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She was in the wrong, but I would have still paid for the whole dinner. Just me though. I think you were justified in how you handled it.

Did a babysitter fall through or anything? May have been some mitigating circumstances.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:41 PM   #29
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She was in the wrong, but I would have still paid for the whole dinner. Just me though. I think you were justified in how you handled it.

Did a babysitter fall through or anything? May have been some mitigating circumstances.


Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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Old 02-07-2020, 12:46 PM   #30
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Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.
If you feel bad about it, I dont think you should leave things how they were left. If you think it's possible, I would at least apologize. Tell her you were caught off guard, and decide if this is a deal breaker for you and her, or not.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:47 PM   #31
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Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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How old was the kid?
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:51 PM   #32
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Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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Yeah, you should probably feel bad. Oh well, live and learn. Next time ask if they have kids before the first day!

To be clear, I have done some ****ty stuff myself, so don't take my response as a holier than thou comment. Just make sure you learn from it.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:54 PM   #33
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So she asked straight up right after she arrived about who's paying??

Glad I'm not in the dating game & gonna go hug the wife!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TxSon1836 View Post
Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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Old 02-07-2020, 01:05 PM   #34
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So she asked straight up right after she arrived about who's paying??



Glad I'm not in the dating game & gonna go hug the wife!!


She said I brought my son with me hope you donít mind? To which I asked if there was an issue with a babysitter or something and she said nope he goes everywhere with me we are a package deal.





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Old 02-07-2020, 01:10 PM   #35
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She said I brought my son with me hope you donít mind? To which I asked if there was an issue with a babysitter or something and she said nope he goes everywhere with me we are a package deal.

That's more than a little weird...
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:13 PM   #36
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She said I brought my son with me hope you donít mind? To which I asked if there was an issue with a babysitter or something and she said nope he goes everywhere with me we are a package deal.

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I donít take that as her expecting you to pay for the little one, or even her for that matter
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:17 PM   #37
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[QUOTE=TxSon1836;14690177]She said I brought my son with me hope you don’t mind? To which I asked if there was an issue with a babysitter or something and she said nope he goes everywhere with me we are a package deal.

I think you need to reconsider this and send her some flowers as an apology.
Yes she should have told you before, but she is being a mother and raising her kid, you see it all too often in the news where some woman leaves her kid in the car or home alone to go party and the kid ends up hurt or dead. Pay for the meal enjoy the company because apparently you thought she was worth the time and money. It might have made the kiddos day. Sorry if I seem like an *****, but kids do change you priorities and way of thinking.

Last edited by mrc; 02-07-2020 at 01:19 PM.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:33 PM   #38
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She said I brought my son with me hope you donít mind? To which I asked if there was an issue with a babysitter or something and she said nope he goes everywhere with me we are a package deal.





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I donít blame you one bit.
You expected to go on a date, not help baby sit.
She should have told you she was bringing the kid.
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:14 PM   #39
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So she asked straight up right after she arrived about who's paying??

Glad I'm not in the dating game & gonna go hug the wife!!
This is so true !
Gotta love the dating game.
Not !!!
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Old 02-07-2020, 01:11 PM   #40
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Nope she said she brings him everywhere.

Everywhere except the party where she met you and lured you in for a free dinner for 2 I suppose?



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Old 02-07-2020, 07:26 PM   #41
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Nope she said she brings him everywhere. And that they are a package deal. We never got to dinner didnít even get a drink order in.

I feel bad about how the whole thing went down but I guess it is what it is.


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Yes, she should have informed you of the kid before. At that point I would have told her I wasn't here to buy a cow and calf but just wanted some milk!
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:27 PM   #42
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I would of paid for the kid. The next day I would of had a talk with myself to decide if i wanted to be a dad or was i just looking for some split tail. If the later i wouldn't talk to her again. (Disclamer is if she gave a vibe of looking for a sugar daddy)
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:28 PM   #43
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I would say that she should have told you she had a kid, but maybe she wanted to make it to the first date before telling you. IMO she should have got a baby sitter and told you on that date that she is a single mom but showing up with the kid is really really odd and not a good idea.

However, I would have just paid for the kid and never contacted her again!
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Old 02-07-2020, 02:52 PM   #44
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I would say that she should have told you she had a kid, but maybe she wanted to make it to the first date before telling you. IMO she should have got a baby sitter and told you on that date that she is a single mom but showing up with the kid is really really odd and not a good idea.

However, I would have just paid for the kid and never contacted her again!
I would have paid as well. I remember running from women with kids back in the day, but in the end I married one of them and now I've got a wonder step daughter to go with the two others that me and her mom had together. Don't blame you for running from a kid if that's the point you're at in your life but maybe give a chance. You just never know!
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Old 02-08-2020, 09:10 AM   #45
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I would say that she should have told you she had a kid, but maybe she wanted to make it to the first date before telling you. IMO she should have got a baby sitter and told you on that date that she is a single mom but showing up with the kid is really really odd and not a good idea.

However, I would have just paid for the kid and never contacted her again!
This is my response to you as well.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:28 PM   #46
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A truly unbiased assessment requires a picture if I'm not mistaken.
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:39 AM   #47
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A truly unbiased assessment requires a picture if I'm not mistaken.
This is what I was thinking. Does she look like Trumps wife or Hillary. does make a difference.
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:51 AM   #48
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I don't know how long y'all talked before the date, but you probably never asked, so she neva told. And yes they are a package deal, she didn't need to bring the kid on the date to show that, it's literally fact. I've brought my son a bazillion places I didn't think I would have to and I'm married! Schedules conflict, sitters are unreliable, kid was sick etc. She didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do anything wrong, it just sounds like it ain't gonna work out. Next in line.

If it happens again, good lawd, pay for a kids meal, you have no idea how much that kid is looking to you to see how to treat someone.... maybe or maybe not.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:30 PM   #49
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We need pics of the girl to properly decide.
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Old 02-07-2020, 12:30 PM   #50
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Gonna need a pic of the girl in question before I can render an opinion.

DJ
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