My fiancé and her jokes....

[Brown County Man]

I dreamed i was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

[savage1134]

A man limps into an ice cream shop, the man behind the counter says "Can I help you"
The limping man says "give me a bowl of vanilla ice cream" man behind the counter says
"crushed nuts?", limping man says "no, just a broken leg"

[tmstuk]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti

[Charles]

What did the 1st Peg say to the 2nd Peg?




















































Let's get hammered

[dustoffer]

My son and I trade puns --- and generally our response to the other one is "UGH!"

[jshouse]

the ceiling is the roof

[Tony Pic]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti

What do you call a one legged hitch hiker?
Eileen.

Can't believe no one said this one.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.

[Bowhuntin_Toona]

What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti

What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean?
Skip
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the swimming pool?
Bob

[silentstalker92]

Im dying at work right now

[silentstalker92]

3 people were captured on an island by a tribe of canabalists. They told the 3 men that if they could stick 10 pieces of fruit up their *** without making a sound they would not eat them. The first guy goes to the forrest and comes back with oranges. He gets to 2 and screams so they eat him. The second guy goes into the forrest and comes back with grapes. He gets to 9 and they eat him. Up in heaven the first guy asks the second what happend. He was so close. 2nd guy said he died laughing cause the 3rd guy came back with pinapples

[Stuck]

A female employee would make a cup of coffee everyday as soon as she came into work. One day a male coworker comes and stands right next to her, takes a deep breath and tells her hair smells lovely today. The same thing would happen every morning for a week by the same male coworker making her feel uneasy. The following week she went to HR stating she wanted to file a sexual harassment complaint on the coworker. When HR asked about the complaint they assured her the case was being taken seriously but that it seems to be just a nice compliment and nothing to be concerned about. She replied, “it’s Frank the midget.”

[JayB]

What do you call the man with no arms or legs when he is in the mailbox?

Bill

What do you call that same man when he is laying in the drive way?

Earl

[DapperDan]

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[brownchristian]

Sounds like she found the Chive dad jokes.

[DapperDan]

So why aren’t there any jokes about Rev Jim Jones??

































Because the punch line is too long!
[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]


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