wife says I am being unreasonable....

[bunkered13]

My step sister just recently married a kid who graduated high school in 2013. She graduated this past may 2014. Her now husband ask for my father in a facebook message for his blessing on them getting married. Well it didn't go as the kid had planned. My father told him that there are some things that you can say and do on the internet but others, like asking for a blessing on marriage, need to be done in person.

The kid got his feeling hurt and couldn't figure out why he got that kind of response.

I asked my soon to be father-inlaw face to face for his blessing to marry my fiancé. He said that he will always respect that because he knows he can be hard to talk to.

I would say stick to your guns on this one.

[HC Sniper]

Face to face after church. You are not being unreasonable. Your wife will never agree with you but stick to your guns on this one. I always wanted to shake their hands and look in their eyes while doing it.

[jmark100]

Agree

[Chuy]

He better go shake your hand and meet you face to face! lol I'm no parent, but thats just chicken **** of him to even try. Facetime.......pffft!

Sad times when "online" is taking the place of a good old "hello sir, my name is ..."

[hooligan]

Face to face only. Can't do the death grip hand shake over face time

[gvick]

In short I agree with you. My son who is a member here as well is 15 now. He still does not really "Date" he has for 2-3 years now some girls to a couple school dances and such. 1st rule is he cant date until HE can afford it, I don't want are need a girlfriend.
2nd if he is going to ask someone out to a school dance He has t go to the girls father and ask his permission to take her first if all is good he has to find out what time she has to be home. His mom and I are generally at any event he is so not a big deal for the transportation.
3rd He has save his money and buy her Mum and dinner with his own money.
You would be surprised by the strange looks he gets from the Dads of the girls when he walks up to them and ask their permission and shakes there hand. It is like they are surprised by this.

I have had a couple of the Dads come up to me and tell me thank you.

This is not the norm any longer it appears but it is a show of respect both for the girl and her parents.

I also have a daughter and I will expect no less from anybody that wants to take her out. It will happen or she will spend all of her nights at home.

If I cant teach my kids anything else they will no how to behave and be respectful of others.

A couple of the comments on here said but they are only 13. My thought on this and it is just my thought but if they haven't learned by 13 what respect is there is a slim chance they will have any at 16.

Just my 2 cents

[Riptide369]

The young man is showing good faith, but I agree a face to face is in order

[CrossTimbers]

Hard to intimidate the boy over the internet in the same way you can in person. But if he wants to impress you, he needs to go face to face, shake your hand, and look you in the eye.

[gingib]

amen!

[Daniel32]

F2f

[HoustonR6ryda]

face to face,

[Legdog]

At 13 my daughter was "dating" by saying the words "we're dating" in relation to some boy at school. It was simply a declaration of mutual interest. They didn't drive anywhere so face to face meetings after school were pretty much impossible. They might see each other at church or at the ball game but actually meeting outside of school was something that rarely if ever happened. In other words, it wasn't really anything close to actual "dating" as we remember it.

Once they start driving and boys come over via cars that they drive themselves, that's when introductions become critical.

Blaine is 16 now and is still not dating in the traditional sense (driving in a car or going to a movie one on one). I guess I'm lucky in that regard. I'm more worried about her driving around with her texting girlfriends or going to house parties with alcohol or weed than I am boys.

It might be completely different with my next child though.

I never thought it was important at 13 to meet some kid she "liked" at school that may or may not have liked her back.

However, if they want to do stuff one-on-one outside of school, then yes, face to face introductions are in order.

[MySRT8U]

You are doing that young man a favor. Instill in him the importance of a face to face meeting and a firm handshake.

[Shane]

It might be completely different with my next child though.

I think, more and more, all the internet and cell phone interaction is reality for kids these days. We old folks think it's all fake and not real at all, and we definitely have a point. There's no replacing in-person interaction. But cyber interactions are very real as well, and while they can be good (like most on TBH), there is real danger that they can be bad as well.

I doubt any parent ever regretted getting to know someone who had an interest in one of their kids a little bit. It can be taken to a paranoid extreme by an over-zealous helicopter parent, but I think you're on the right track in thinking differently about the younger generation and how to best be a parent.

[DuramaxDude]

My old daughter (13) has a "boyfriend" and he wants to meet me on face time.
I said no. If he wants to meet me he can do it face-to-face. She said he lives in another city. 20 minutes from us and we go to the same church.

I said he can meet me after church. Wife said I was being unreasonable because the boy is making an effort to talk to me. I said good for him.

I am not budging on this one. Boy can meet me face-to-face.

You are not being unreasonable at all and the boy may be making an effort but he is still chickening out in a way. The younger generations of today need to learn or abide by some old-fashioned morals. Meeting you face to face and shaking your hand will be far more beneficial to the both of you in the long run.