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Old 11-21-2017, 12:07 PM   #101
Fishinag22
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Did y'all hear about the new female rapper that recently put on an awesome concert, all while it was "her time of the month"?

I heard she had a mean flow...
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Old 11-25-2017, 11:34 AM   #102
LivinADream
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10 yr old daughter: dad in need to go to the Dr.
Me: why, what happened?
10 yr old: I have a crack in my butt.

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Old 02-14-2018, 12:01 PM   #103
DapperDan
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So apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.....



It’s not stroganoff.

And she’s back on a roll! Lol


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Old 02-14-2018, 12:03 PM   #104
DapperDan
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How does NASA organize a party?



They planet....

Yes she is a goober. And a goon. And a goofball that thinks these are hilarious. Guess I do to! Lol


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Old 02-14-2018, 12:04 PM   #105
Goldeneagle
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It was so quiet at the bowling alley........... you could hear a pin drop!
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Old 02-14-2018, 12:10 PM   #106
Brown County Man
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I dreamed i was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
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Old 02-14-2018, 12:15 PM   #107
savage1134
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A man limps into an ice cream shop, the man behind the counter says "Can I help you"
The limping man says "give me a bowl of vanilla ice cream" man behind the counter says
"crushed nuts?", limping man says "no, just a broken leg"
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Old 02-14-2018, 12:26 PM   #108
tmstuk
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What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti
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Old 02-14-2018, 12:28 PM   #109
Charles
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What did the 1st Peg say to the 2nd Peg?




















































Let's get hammered
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Old 02-14-2018, 12:34 PM   #110
dustoffer
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My son and I trade puns --- and generally our response to the other one is "UGH!"
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Old 02-14-2018, 12:40 PM   #111
jshouse
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the ceiling is the roof
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Old 02-14-2018, 12:52 PM   #112
Tony Pic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmstuk View Post
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti

What do you call a one legged hitch hiker?
Eileen.

Can't believe no one said this one.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:02 PM   #113
Bowhuntin_Toona
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmstuk View Post
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean?
Skip
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the swimming pool?
Bob
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:10 PM   #114
silentstalker92
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Im dying at work right now
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:13 PM   #115
silentstalker92
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3 people were captured on an island by a tribe of canabalists. They told the 3 men that if they could stick 10 pieces of fruit up their *** without making a sound they would not eat them. The first guy goes to the forrest and comes back with oranges. He gets to 2 and screams so they eat him. The second guy goes into the forrest and comes back with grapes. He gets to 9 and they eat him. Up in heaven the first guy asks the second what happend. He was so close. 2nd guy said he died laughing cause the 3rd guy came back with pinapples
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Old 02-14-2018, 02:25 PM   #116
Stuck
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A female employee would make a cup of coffee everyday as soon as she came into work. One day a male coworker comes and stands right next to her, takes a deep breath and tells her hair smells lovely today. The same thing would happen every morning for a week by the same male coworker making her feel uneasy. The following week she went to HR stating she wanted to file a sexual harassment complaint on the coworker. When HR asked about the complaint they assured her the case was being taken seriously but that it seems to be just a nice compliment and nothing to be concerned about. She replied, “it’s Frank the midget.”
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Old 02-14-2018, 02:52 PM   #117
JayB
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What do you call the man with no arms or legs when he is in the mailbox?

Bill

What do you call that same man when he is laying in the drive way?

Earl
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Old 02-14-2018, 03:45 PM   #118
DapperDan
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Old 02-14-2018, 04:38 PM   #119
brownchristian
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Sounds like she found the Chive dad jokes.
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Old 03-03-2018, 12:44 PM   #120
DapperDan
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So why aren’t there any jokes about Rev Jim Jones??

































Because the punch line is too long!



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Old 09-07-2018, 04:02 PM   #121
DapperDan
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So she sent me this today.....


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Old 09-07-2018, 04:22 PM   #122
Tubby
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Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

















Because the other one wanted to drive
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Old 09-07-2018, 04:30 PM   #123
Toddcaster
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DapperDan View Post
So she sent me this today.....


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Winner!!!!
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Old 09-07-2018, 05:26 PM   #124
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Old 09-07-2018, 05:51 PM   #125
cvanbrunt
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Old 09-07-2018, 06:39 PM   #126
drbonner
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A little hair lipped boy dressed as a pirate for Halloween. I mean this boy was bad hairlipped. The first house he came to he rang the door bell. A lil ole lady answered to hear him “twick o tweet’. The ole woman says “ oh honey look a little pirate. How cute”. She asks the little hair lipped boy “ well sonny, where are your bucaneers?”. The little hair lipped boy replies “ on my buccin Head, can’t you buccin tee em?”
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Old 10-06-2018, 11:04 PM   #127
DapperDan
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Soooo she got me again....

Wife looks at me and asks do you like to draw.

Me: yeah some times I guess.

Wife: well good because I put the “D” in “raw”...





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Old 10-06-2018, 11:10 PM   #128
chehunt
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ok
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Old 10-07-2018, 12:26 AM   #129
TxAg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hgiles View Post



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Hahahahahahaha
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Old 10-07-2018, 12:29 AM   #130
TxAg
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drbonner View Post
A little hair lipped boy dressed as a pirate for Halloween. I mean this boy was bad hairlipped. The first house he came to he rang the door bell. A lil ole lady answered to hear him “twick o tweet’. The ole woman says “ oh honey look a little pirate. How cute”. She asks the little hair lipped boy “ well sonny, where are your bucaneers?”. The little hair lipped boy replies “ on my buccin Head, can’t you buccin tee em?”
It's "hare" as in rabbit/hare and it's not a kind term to use. Just fyi. The proper term is cleft lip.
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Old 10-07-2018, 12:31 AM   #131
Pushbutton2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TxAg View Post
It's "hare" as in rabbit/hare and it's not a kind term to use. Just fyi. The proper term is cleft lip.
Lip or palette?

You taking over for Reaper33?
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Old 10-07-2018, 12:41 AM   #132
Robertt
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Met a dyslexic atheist, he told me he didn't believe in dog.
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Old 10-07-2018, 12:48 AM   #133
Pushbutton2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DapperDan View Post
So apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.....



It’s not stroganoff.

And she’s back on a roll! Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
What do you call 100 cows pleasuring themselves?

Beef Stroganoff
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Old 10-07-2018, 11:58 AM   #134
DFA
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Quote:
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Hahahahahahaha
Oh no u dent HAHA
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Old 10-07-2018, 12:02 PM   #135
Blood Trail
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pushbutton2 View Post
What do you call 100 cows pleasuring themselves?

Beef Stroganoff






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Old 10-07-2018, 12:54 PM   #136
DapperDan
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Default My fiancé and her jokes....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pushbutton2 View Post
What do you call 100 cows pleasuring themselves?

Beef Stroganoff


Gonna use this one but change it to bulls instead of cows


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