Reply
Go Back   TexasBowhunter.com Community Discussion Forums > Topics > Around the Campfire
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-21-2017, 11:07 AM   #101
Fishinag22
Nubbin' Buck
 
Fishinag22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Deer Park
Hunt In: Dewitt County
Default

Did y'all hear about the new female rapper that recently put on an awesome concert, all while it was "her time of the month"?

I heard she had a mean flow...
Fishinag22 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 11-25-2017, 10:34 AM   #102
LivinADream
Ten Point
 
LivinADream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Winnie TX
Hunt In: Winnie, Piqua KS
Default

10 yr old daughter: dad in need to go to the Dr.
Me: why, what happened?
10 yr old: I have a crack in my butt.

Sent from my XT1254 using Tapatalk
LivinADream is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:01 AM   #103
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default

So apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.....



It’s not stroganoff.

And she’s back on a roll! Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:03 AM   #104
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default

How does NASA organize a party?



They planet....

Yes she is a goober. And a goon. And a goofball that thinks these are hilarious. Guess I do to! Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:04 AM   #105
Goldeneagle
Pope & Young
 
Goldeneagle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Allen, TX
Hunt In: Where ever I get a chance.
Default

It was so quiet at the bowling alley........... you could hear a pin drop!
Goldeneagle is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:10 AM   #106
Brown County Man
Eight Point
 
Brown County Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Bangs, Texas
Default

I dreamed i was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
Brown County Man is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:15 AM   #107
savage1134
Six Point
 
savage1134's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Justin
Hunt In: MO,TX, GA
Default

A man limps into an ice cream shop, the man behind the counter says "Can I help you"
The limping man says "give me a bowl of vanilla ice cream" man behind the counter says
"crushed nuts?", limping man says "no, just a broken leg"
savage1134 is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:26 AM   #108
tmstuk
Eight Point
 
tmstuk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Katy TX
Hunt In: Milam County
Default

What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti
tmstuk is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:28 AM   #109
Charles
Pope & Young
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Default

What did the 1st Peg say to the 2nd Peg?




















































Let's get hammered
Charles is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:34 AM   #110
dustoffer
Pope & Young
 
dustoffer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Seguin, Tx
Hunt In: S/Central Tx
Default

My son and I trade puns --- and generally our response to the other one is "UGH!"
dustoffer is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:40 AM   #111
jshouse
Pope & Young
 
jshouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Rockwall
Hunt In: NE Texas
Default

the ceiling is the roof
jshouse is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 11:52 AM   #112
Tony Pic
Pope & Young
 
Tony Pic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NYS and Texas
Hunt In: The Picarosas North and South, Kerrville, Mountain Home and Harper
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tmstuk View Post
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti

What do you call a one legged hitch hiker?
Eileen.

Can't believe no one said this one.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
Tony Pic is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 12:02 PM   #113
Bowhuntin_Toona
Ten Point
 
Bowhuntin_Toona's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Winston, MT
Hunt In: Montana
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tmstuk View Post
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your doorstep?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and legs on your wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a hole?
Phil
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?
Russel
What do you call a girl with no arms and legs on the grill?
Patti
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean?
Skip
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the swimming pool?
Bob
Bowhuntin_Toona is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 12:10 PM   #114
silentstalker92
Eight Point
 
silentstalker92's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Hunt In: votaw
Default

Im dying at work right now
silentstalker92 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 12:13 PM   #115
silentstalker92
Eight Point
 
silentstalker92's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Hunt In: votaw
Default

3 people were captured on an island by a tribe of canabalists. They told the 3 men that if they could stick 10 pieces of fruit up their *** without making a sound they would not eat them. The first guy goes to the forrest and comes back with oranges. He gets to 2 and screams so they eat him. The second guy goes into the forrest and comes back with grapes. He gets to 9 and they eat him. Up in heaven the first guy asks the second what happend. He was so close. 2nd guy said he died laughing cause the 3rd guy came back with pinapples
silentstalker92 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 01:25 PM   #116
Stuck
Ten Point
 
Stuck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Katy
Default

A female employee would make a cup of coffee everyday as soon as she came into work. One day a male coworker comes and stands right next to her, takes a deep breath and tells her hair smells lovely today. The same thing would happen every morning for a week by the same male coworker making her feel uneasy. The following week she went to HR stating she wanted to file a sexual harassment complaint on the coworker. When HR asked about the complaint they assured her the case was being taken seriously but that it seems to be just a nice compliment and nothing to be concerned about. She replied, “it’s Frank the midget.”
Stuck is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 01:52 PM   #117
JayB
Ten Point
 
JayB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Rowlett
Hunt In: Cass County
Default

What do you call the man with no arms or legs when he is in the mailbox?

Bill

What do you call that same man when he is laying in the drive way?

Earl
JayB is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 02:45 PM   #118
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-14-2018, 03:38 PM   #119
brownchristian
Ten Point
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Houston
Hunt In: Freer
Default

Sounds like she found the Chive dad jokes.
brownchristian is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 03-03-2018, 11:44 AM   #120
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default

So why aren’t there any jokes about Rev Jim Jones??

































Because the punch line is too long!



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 09-07-2018, 03:02 PM   #121
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default

So she sent me this today.....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 09-07-2018, 03:22 PM   #122
Tubby
Pope & Young
 
Tubby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Noonday, TX. ✞ CM ✞ ✞Jaspro✞ ✞ Rsatt ✞
Hunt In: Sterling County & The Diamond C!
Default

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

















Because the other one wanted to drive
Tubby is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 09-07-2018, 03:30 PM   #123
Toddcaster
Eight Point
 
Toddcaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: San Angelo
Hunt In: San Angelo State Park, Morgan Mill
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DapperDan View Post
So she sent me this today.....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Winner!!!!
Toddcaster is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 09-07-2018, 04:26 PM   #124
hgiles
Ten Point
 
hgiles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New Braunfels
Hunt In: my blind
Default




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
hgiles is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 09-07-2018, 04:51 PM   #125
cvanbrunt
Ten Point
 
cvanbrunt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tarrant County
Hunt In: Jack County
Default




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
cvanbrunt is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 09-07-2018, 05:39 PM   #126
drbonner
Ten Point
 
drbonner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Joaquin, Tx
Hunt In: Shelby County and Kansas
Default

A little hair lipped boy dressed as a pirate for Halloween. I mean this boy was bad hairlipped. The first house he came to he rang the door bell. A lil ole lady answered to hear him “twick o tweet’. The ole woman says “ oh honey look a little pirate. How cute”. She asks the little hair lipped boy “ well sonny, where are your bucaneers?”. The little hair lipped boy replies “ on my buccin Head, can’t you buccin tee em?”
drbonner is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-06-2018, 10:04 PM   #127
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default

Soooo she got me again....

Wife looks at me and asks do you like to draw.

Me: yeah some times I guess.

Wife: well good because I put the “D” in “raw”...





Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-06-2018, 10:10 PM   #128
chehunt
Ten Point
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Columbus
Hunt In: Colorado County/ NM
Default

ok
chehunt is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-06-2018, 11:26 PM   #129
TxAg
Pope & Young
 
TxAg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: DFW
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by hgiles View Post



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Hahahahahahaha
TxAg is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-06-2018, 11:29 PM   #130
TxAg
Pope & Young
 
TxAg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: DFW
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by drbonner View Post
A little hair lipped boy dressed as a pirate for Halloween. I mean this boy was bad hairlipped. The first house he came to he rang the door bell. A lil ole lady answered to hear him “twick o tweet’. The ole woman says “ oh honey look a little pirate. How cute”. She asks the little hair lipped boy “ well sonny, where are your bucaneers?”. The little hair lipped boy replies “ on my buccin Head, can’t you buccin tee em?”
It's "hare" as in rabbit/hare and it's not a kind term to use. Just fyi. The proper term is cleft lip.
TxAg is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-06-2018, 11:31 PM   #131
Pushbutton2
Pope & Young
 
Pushbutton2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Van,TX
Hunt In: Mc Culloch County since 2015 Van Zandt County since 2017
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TxAg View Post
It's "hare" as in rabbit/hare and it's not a kind term to use. Just fyi. The proper term is cleft lip.
Lip or palette?

You taking over for Reaper33?
Pushbutton2 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-06-2018, 11:41 PM   #132
Robertt
Eight Point
 
Robertt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Portland, Tx
Hunt In: Atascosa County, Tx
Default

Met a dyslexic atheist, he told me he didn't believe in dog.
Robertt is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-06-2018, 11:48 PM   #133
Pushbutton2
Pope & Young
 
Pushbutton2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Van,TX
Hunt In: Mc Culloch County since 2015 Van Zandt County since 2017
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DapperDan View Post
So apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.....



It’s not stroganoff.

And she’s back on a roll! Lol


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
What do you call 100 cows pleasuring themselves?

Beef Stroganoff
Pushbutton2 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-07-2018, 10:58 AM   #134
DFA
Ten Point
 
DFA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Corinth
Hunt In: Cottle and Grayson County
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TxAg View Post
Hahahahahahaha
Oh no u dent HAHA
DFA is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-07-2018, 11:02 AM   #135
Blood Trail
Pope & Young
 
Blood Trail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Fort Worth
Hunt In: where the manicorn hunts....
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pushbutton2 View Post
What do you call 100 cows pleasuring themselves?

Beef Stroganoff






Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Blood Trail is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 10-07-2018, 11:54 AM   #136
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default My fiancé and her jokes....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pushbutton2 View Post
What do you call 100 cows pleasuring themselves?

Beef Stroganoff


Gonna use this one but change it to bulls instead of cows


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-15-2019, 09:23 PM   #137
DapperDan
Pope & Young
 
DapperDan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tomball Tx
Hunt In: Texas
Default



Wife just sent this to me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DapperDan is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-17-2019, 09:58 AM   #138
brokeno
Ten Point
 
brokeno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Smiley, Texas
Hunt In: Gonzales & Young Co and anywhere
Default

Three salemen's were driving to a convention and their car broke down. They went to a farmers house and ask for a place to stay the night The farmer said there is a bed you can sleep in the barn since my daughters are home from college. The next morning the salemen got up and the one that slept on the outside said he never sleep better and dreamed he had sex all night. The other salesman that slept on the outside said I never sleep better either and also dreamed I had sex all night. The third salemen that slept in the middle said that's strange I dreamed I was in the Olympics and won the gold metal in downhill skiing.
brokeno is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-17-2019, 10:37 AM   #139
Buck_jane
Four Point
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Flatonia
Hunt In: Fayette
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mysrt8u View Post
a man walking down a road saw a beautiful young woman crying. She was standing on the edge of a bridge ready to jump. The man approached her and asked what was wrong. She said her life wasn't going how she thought it would, she had no job, and her husband had just left her so she was just going to end it all. The man said, "well, since you are going to kill yourself anyway, how about you have sex with me first?" the woman was appalled by his comments and lack of sensitivity. She told him no and sent him away. As the man walked away he turned and said "okay, i'll just wait for you at the bottom."

hahahahaha...
Buck_jane is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 10:46 AM   #140
drbonner
Ten Point
 
drbonner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Joaquin, Tx
Hunt In: Shelby County and Kansas
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TxAg View Post
It's "hare" as in rabbit/hare and it's not a kind term to use. Just fyi. The proper term is cleft lip.
Im sorry if I uffended your sensitive feelings
drbonner is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 11:51 AM   #141
Duckologist
Eight Point
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: SW Louisiana
Default

How do you catch a polar bear?? You drill a hole in the ice and spread pees around the hole. When the bear comes to take a pee you kick him right in the ice hole
Duckologist is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 07:38 PM   #142
Russ79
Ten Point
 
Russ79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Nacogdoches, Tx
Hunt In: Nacogdoches county, San Augustine county, Beaufort county NC
Default

OK, this thread gives me the opportunity to share this I have been holding back for 50 years...
Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle??


He doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.....
Russ79 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 08:23 PM   #143
Sticks&Strings
Pope & Young
 
Sticks&Strings's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Magnolia, TX/ Kinney& sometimes Leon
Default

In for later

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk
Sticks&Strings is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 09:17 PM   #144
Billy Bad Bass
Six Point
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dripping Springs
Hunt In: Kinney County
Default

What is a pirates favorite letter?..........................................R
Billy Bad Bass is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 09:39 PM   #145
JLivi1224
Ten Point
 
JLivi1224's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Mid County
Hunt In: Public
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn21 View Post
She'll love this one- how do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him.
Yeesss!! Haha!
JLivi1224 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 09:44 PM   #146
Burnadell
Pope & Young
 
Burnadell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: White Oak
Hunt In: Bee County
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ79 View Post
OK, this thread gives me the opportunity to share this I have been holding back for 50 years...
Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle??


He doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.....
You could have held off for another 10 or 30 years!
Burnadell is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 09:52 PM   #147
bps3040
Pope & Young
 
bps3040's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Spring,Texas
Hunt In: West Texas, Dryden area, Forestville, Canada
Default

Do you know the leading cause of dry skin?





Towels


A wise man’s heart inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left.
Ecclesiastes 10:2
bps3040 is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-19-2019, 11:43 PM   #148
billythefish
Four Point
 
Join Date: Feb 2019
Default

My favorite joke of all time, hope this doesn't get me banned lol:

Why do Japanese people have slanty eyes?

Because they're still squinting from the blast.
billythefish is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-20-2019, 12:47 AM   #149
Preacher Man
Ten Point
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pearland
Hunt In: Jasper Co.
Default

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy and one is a little lighter
Preacher Man is offline   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Old 02-20-2019, 01:09 AM   #150
TxAg
Pope & Young
 
TxAg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: DFW
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by drbonner View Post
Im sorry if I uffended your sensitive feelings
If you'd like to be a jerk, I won't stop you. I was polite and factual in telling you that your words are outdated. No snowflake here, but I'm not above some growth and compassion. It's the same reason I don't call people "retarded." It's just rude.

Name:  22A4A4A7-9609-4DAE-A7EC-A64D7294D7EB.jpeg
Views: 290
Size:  31.4 KB
TxAg is online now   Reply With Quote Back To The Top
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:35 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
Copyright 1999-2012, TexasBowhunter.com