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    Dads

    Fathers Day is upon us. Congrats to all you fathers out there (early I know). Reminiscing from times past.

    My pops and I didn't have a great relationship. He was a alcoholic most his life. As you know most drunks are good at seperating themselves from life and loved ones in general.

    He missed out on most my growing up stuff, like sports etc. Mom pulled double duty and did the best she could. I resented him for several if not many years. I learned to except you can not change the past but be better in the future.

    My dad cold turkey stopped drinking after he blew liver out his mouth. He hasn't had a drink in 10 yrs or so. Pretty cool dude when he isn't juiced. Wish I would have known him like this all my life. He is now slowly deteriorating in health.

    This isn't a pitty thread but a bit more of moral to the story. I hope if you are a dad you have tried to be better then what yours was to you. I have tried with mine.

    Coping and life mechanisms are different for everyone. I hope my past changed me for the better with my 2 daughters. Peace.

    #2
    Originally posted by CrookedArrow View Post
    Fathers Day is upon us. Congrats to all you fathers out there (early I know). Reminiscing from times past.

    My pops and I didn't have a great relationship. He was a alcoholic most his life. As you know most drunks are good at seperating themselves from life and loved ones in general.

    He missed out on most my growing up stuff, like sports etc. Mom pulled double duty and did the best she could. I resented him for several if not many years. I learned to except you can not change the past but be better in the future.

    My dad cold turkey stopped drinking after he blew liver out his mouth. He hasn't had a drink in 10 yrs or so. Pretty cool dude when he isn't juiced. Wish I would have known him like this all my life. He is now slowly deteriorating in health.

    This isn't a pitty thread but a bit more of moral to the story. I hope if you are a dad you have tried to be better then what yours was to you. I have tried with mine.

    Coping and life mechanisms are different for everyone. I hope my past changed me for the better with my 2 daughters. Peace.



    Thank you for sharing.

    Originally posted by TP3 View Post
    How about a crookedarrow subforum?
    Last edited by Burnadell; 06-16-2018, 05:37 PM.

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      #3
      Originally posted by Burnadell View Post


      Thank you for sharing.



      Truth. Sad it hit him that hard to make him quit.

      Comment


        #4
        Great post. Trying to do the same with my two boys.

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          #5
          I had two dads growing up and I guess I still do. Mom and dad split when I was a wee boy. Mom married my stepdad. God bless that man for putting up with more than any one person should. He’s the closest to an angel as I’ll ever hope to meet but we’re not close. We never were. My bio dad is my go to. Mom messed with that relationship while I was growing up. We weren’t close then. We are now. I talk to him more than anyone but my wife. My goal in life, I mean my number 1 goal, is to be married to my wife until one of us is gone. Divorce is SO HARD on kids. I’ve had two good dads for as long as I can remember. However, I still have some goals and want to do best by my kids.

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            #6
            My Pops is approaching his 82nd. I'll be seeing him tomorrow at my daughter's home.



            My Grandboys will be there as well with their Dad, my daughter's husband.



            Thank you Lord, for giving me such a loving man as my father here on earth. And for giving your Son so we might know the love You have for us.

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              #7
              As I write this, I’m sitting in the room with my dad, watching him die. Diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last July and it’s been a tough row to hoe. He was always tough and I thought he was the hardest man I ever knew, but I look at him now and can’t imagine having to give him up. Make memories folks, one of these days, that’s all you’re gonna be left with. Happy Fathers Day Pops!

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by newmathewsfan View Post
                As I write this, I’m sitting in the room with my dad, watching him die. Diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last July and it’s been a tough row to hoe. He was always tough and I thought he was the hardest man I ever knew, but I look at him now and can’t imagine having to give him up. Make memories folks, one of these days, that’s all you’re gonna be left with. Happy Fathers Day Pops!
                How sad. Looks like you had a great dad though. Peace

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                  #9
                  My biological dad was murdered and I was adopted by my grandpa whom died from cancer. Life ain’t like the movies that for sure!

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                    #10
                    I have an awesome dad. He has given me the best years of his life to teach me and be an example of what a good father, husband, and man should look like. I haven’t always done the best, but I can hope to be like my dad one day. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye when the time comes, but I know I’ll see him again one day.

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                      #11
                      I'm a lucky one. I hope I can be half the dad my dad is.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by newmathewsfan View Post
                        As I write this, I’m sitting in the room with my dad, watching him die. Diagnosed with terminal lung cancer last July and it’s been a tough row to hoe. He was always tough and I thought he was the hardest man I ever knew, but I look at him now and can’t imagine having to give him up. Make memories folks, one of these days, that’s all you’re gonna be left with. Happy Fathers Day Pops!
                        Bless him and your family. May he have peace and comfort.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Like many men of his generation (born 1928) my father was what you could call “stoic” - not given to displays of emotion. That was good in some ways - I never once saw him really lose his temper. He was always kind but often said nothing at all - certainly nothing about feelings. He worked hard and sacrificed for our family but heart-to-heart talks were almost non-existent. However I knew he loved us because of the way he acted everyday. He taught me what being a man was all about without saying a word - he showed it by the way he took care of us and how he treated others. I have two sisters and I know he cherished our “guy time” hunting and fishing as much as I did, he just didn’t know how to express it. Reminds me of that old saying “your children are much more likely to follow your example than they are to follow your advice” He developed early onset dementia in his early 60 ‘s and did not know who any of us were for the last 10 years of his life. Brutal years. I am much more of a talker than he was and my parenting style reflected that with our boys.

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by jerp View Post
                            Like many men of his generation (born 1928) my father was what you could call “stoic” - not given to displays of emotion. That was good in some ways - I never once saw him really lose his temper. He was always kind but often said nothing at all - certainly nothing about feelings. He worked hard and sacrificed for our family but heart-to-heart talks were almost non-existent. However I knew he loved us because of the way he acted everyday. He taught me what being a man was all about without saying a word - he showed it by the way he took care of us and how he treated others. I have two sisters and I know he cherished our “guy time” hunting and fishing as much as I did, he just didn’t know how to express it. Reminds me of that old saying “your children are much more likely to follow your example than they are to follow your advice” He developed early onset dementia in his early 60 ‘s and did not know who any of us were for the last 10 years of his life. Brutal years. I am much more of a talker than he was and my parenting style reflected that with our boys.
                            Interesting to note my dad may have onset dementia or Alzheimer's. He has most recently really lost a huge part of his memory and I will be taking him to a doctor for testing.

                            I am quite opposite with my wife and girls. Show emotions and hug a lot. My youngest daughter is like my pops. Hates hugs, crying etc.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Quality thread Crookedarrow, thanks. My apologies for giving you a hard time. You strike me as having pretty thick skin though.

                              My dad was stricter than almost anyone I knew growing up. Never any doubt that he loved us kids though. Grandkids have softened him considerably, which is always what he said about his dad.

                              It's funny but I guess the way things are is almost the same as they have ever been. Makes me feel pretty small in the big scheme of things.

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