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    Adopting a stepchild

    How do I go about adopting my oldest daughter? The other adoption thread got me thinking about this, my wife has brought it up before but that's about all that's been done.

    Her "father" doesn't see her or pay child support, which is fine with me, but she's getting to the age that she's starting to ask a lot of questions and you can see how bad she hurts when we try and explain things to her. She's got a younger brother and sister and doesn't understand why her name is different than ours. Or why she has to go to his house once every 3-8 months (he's gone as long as a year without seeing her). She doesn't have a bed or clothes over there and she always tells us how there is a lot of people around all the time. Has anyone else been through this?
    Anyone have any pointers?
    I've heard it's pretty costly to get all this done but it'd be worth it if we didn't have to deal with him anymore.

    #2
    I think her bio father will have to agree to it. even if he's a deadbeat and don't pay squat.

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      #3
      We looked into this long ago. My wife told me that by the time we got paperwork back from him she would be married. Well she's graduated HS , College and dead beat still owes 22K. She teaching Ag now and has found out from talking to her students there's one young lady going thru same thing. She (student) told my Daughter that when she turns 18 she's changing her name. Cost way less and paperwork still be drug on , on , on for adoption. So now my daughter is thinking the same thing.

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        #4
        Originally posted by Dieselman View Post
        We looked into this long ago. My wife told me that by the time we got paperwork back from him she would be married. Well she's graduated HS , College and dead beat still owes 22K. She teaching Ag now and has found out from talking to her students there's one young lady going thru same thing. She (student) told my Daughter that when she turns 18 she's changing her name. Cost way less and paperwork still be drug on , on , on for adoption. So now my daughter is thinking the same thing.
        I'm actually doing an adult adoption right now because once they are an adult biofather does not have to sign. I think with filing fees and everything it's going to be about $1,000 and probably less. "Step" dad raised this girl and she wanted to honor him by having his name on her birth certificate even though she might not change her last name because she's an adult and it would be pretty confusing.

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          #5
          Did she put him down as the father on the birth certificate? My wife had this with her late husband. Bio dad never met son and when he was 14 she was able to just have her new husband sign the birth very and she changed his name.

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            #6
            Originally posted by KBM View Post
            How do I go about adopting my oldest daughter? The other adoption thread got me thinking about this, my wife has brought it up before but that's about all that's been done.

            Her "father" doesn't see her or pay child support, which is fine with me, but she's getting to the age that she's starting to ask a lot of questions and you can see how bad she hurts when we try and explain things to her. She's got a younger brother and sister and doesn't understand why her name is different than ours. Or why she has to go to his house once every 3-8 months (he's gone as long as a year without seeing her). She doesn't have a bed or clothes over there and she always tells us how there is a lot of people around all the time. Has anyone else been through this?
            Anyone have any pointers?
            I've heard it's pretty costly to get all this done but it'd be worth it if we didn't have to deal with him anymore.
            The above folks are correct, you have to terminate the biological father's parental rights. Would he agree to that? If so, it's really a pretty straightforward process.

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              #7
              Originally posted by stickerpatch59 View Post
              I think her bio father will have to agree to it. even if he's a deadbeat and don't pay squat.
              This, but get a lawyer, I did this 35 years ago and had to hold the back child support over the dead beat dad's head. when he found out he didn't have to pay if he signed he couldn't find a pen fast enough.

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                #8
                Originally posted by SMUMan02 View Post
                The above folks are correct, you have to terminate the biological father's parental rights. Would he agree to that? If so, it's really a pretty straightforward process.
                We asked about a year ago, but he didn't want to give up his rights even though they don't get used. Maybe now that the backchild support is higher he may, but we may wait a while longer to have even more weight hanging over his head.

                Thank y'all, I was hoping there would be a more simple way but guess not.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by KBM View Post
                  We asked about a year ago, but he didn't want to give up his rights even though they don't get used. Maybe now that the backchild support is higher he may, but we may wait a while longer to have even more weight hanging over his head.

                  Thank y'all, I was hoping there would be a more simple way but guess not.
                  The child support is always the leverage. And it's usually pretty good leverage. The worst part in stepparent adoptions is often dealing with the Attorney General as you are trying to get the child support waived. Good luck!

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