Questions on "bullies"

[RiverRat1]

Several questions and points I want to make. This is not directed towards any TBH member. Most is just general thoughts.

When I say bully I mean "bully" as in todays bully. Not the real beat your butt down after school bully like when I was a kid. It seems like every single class has a bully now. So 1-20 kids are bullies

1. At what point do you think a kid has the mental capacity to become a bully? IMO it's maybe 4th grade or higher. All kids 4-6 poke each other and call names. That's just what kids do.

2. Why is it when someone is accused on TBH most of the time a lot of members say they have no comment because there's two sides to a story and then the truth in the middle. But when a post hits about a bully 100% of TBH says bully should be dealt with?

My wife is a 1st grade teacher. She has parents tell her about "Johnny" being a bully. Most (not all but most) of the time she watches the kids and they are just being kids. This last week the bullied kid was the one instigating it. And a girl that was "hit" was the one not leaving the little boy alone after he told her several times he didn't want her help.

3. When you teach your kid to hit first do you really think they are old enough to have the right reasoning skills to do that? And what are you going to say to the other parent who taught their kid that same thing when your kid gets punched?

4. I think we all agree real bullies need to be jack slapped down and put in place. But everyone needs to remember kids will be kids (5-8 year olds I'm talking about). Both sides can't be right. And, maybe not here on TBH, but most of the time the bully really isn't a bully.

Teachers feel free to chime in. I know you love the word bully.

[Playa]

I think you are a bully for questioning the group logic of TBh

[chopsknives]

I for one am glad they have cameras in schools now. My son Dylan had an incident where another kid shoved him so he shoved him back and the kid came at him with fists so Dylan popped him one on the kisser. Everything was fine until the next day when the other kid came in with injuries to the back of his head. He told the powers that be that Dylan had sucker punched him in the back of the head and then hit him multiple times. The security team sat them down and watched the vid. Dylan was given detention of one day for fighting and the other kid was given detention for starting the fight and for lying about the whole thing. Without the cameras Dylan would have been deemed a bully

[Mudslinger]

Unfortunately all the cameras in most schools here are only in the halls. What happens in a classroom is he said, she said most of the time.

[Stuck]

Everyone bullies, everyone gets bullied to some extent. Smallest weakest kid in class will pick on a younger kid. It’s part of life. Some take it to a different extreme than others. It doesn’t stop when you you graduate.

[txpitdog]

I think you will find that the parents of kids who have been mistreated or who were mistreated themselves by bullies are going to be pretty unapologetic about it. No amount of Facebook or TBH social issue discussion is going to change the mind of someone who has to deal with that.

[Buff]

I think the entire "BULLY" outrage is just one more thing making the next generation weaker.

Young folks today believe they can pretty much say or do anything without paying the consequences.

Just one old mans opinion but there are lessons to be learned in school that are not in books.

A fellow needs to learn that if you run your mouth, someone may stick a fist in it.

A fellow needs to learn that getting hit is not the end of the world and that some things are worth fighting for even if you loose the fight.

I see all these soft collage kids on TV rolling on the ground like 2 year olds when they don't get their way or when someone says something hurtful and fear for the future of the country.

How soft can we get and survive.

[Mudslinger]

I think the entire "BULLY" outrage is just one more thing making the next generation weaker.

Young folks today believe they can pretty much say or do anything without paying the consequences.

Just one old mans opinion but there are lessons to be learned in school that are not in books.

A fellow needs to learn that if you run your mouth, someone may stick a fist in it.

A fellow needs to learn that getting hit is not the end of the world and that some things are worth fighting for even if you loose the fight.

I see all these soft collage kids on TV rolling on the ground like 2 year olds when they don't get their way or when someone says something hurtful and fear for the future of the country.

How soft can we get and survive.

Very true. We are as a society getting softer by the second and it I think is going to get worse before it gets better IF it gets better. Personally I think that every school should have an area and boxing gloves where if 2 kids want to duke it out, put the gloves on the and let them go at each other, supervised of course.

[bullhead44]

I am a teacher/coach and have been for 25 years now. Bullying has always been part of schools, and always will be. The brain of school aged kids lacks empathy, therefore the bullying occurs. The big difference in now and when most of us were growing up in in social media. Kids cant get away from it even when they go home. More people see it with social media as well.

[Flex]

Bullhead is correct. Social media is a big deal. Kids can hide behind a screen and mess with people now. And you can't get away from it after school.

Old school bullying is pretty much gone, nobody is punching somebody and stealing lunch money anymore. Most kids do not even know how to close their hand and punch if they had the urge too.

Anytime a kid gets upset now parents want to pull the bullying card. Unfortunately we have to take it serious every time and document etc. in order to cover our selves.

I do not agree with teaching kids to swing first. In this current SJW society you cannot lash our physically as a response to verbal or social media taunting. However, I do think kids (mine included) need to be able to defend themselves, and if another student gets physical and starts an altercation, they should be able to do what they have to in order to defend themselves and end the altercation.

[chehunt]

I feel the word "bully" is over used and a buzz word to stir. With that being said, I'm sure there are some that fit the definition.

[YaknDak]

I actually appreciate this debate/convo. It needs to be talked about and I think bullying starts much younger. It may be simple things but kids are extremely smart. More than they get credit for. I think around 2nd grade ish. I’m a firm believer of sticking up for your self and nipping it in the but then and there. The child may not have good technique to punch another kid but. No kids enjoys getting punched in the face and possible little acts of resistance like that could make the difference. A kid bullying gets popped they are gonna stop messing with that kid. It may or may not cure that kid from being a bully but it stopped that kid from being bullied. Have had to deal with this with my 8 year daughter. I constantly preach that there are 3 people in this world.. wolves, sheep, and sheep dog.

[RiverRat1]

If name calling over the internet is being a bully then I get bullied every time I post.

Should I have self respect and go punch them in the mouth?

Just thinking out loud here.............

[CaptainDave]

Everyone bullies, everyone gets bullied to some extent. Smallest weakest kid in class will pick on a younger kid. It’s part of life. Some take it to a different extreme than others. It doesn’t stop when you you graduate.

X2

No question social media has changed the direction of bullying to an extent, especially for the younger generation. However, bullying is not something that begins and ends with school.

I would also agree with the poster that said the term "bully" is definitely over used. Just because someone says something to you one day that may not be very nice, doesn't make them a bully nor does it mean they are bullying you.

[Flex]

If name calling over the internet is being a bully then I get bullied every time I post.

Should I have self respect and go punch them in the mouth?

Just thinking out loud here.............

Wish it was only that. You would not believe the horrible things kids say and post online now. Seen it all the way down into elementary. Not as simple as name calling.