Having Kids....(advice)

[AgTag23]

Wife and I do not have kids, however they are in our future within the next 2-3 years.

Everyone always says "you'll never be ready enough".... and I agree with that when it comes to the act of parenting, time management, stress on a marriage etc.

But what about financial readiness? What are some things that you wish you would or woudln't have done with it comes to financial readiness when its time for kids??

Things like: how much per month to expect to devote to the kid out of monthly budget?, health care costs?, starting 529 early?, emergency fund for the family?, initial costs for supplies (cribs, car seats, strollers, etc...)?

Thanks in advance. I know you can never be "ready enough" but it would be nice to have some form of "readiness"

[AntlerCollector]

You're already ready! You have put more thought into it than most people. Lots of teenagers get knocked up and manage to raise their kids. If you have a house, a wife, and a job, you will be fine. Don't over think it.

[6.5 shooter]

You need to set aside about 2k a month till they graduate college.

[RiverRat1]

You're already ready! You have put more thought into it than most people. Lots of teenagers get knocked up and manage to raise their kids. If you have a house, a wife, and a job, you will be fine. Don't over think it.

This^

You've already put in more thought than 99% of those who have kids.

Kids are not as expensive as you see touted on TV. Sure they cost money but if you're not stupid it's not a huge increase.

Try to get the items you listed at baby showers or yard sales.

I would start a Coverdell IRA for each kid when they're born. Or whatever the best college fund savings plan is when you have one.

[fullsizeaggie]

You should already have 3-6 months of expenses in the bank for yourself. Add your spouse in there too. Insurance can be 2-400 a month for kids. Birth alone can be 4-8000. You can google costs of baby stuff and make a list. You don't always need new or the latest and greatest. Family loves to get stuff, let them. Diapers, formula, medicine etc is easily 300-400 a month. Don't let being 100% ready stop you, cause you never are!

[Mud Shark]

Biggest thing to do is to save your money. We follow the Dave Ramsey plan and it's worked wonders for our family. Just very easy to watch and track. It's also gotten us out of the little debt we had, except for our house and we're well on our way to that as well.
It's just a great way to see where your money is going instead of swiping a credit or debt card for everything, then at the end of the month going "*** happened to the money?" HAHA. I pretty much use cash for everything now. And when it's gone, it's gone.

Come up with a budget for everything outgoing. I would initially budget about $800-1000 a month for child care.
Childcare is incredibly expensive these days.

I found that through family and friends, we got a lot of clothes and diapers, but you'll still need some for that. You'll also get a lot of stuff through hand me downs and baby showers, and all of my friends and i threw "Diaper Showers" for each other. Basically a big beer drinking and cook out event and everyone brought a bigass box of diapers. Lots of fun.

I think you're darn sure on the right path looking at this stuff now. No reason not to start saving for it now if kid's are in the future.

[tmurray]

Ours was a surprise, he'll be 6 this summer. I'm glad it ended up being a surprise because I didn't have to think about this stuff, just jumped right into "ok we're doing this!".

By his first birthday I found myself still living comfortably and asking WTH were we spending all our money on before?

Here's some things to consider though to answer your question:

- Not sure if your wife will work or stay at home but expect $250 a week for an infant at a daycare if she works. It gets slightly cheaper as they get older but not much.
- Breast pumps are expensive but insurance typically covers it, lotta folks don't know that. We were ready to buy a $400 pump when we found out and our insurance mailed us the same pump for free
- Crib you can get a decent crib for $250 at Target or you can spend over a grand if you want, your call.
- You'll want a car seat + 2 bases + stroller that is all the same brand and the car seat attaches to the stroller. This way you don't have to take him/her out of the seat and put them in the stroller, you simply move the seat from the car to the stroller. This will be a few hundred dollars worth of stuff.
- Your wife will want a changing table, they all do and they can be fairly expensive. We found ourselves never using ours, we changed him on the bed/floor/couch typically.
- 529 - we still need to do this ourselves, we've been putting a few hundred dollars a paycheck into a savings account for him and there's several thousand dollars in that account already but I'm sure it could be invested more wisely than sitting in a BoA savings account.
- Plan on about $300-500 a month for misc baby stuff like food/diapers/clothes/toys/doctor visits...

Most importantly, if you wait till your ready you'll never have one, just go for it, it's great!!!

[aggie182]

You're right, you'll never be "ready".

Mine are 8 (boy) and 7 (girl). Or, if you want the reality of it, 8 and oops! I always heard a woman couldn't get pregnant while breast feeding. Trust me, and probably many many others, they can. I wouldn't do it any other way, but when they were both in diapers, we couldn't get out of Wal Mart of under $250!

From the money side of things, you'll make it work. I had more money before kids (even though I make more now), but we blew it on vacations, eating out, etc. Now, we take a trip each year, one summer my wife and I go somewhere so we can reconnect. Vacationing without the kids: Selfish? Probably! Worth it? Yes! The next summer is a family vacation. We're going to Colorado this summer with the kids. It's going to be a lot of work, but they'll love it and my wife and I will too.

My biggest take away so far is that there is always a new challenge. As babies, you want them to crawl, talk, feed themselves. Then you want them to stay out of things (chewing on cords, opening cabinets, picking up dead bugs), be quiet at certain times, and not make a mess all over themselves and your kitchen and your house and the restaurant, and so on. New challenges, every day, month, and year. Next you'll want them to go to the bathroom on their own, you'll want them potty trained, but you'll be cleaning up pee (boys), wiping them (boys and girls), etc. Then you won't be able to wait for the day when they can wipe themselves, but you're faced with the fact that they smeared poop half way up their backs while trying to wipe on their own - true story! So now instead of a quick bathroom trip before bed, you're giving them a full on shower. You'll fight and enjoy their curiosity of everything, good and bad. Do you sit back and let them learn "he'll only do that once!" or stop them in their tracks? That's a challenge. Then they'll be able to look you in the face and lie to you. "I didn't hit brother!" "Yes you did dear, I saw you." "No you didn't!". You get the point.

Mine are currently in 1st and 3rd grade. Homework some nights can be torture on them and on you. That's our current big challenge, among many others.

Now that I've rambled, I'll say it's all worth it, its fun, its painful, its hectic, frantic, and every other word you can think of. Highs and lows, you're a different kind of poor, and a different kind of rich.

Sorry for rambling, but there really is much more to say. Enjoy the experience!

[WamBow]

If you know y'all are going to have kids don't run the expense...you can't afford it. Yet when you have and raise children you'll always have everything you need when you need it. "Have a little faith baby...have a little faith."

[CSIceman]

Every year you wait is another year older you are when they get out of the house. I’d rather have freedom in my 50s when I have more money than in my 20s when penny pinching was common. You’ll never have enough money but you’ll figure out a way to make it work...we all do. I’d at least start practicing tonight, if I were you.


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[glen]

Do it now. Don’t wait for anything in life

[Ætheling]

Cave people had babies. Its easy and you are biologically designed to take care of them. Just enjoy the ride. Too many people these days putting off children trying to chase some financial golden status and then have kids way too late just to finally figure out it was what was most important all along.

[doright]

With the first one everyone seems to go overboard with stuff. By the time the second one comes along they have a better understanding that they can get by with a lot less "stuff". No matter what the financial situation is most seem to get by. Just remember that the best thing you can give your child is your time.

[JayB]

Having raised 7 kids, my advice is this: Enjoy the ride. Kids are little humans that you have the responsibility to train up. Every one will be different. You will be amazed at the capacity you find within yourself to love. Don't sweat the small stuff. Everything is a lesson but not everything requires a disciplinary action. You will find that you would spend every penny you have, your wife has and even what your neighbor has, if it is necessary to get your child through something.
Children are a blessing from the Lord. They are never a curse, though at times it is hard to see around that.

[jlp04c]

Being practical... The fixed expenses that you mentioned (stroller, car seat diapers etc) will most likely be covered by a shower of some sort, or at least a lot of them would.

3 things i underestimated:

I severely underestimated the cost of daycare, of course this varies with parents helping out etc. But daycare are super duper expensive. Call around to a few in your are and find out. i've seen 400-1500/month, could be more, could be less. but it's substantial no less.

Also, I underestimated the amount of time that one spouse will have to take off to accommodate sick kids. Obviously a non issue if you plan on having one person at home. But that time off work + daycare expenses that don't stop because you are out are a 1-2 punch some months.

My last underestimated cost is a unique one.. I underestimated how bad a working spouse would want to stay home full time to be with the kiddo... It's a tough decision and there are so many factors but it's worth vetting out even the possibility that it may happen.