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Old 11-12-2017, 09:48 PM   #1
klooney
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Default Hey married guys...

My wife and I have been married almost 11 years, next weekend to be precise.

Like all marriages we have had our ups and downs, thankfully more ups than downs. Anyhow, she encouraged me to read "The five languages of love" by dr.gary chapman. I won't get into the specifics of the whole book, but basically falling in love is the easy part, staying in love takes work.

I recommend it to anyone who has been married more than a couple of years. Like I said, I think we have a pretty good marriage but this opened up my eyes to some things that I can do personally to be a better husband, as well as for my wife to be a better wife
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Old 11-12-2017, 09:54 PM   #2
flywise
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It certainly takes work.....and forgiveness by both.
No way not to hurt the one you love but there is a way to keep that hurt from festering into resentment. There have been a few spells in 14 years I was not sure we were going to make it but we both refused to take the easy way out and when those times pass its better than ever
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Old 11-12-2017, 09:56 PM   #3
Djwilliams
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Very good book.
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Old 11-12-2017, 09:57 PM   #4
big_smith
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About 11 years ago my wife and I watched one of his videos. I think it saved our marriage. It explained so much about why we were struggling. Now if we are in a rough spot one of us will say "Your not speaking my language." That seems to get us back on track.
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Old 11-12-2017, 09:59 PM   #5
austinRecurve
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My wife and I read it before we got married. Good book.
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:02 PM   #6
Blue_bonnet
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Still reading through it. Lot of truth in that book
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:03 PM   #7
MisterB
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My wife and I have made it 54 years and we still havent killed one another. Lol. Hang in there , the best is yet to come. I guess the hardest thing I had to learn was that every feeling, thought or urge I had, every single one, at one time or other, she was having too. Makes you stop and think don’t it?
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:03 PM   #8
J Sweet
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Women need to read that book and understand physical touch is the main language for 95 percent of us men folk.


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Old 11-12-2017, 10:06 PM   #9
klooney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J Sweet View Post
Women need to read that book and understand physical touch is the main language for 95 percent of us men folk.


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That's what I thought at first as well. The more I got into the book, words of affirmation followed by physical touch is more me
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:10 PM   #10
hot_rod_eddie
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Been married 8 years. We have been through a lot, but marriage has been easy for us. Can't explain it, but no marital problems at all. Only a handful of "fights".
We have read the book and been through classes at church and through the foster system.
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:12 PM   #11
Luck_of_the_Draw
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Proper care and feeding of husbands........


23 years
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:14 PM   #12
dhall
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35
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:17 PM   #13
Fishndude
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The divorce rate of parents who have lost a child is high. I consider my marriage strong and it didn’t come from reading a book. But if that’s what works for some, I’m all for it.

27 here.
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:25 PM   #14
tex4k
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Coming up on 40 yrs this year, and yes sometimes it's hard for me to decipher female speak, I just gotta remember to keep listening, she'll get to the point eventually. Then remind her that just because I get to the point doesn't mean I'm upset.
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Old 11-12-2017, 10:25 PM   #15
klooney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishndude View Post
The divorce rate of parents who have lost a child is high. I consider my marriage strong and it didnít come from reading a book. But if thatís what works for some, Iím all for it.

27 here.
Jeff, I can't imagine honestly, and you and your wife are definitely stronger than most. In my opinion, any strong marriage needs to be based in faith, which having never met you but read thousands of your posts I'm sure your marriage is! So congrats on 27 years, honestly quite the accomplishment everything considered!

This book is also faith based which was refreshing
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Old 11-12-2017, 11:22 PM   #16
JDH875
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Thumbs up

Great book
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Old 11-12-2017, 11:29 PM   #17
DUKFVR
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Never read the book ,but have always tried to see stuff from her side too & always treated her equal or better & it has worked Great for us. 31 + years together.
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Old 11-13-2017, 12:02 AM   #18
BmacBmac1
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Thanks, I am going to read it.

27 years here and still learning from her everyday!


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Old 11-13-2017, 02:24 AM   #19
lovemylegacy
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30 years...never read that book. Studied the Bible in the specifics of marriage and how you should treat your wife. Sometimes it is very difficult.
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:36 AM   #20
In-Yo-Grill
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Love, respect and happiness goes for BOTH people in the relationship. This attitude of happy wife happy life is BS. The men have just enough right to be happy as well. 25yrs here and I can tell you that it's a partnership. Both of you have important parts to play and no one person is more important than the other. That will only breed resentment.
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:50 AM   #21
randal
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Haven't read it but my wife has brought up that book before..
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:10 AM   #22
Tony Pic
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With the Mrs 33 years and married for 27 of them. 3 sons. Everyday is a struggle, but we make it work. Now with a empty nest, more important than ever.
Never read the book your referencing.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:15 AM   #23
Redraider
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We have read it twice through 2 different programs. I also recommend to those that are having marriage issues. It opens your eyes.

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Old 11-13-2017, 07:15 AM   #24
Phillip Fields
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Never read any books about it, but my bride and I will be celebrating 48 years in January.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:23 AM   #25
Mudslinger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phillip Fields View Post
Never read any books about it, but my bride and I will be celebrating 48 years in January.
Me either, but I have 44 years with my wife!
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:45 AM   #26
Tmag
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Great read, we had a men's class on it for several weeks.

42 years here and don't know what I would do without my loving wife.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:47 AM   #27
Fishndude
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tmag View Post
Great read, we had a men's class on it for several weeks.

42 years here and don't know what I would do without my loving wife.
Please tell me there was a womanís class also?
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:57 AM   #28
sbushee
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Your wife recommended the book?
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:58 AM   #29
chastings77
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Another great read...
Love and Respect Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
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