Parents with Step Kids (Expenses)

[Brinkley]

How do some of you guys and gals that have step-kids (I hate the term Step by the way) handle expenses of the older kids? Like purchasing a vehicle/insurance does the ex help with any of these expenses? What about college? My thoughts are it is 50/50 but I don't think it always is this way. My "new" kids father is a great dad, but I am a little concerned that we may be footing most of the bill for some upcoming larger "raising" kids costs. What I have communicated is that we will pay half of our kids undergrad and if the other parent chooses or financially cannot help then the kids would have to get student loans, which I hate!

What are you blended family folks thoughts?

[Grayson]

It's a nightmare. I pay about 99%, and it suuuuuuuuuuuckksssssssss.......

[systemnt]

They are 100% still his kids making him 100% responsible for raising them..regardless of who hes married to now.


jmo..

and I paid 100% of my kids expenses... my wife is fine with it.

[elkbowhunter]

Fair is 50%. Real life is much less most of the time but not always. I would have a sit down and get it sorted out sooner than later. I would start at 50/50 if your wife works if not bio dad should pay more. IMO. all negotiable. . Being a part of your new family is well...being a part. As far as college I'm not a fan of paying their way through college. They should work to help pay and you can pay part if thats what you want to do but its not a given. Also think about weddings. Who pays what there can get interesting. Its good to be open and honest about it. Sounds like you care...and thats a good thing!! I also think the term STEP anything is jacked. Just call you by your first name and this depends on the situation. Calling the non biological father DAD can be an issue depending on where the biological dad is in the picture. Good luck with its never easy but can be managed if everyone is open and honest. I would for sure take notes and date it.

[Charles]

It's a nightmare. I pay about 99%, and it suuuuuuuuuuuckksssssssss.......

But, your a lawyer....you can afford it

[randtx]

I have a stepson and we pay 50/50 for the big things that might go from house to house. He turns 16 next month and his dad and I split the cost of a used truck for him. We will also split the cost cost of insurance.

As far as paying for higher education, this has not been discussed with his dad, but my wife and I disagree. She wants to pay for his education, I was raised differently. My parents did not pay for my education, I went to the military. I refuse to pay for his college, however, I may use some of my military education benefits to help him out.

[Brinkley]

We actually just sat down and discussed it this morning. Molly and I with the dad and his wife. I really thought that they were going to pay half of the expenses but now it looks like they will only be able to do what they are financially able to do. They make probably 1.5 times what Molly and I make. Different ideas of life really. Both of them have MBA's and I really thought they would be more for the secondary education. It is what it is. We can only control what is ours. I thank God for blessing our family as it sits.

[Brinkley]

Again, the kids father is a good Dad no doubt, we just have different opinions. I will do my part the same for all 6 of our kids regardless of last name!

[randal]

I plan on just paying 100% of my step sons vehicle and insurance so if he gets in trouble and intake it away I don't have to listen to any bs about "well I pay half I don't want him to have it taken away. And so I don't have to worry about his dad wanting to borrow it and all that..

[KG68]

I want to post something ugly here but It isn't going to change anything that happened 20 years ago so.

[hank57]

i have 5 kids from 1st marriage new wife has 2 . i don't like to words step kid either. i now have 7 kids . i do the same for all 7 of them. none get any more or less. i don't want anything from the ex's but i would not hold them back from seeing the ex's either. when we married it was taking on all kids to be ours ,not your and mine. i know its hard some times but they all get the same.
if the ex give something to their kids thats ok . all the kids help each other . they don't always get along but it works out in the end.

[TxDispatcher]

I'm not expecting a penny from my two chosen kids father. If he contributes, then it'll be an added blessing. But I'm not counting on it happening. As for my birth son, his mother and I are both planning for his vehicle, college, etc. But my relationship with her is much better than my wife's relationship with her ex. I say plan on footing it yourself, and any help from the other parent is just a blessing when it comes

[systemnt]

i have 5 kids from 1st marriage new wife has 2 . i don't like to words step kid either. i now have 7 kids . i do the same for all 7 of them. none get any more or less. i don't want anything from the ex's but i would not hold them back from seeing the ex's either. when we married it was taking on all kids to be ours ,not your and mine. i know its hard some times but they all get the same.
if the ex give something to their kids thats ok . all the kids help each other . they don't always get along but it works out in the end.

Brady Bunch fan eh?
much respect

[huntinfool]

My wife's ex is a real POS. He almost went to jail for non payment of child support to the tune of 15k. I paid for everything. When he finally started making payments, my wife gave that money to the kids.

These boys are mine now. They call me dad and have for years.

Should he have paid, yes. But me fighting him every week was getting old. I just paid it all and was much happier.

[Team Roper]

When you marry someone with kids from a previous marriage guess what? The kids were a part of the deal yours as well as hers. Been there done that on both ends. This is one of the reasons the bible warns us about divorce and remarriage. It just does not make as much sense until you live it out.

Like every one is saying it is a negotiation game bottom line they are your kids now. Advise pray often and open mouth less.....