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Old 11-14-2017, 12:03 PM   #51
2B4Him
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My closest experience with divorce is my brother's, which is in the final stages. He is so ready for it to be final that he is agreeing to paying lots more than most of y'all are talking about (he does make pretty good money). He is agreeing to $2K/month CS, lots of expenses, plus contractual alimony of another $2K/month.
His soon-to-be ex is (as we have seen over the past 34 years of their marriage) crazy. But she claims God told her not to work until the boys are out on their own. BTW, both boys (10 year old twins) are on the autism spectrum.
Now, I personally believe that God designed women to be much better nurturers than men. All other things being equal, they are better at day-to-day parenting than most men. Men are still absolutely necessary to the healthy development of the child, however.
Traditionally, men have been the primary earners, even when the wife works outside the home.
So, women are nurturers, men are earners. They made babies together and now have to work out how the future looks when they split up.
It has almost killed me (physically, emotionally, etc.) when I've had to take sole care of my kids (when they were younger) for an entire day. Yet, that is what my wife does every single day. Me going to 'work' for 10 hours is day is much easier.
I understand the courts can be 'unfair' at times to men. But I also understand how difficult it is for a single mom to try to raise kids on her own, 24/7. If she wants to drink a glass of wine after finally putting the kids down after a rough day, she shouldn't have to sell her blood at the blood bank to pay for the bottle.
It is all an unfortunate situation, but the kids are often the losers when parents fight tooth and nail or build up hostilities over rights and obligations.
Prayers up for all you dads and moms trying to raise children apart.
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:06 PM   #52
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I think I'm getting snipped asap.
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:06 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by flywise View Post
It don't but it is happening all over the country
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/07/23...-isnt-his.html
This nation is going to hell!
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:08 PM   #54
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This nation is going to hell!
Agreed
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:13 PM   #55
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Basically the state of Texas bases child support off of 20% of said income for first child and an additional 5% for another child. So a total of 25% of your income if you have 2 or more with your ex.
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:26 PM   #56
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I am $1710 for one child.....feel any better? I learned to look at it like this, for only $1710 a month I don't have to be married to my ex which makes it feel like a bargain :-)
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Old 11-14-2017, 12:28 PM   #57
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Default Just venting/child supprt

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Originally Posted by flywise View Post
google that...it very well might happen

Several stories where non bio parent is paying for kids


I could not get my divorce in Houston because the judge wanted me to pay child support for a kid that was not mine. My ex-wife got pregnant from her boyfriend. Me and her had everything agreed to but the judge would not let us get divorced...... I had to go to another state. Took effect 6 years to get a divorce!


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Old 11-14-2017, 12:52 PM   #58
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Let me clarify. I was paying 600 a month before, but after adjustments/hearing, it is adjusted to over 1k. Our orders haven't been adjusted in years. The AG sent out the letter saying we can file a hearing for adjustment if we wanted. Obviously she chose to have the hearing. The new amount is legit (support plus medical) based on my pay, but man, it just sucks. Between that and taxes, I am only bringing home around 55% of my pay each period. Maybe I have no right to gripe, but to me it's a lot of money. Her husband works, and they have 3 children in the house (2 together, and mine). Like I said, I'm not looking for pity, or someone to tell me I've no right to gripe, just wanted to vent.
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Old 11-14-2017, 01:06 PM   #59
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I was very happy when I finally made my last child support payment. In all I paid over $200,000 in support to the ex. Also paid the medical bills. My two sons are worth every penny. They were raised right. My youngest is in college still so he only got more expensive.
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Old 11-14-2017, 01:10 PM   #60
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Yep, I'm in the same boat. 1300 a month plus I have to provide insurance for medical, dental, and vision. Whatever isn't covered by insurance we split 50/50; but she has my son on Medicaid (even though he has insurance through me) so they "pay" her half; and I say "pay" because they refuse to pay anything since he is covered on my insurance and I just get a bill through the state. I was also responsible for paying half of his daycare; you know, the daycare that was her grand mother's house and she charged 1200 a month and only watched him. The judge in TX stopped that nonsense. She also collects food stamps in both TX and LA, as well as housing assistance (her and her current boyfriend bounce between relatives' houses), and my son is on free lunches.

What does she do for a living? She's a student. A student that isn't enrolled in school and never has been. She lives off the child support and government assistance and whatever family she can sponge off until they get tired of her. My son is in kindergarten and is currently moving and will now be attending his fourth public school; two for pre-K and two for kindergarten.

For those wishing there was an itemized account of how child support is spent, there is and the state can provide it to you. It won't help though. The account showed everything she spent was at eating places, bars, nail salons, and clothing stores. She was also paying credit card bills with it. The judge didn't want to hear it, for all he knows she spent her own money on providing for my son and is then reimbursing herself. Want a real kick in the nuts? Every 60 days I have to go to court and defend myself against accusations of kidnapping (my wife posted something Pinterest about Disney world), being a government hating madman (my wife bought me a pistol for Christmas), being a terrorist (I worked overseas previously in the Middle East), being a racist (I worked for the Trump campaign), endangering my son (we bought a new car for my wife, it's a sports car), I'm dangerous because I'm deranged from "The PTSD (I served in the military), and interfering in his health and education (I signed up to receive an account for all of his school stuff like attendance and progress reports).

Like others have said though; me and my wife put our all into raising him the best we can with our limited time. He definitely sees the difference between the two households. It breaks your heart though when a five year old tells you that he likes your house because he gets to sleep in the same house every night.
Dang man, if I didnt know how screwed up the system is, I wouldnt believe it.
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Old 11-14-2017, 01:18 PM   #61
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Paid for sixteen years. The ex told me it wasn't for kids, but money I owed to her.
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Old 11-14-2017, 01:18 PM   #62
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"Get bitter or get better...life isn't fair..."

Be a man for your children, your children are your legacy after you are no more...and remember if your ex-partner didn't listen to you, make good decisions, etc when you were with her, what makes you think she will now, lmao!
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Old 11-14-2017, 01:28 PM   #63
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My sister was sued and lost by the father of her oldest son for child support. She's a total loser and didn't have a dime to give him, but it can go both ways.
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Old 11-14-2017, 01:42 PM   #64
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Been married forever. Raised two kids. My wife gets my whole check every month. 1k a month a bargain
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:03 PM   #65
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As a divorced dad many years ago, my kids are all grown with families of there own now, I would give anything to be a divorce court judge. Because I've lived it, there would be some p****d off women who had wished they had thought twice before deciding divorce was the best option.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:11 PM   #66
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If anyone has a son 13 or older he needs to read these threads. Hopefully it'll keep them from making these same mistakes.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:15 PM   #67
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Texas’ family code, chapter 161, states that even if one is not the biological father, they still owe support payments that accrued before the paternity test proves otherwise. In Cornejo’s case, that amounts to some $65,000.
That's just stupid.

So some chick can just say, "Hey this is your kid, now pay me $$$ a month?" Even though it's not your kid?

An insane person wrote that law.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:17 PM   #68
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That's just stupid.
Agree. Especially if the woman never let him in on the secret. Amounts to theft by deception in every other case besides paternity.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:24 PM   #69
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I'm starting to re-think the whole idea of having kids out of marriage. Some of these #s and figures would make me have to live on the street and take public transportation to afford child support.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:25 PM   #70
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I'm starting to re-think the whole idea of having kids out of marriage. Some of these #s and figures would make me have to live on the street and take public transportation to afford child support.
I don't think it matters if you are married with kids or not. Child Support is going to apply.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:40 PM   #71
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I have felt for a long time that in many cases, child support is more or less ex-spouce support. There is no way that a kid should cost the other parent (typically the man) $1000-1500/mo. As stared earlier, mom should be responsible for her half so double that number. Yeah, thatís total BS. I am not divorced and making child support payments thank god.
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Old 11-14-2017, 02:46 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by rockyraider View Post
I have felt for a long time that in many cases, child support is more or less ex-spouce support. There is no way that a kid should cost the other parent (typically the man) $1000-1500/mo. As stared earlier, mom should be responsible for her half so double that number. Yeah, thatís total BS. I am not divorced and making child support payments thank god.
I agree 100%. Another kick in the nuts the ex-wifes income sources aren't even taken into consideration. At the time of my Divorce ex was making close $80k a year.
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Old 11-14-2017, 03:31 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by Cull hunter View Post
Been married forever. Raised two kids. My wife gets my whole check every month. 1k a month a bargain
Good point, but they don't get to see their kids like they should. I feel for ya'll the system twisted. Just gotta be there for the kids and it will all work out in the end.
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Old 11-14-2017, 04:06 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by bcmuzzy View Post
As a divorced dad many years ago, my kids are all grown with families of there own now, I would give anything to be a divorce court judge. Because I've lived it, there would be some p****d off women who had wished they had thought twice before deciding divorce was the best option.
the sad part is the law incentivizes it.
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Old 11-14-2017, 04:36 PM   #75
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Default Just venting/child supprt

At least make it tax deductible. I canít claim it and the ex doesnít have to claim it as income. You can deduct gambling losses and alimony for Peteís sake. Iím lucky, the ex and
I live a few miles apart , and I can see my kids whenever I want. We donít have a schedule. If she has plans with them, they stay with her and vice versa.


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Old 11-14-2017, 04:37 PM   #76
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Originally Posted by Graysonhogs View Post
At least make it tax deductible. I can’t claim it and the ex doesnít have to claim it as income. You can deduct gambling losses and alimony for Peteís sake. Iím lucky, the ex and
I live a few miles apart , and I can see my kids whenever I want. We donít have a schedule. If she has plans with them, they stay with her and vice versa.


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No kidding or at least half of it!!!
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Old 11-14-2017, 04:42 PM   #77
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No kidding or at least half of it!!!
Blows my mind that you can pizz it away at a casino and deduct it.
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Old 11-14-2017, 04:51 PM   #78
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I, thankfully, have not been divorced. Two of my friends have some horror stories though.
One friend had to spend an extra $15,000 to get child molestation accusations expunged off his record. They were false with no evidence. This same lady has done the same thing to two other men. She gets child support from three men that she accused of child molestation. All three cases were thrown out, no evidence.

Friend number two, he owned his house before he met his wife, before they got married and before they had two kids. They get divorced, she got his 180 thousand dollar house! They had a 2013 truck paid off, she got the truck. They had a nice four door car that was paid off, she got that.

Both friends pay about $1700 a month in child support.

It's crazy how this system works!
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Old 11-14-2017, 05:00 PM   #79
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For friend # 1, I'd sue the chit outta her for defamation of character. She wouldn't have a pot to **** in after that award amount. That and he'd gain custody.

For friend #2, dude he got royally effed.
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Old 11-14-2017, 05:14 PM   #80
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I was very happy when I finally made my last child support payment. In all I paid over $200,000 in support to the ex. Also paid the medical bills. My two sons are worth every penny. They were raised right. My youngest is in college still so he only got more expensive.
This!!!!!
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:35 PM   #81
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Cheaper to keep her.
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Old 11-14-2017, 06:54 PM   #82
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Not divorced but my parents are. It wasn’t always smooth but over time, they learned to work together. Eventually, my mom agreed to stop child support because they had shared custody (and she didn’t feel that my dad owed her anything). I cannot thank my parents enough for making me their priority, versus focusing on hating each other. It’s amazing how much I learned about marriage by growing up through divorce.

It’s clearly a flawed system but, for those of you who are divorced with kids, please remember that your kids will grow up and they will eventually know the truth. For some of you, that should be a comforting feeling. For others, it should scare you to death.
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Old 11-14-2017, 07:11 PM   #83
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Not divorced but my parents are. It wasnít always smooth but over time, they learned to work together. Eventually, my mom agreed to stop child support because they had shared custody (and she didnít feel that my dad owed her anything). I cannot thank my parents enough for making me their priority, versus focusing on hating each other. Itís amazing how much I learned about marriage by growing up through divorce.

Itís clearly a flawed system but, for those of you who are divorced with kids, please remember that your kids will grow up and they will eventually know the truth. For some of you, that should be a comforting feeling. For others, it should scare you to death.
My parents divorced when I was 6 the youngest of 4 boys. They worked everything out before court. Then my mom's friend talked he into a lawyer and he tried to hose my dad for every penny. She dumped him pretty quick. They respected each other to much to let lawyers screw things up. It was different back then ( i think ). The norm these days seems to be suck every penny out of someone then ask for more.
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Old 11-14-2017, 07:29 PM   #84
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So what would an itemized list look like? I am not trying to start trouble here. I help raise two of my children by sending their mom money every month as well. Far more than anyone on here has mentioned. I think it is fair and have no problem doing so. We do not even have it court ordered. We left the court out of everything except the legal divorce papers. We have worked everything else out since. Here is what I would expect to see if she was to send me an itemized list
Rent = $1,200/3 in the house (my two kids and her) = $400 per person
Utilities/cable etc.. = $300/3 = $100 a kid
Groceries = $450/3 = $150 a kid
Transportation $450 car payment and insurance/ use for school and activities say .57cents a mile (irs number) 500 miles a month for both kids (school, sports ect...) $285 for both kids.
This does not include cell phones, clothes, sports, etc..
Total here would be $1,585 a month for two kids.

Not saying this is high or low, just what I figure it takes my ex based on what I feel she probably pays for. If she goes and gets her hair done or goes on a vacation does not matter as it is not in the base cost or needs of my kids.
How Ibroke mine down
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Old 11-14-2017, 07:47 PM   #85
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You can hire a Mexican hit man for around $1500.......so I hear......




Honduran cheaper. Just saying


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Old 11-14-2017, 07:51 PM   #86
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I paid $ 525.00 a week, medical, and got to see her maybe a weekend out of the month, I KNOW what her mom did w/ the money since this was partly why I divorced her, among several other things, and paid for till she turned 18, and decided to drop college, that ended my support. Guys I feel for you all, its rough to see a child "once in a while" and know what her mama is doing w/ the money.. god bless each and every one of you paying...

And to make it worse, I have seen her 1 time in 9 years since she married.. this past saturday, and she avoided me like a plague... At a memorial service..
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Old 11-15-2017, 02:23 PM   #87
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Let me clarify. I was paying 600 a month before, but after adjustments/hearing, it is adjusted to over 1k. Our orders haven't been adjusted in years. The AG sent out the letter saying we can file a hearing for adjustment if we wanted. Obviously she chose to have the hearing. The new amount is legit (support plus medical) based on my pay, but man, it just sucks. Between that and taxes, I am only bringing home around 55% of my pay each period. Maybe I have no right to gripe, but to me it's a lot of money. Her husband works, and they have 3 children in the house (2 together, and mine). Like I said, I'm not looking for pity, or someone to tell me I've no right to gripe, just wanted to vent.
So did you go to the hearing too? You should have had a chance to show your bills and plead your case to not have to do the full % taken out. The AG office will push hard to get the full amount because thats more money for them but ultimately its up to her so she could have taken less too or even no increase at all.
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Old 11-15-2017, 02:46 PM   #88
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Been paying mine for the last 11 years and only have 6 months to go!!!!! I agree it sure would be nice to be able to use it as a Tax Deduction.......no such luck.
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Old 11-15-2017, 02:54 PM   #89
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No way in heck it costs $1,000 per month to raise a kid. .
I giggled at this. A lot.
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Old 11-15-2017, 03:26 PM   #90
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If I run into this, I will have no problem telling my 18 year old how much her mama was given. The month my CS stopped having to go to daycare by ex bought a 30k car and a trip to mexico with her bf.
So you have no problem telling your kid that itís not his fault what mama did but you want to screw him over anyway? Can you video the lunch in the face he should give you?
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Old 11-15-2017, 03:29 PM   #91
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My daughters daycare alone is $750/Month, I would think the cost of raising her far exceeds $1000/month. It is a tough pill to swallow if your ex has remarried and lives lavishly. I can see both sides of the argument here, hopefully this will make people on the brink of divorce think twice!!!
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Old 11-15-2017, 03:31 PM   #92
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So you have no problem telling your kid that itís not his fault what mama did but you want to screw him over anyway? Can you video the lunch in the face he should give you?
you and trump must get your facts from the same place
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Old 11-15-2017, 03:41 PM   #93
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Never been divorced or paid child support but some of this stuff is ridiculous. Especially being forced to pay on children that are not yours.

I can definitely see how it doesn't sit well with folks to pay a ton of money in child support when it gets squandered instead of being spent on the child.
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Old 11-15-2017, 04:58 PM   #94
ThePumaLives
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Child support is only for 50% of the support the child needs, the other 50% comes from the custodial parent. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works though. The stuff I posted earlier was only the minor stuff she's filed in the last year, I could fill up pages of this thread with the more major stuff. Every single thing she's ever filed (be it criminal or civil) gets thrown out, but no judge will touch her because "she's just confused and overwhelmed" by being a single mom.

Funny that paying for a kid that's not yours got brought up though, this exact situation happened last time I was in court. Guy found out the kid wasn't his, got the state to do a DNA test, test proved it wasn't his, state recommended his child support cease, Judge said nope. According to the judge, the child is the number one priority and so the guy will have to continue to pay until the mother informs the court of who the real dad is and then he starts paying child support. Anyone want to take a guess on how long it will take her to name the real dad?
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Old 11-15-2017, 09:01 PM   #95
Grndchecker
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Paid for 15 1/2 years. Paid for insurance and half the medical cost. Never got to claim him on income tax as a dependent even though it was supposed to be joint. She moved over 300 miles away, so every other Friday and Sunday either me or my wife would fight Houston traffic to meet halfway, which I drove further by 40 miles.
One thing not brought up was that even though child support is paid and a lot agree that it doesn't take $1000 or more to raise a child, what is forgotten is that the person paying child support also has to have all the things the child needs when they stay. House, car, bed, toys, clothes, shoes, etc... My ex would send my son down in old clothes and shoes that were usually two sizes too small. I would bring a change of clothes and shoes just so he could be comfortable and wouldn't look the way he did.
Karma got her, though. Less than two years after I was done with paying, her new spouse got a phone call to take a DNA test. Yep it was his, six years old. Now they have to drive two hours the opposite direction every other week for 12 more years along with CS payments.
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Old 11-16-2017, 07:45 AM   #96
Goldeneagle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by flywise View Post
google that...it very well might happen
Several stories where non bio parent is paying for kids
Yeah, but the deal is, she already had this kid before her and my son even met.
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Old 11-16-2017, 07:50 AM   #97
drbonner
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Originally Posted by BrandonA View Post
Child Support in Texas is so lop sided. I pay $1500 child support + 100% of her Health Insurance and 1/2 of medical and 1/2 of Tutoring. All added up it comes out to about $2000.00 a month. No way in hell does it cost that much to raise 1 child in Burnet County that attends public school.
All of those bills should be covered by the child support, but thatís just my opinion
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Old 11-16-2017, 07:59 AM   #98
Graysonhogs
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Originally Posted by drbonner View Post
All of those bills should be covered by the child support, but thatís just my opinion
Yeah, court doesn't agree though.
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:07 AM   #99
switchbackxt
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Originally Posted by Brinkley View Post
So what would an itemized list look like? I am not trying to start trouble here. I help raise two of my children by sending their mom money every month as well. Far more than anyone on here has mentioned. I think it is fair and have no problem doing so. We do not even have it court ordered. We left the court out of everything except the legal divorce papers. We have worked everything else out since. Here is what I would expect to see if she was to send me an itemized list
Rent = $1,200/3 in the house (my two kids and her) = $400 per person
Utilities/cable etc.. = $300/3 = $100 a kid
Groceries = $450/3 = $150 a kid
Transportation $450 car payment and insurance/ use for school and activities say .57cents a mile (irs number) 500 miles a month for both kids (school, sports ect...) $285 for both kids.
This does not include cell phones, clothes, sports, etc..
Total here would be $1,585 a month for two kids.

Not saying this is high or low, just what I figure it takes my ex based on what I feel she probably pays for. If she goes and gets her hair done or goes on a vacation does not matter as it is not in the base cost or needs of my kids.
I am a former child support payer. Just needed to get that out of the way.

Corrections to the above need to be made.

Rent $0.00 as she needs a place to live anyways so that shouldn't be figured in. If she can't afford a place to live, then she doesn't need custody of the child.

Utilities $0.00 she needs utilities regardless of whether she has custody or not.

Groceries $150

Transportation $0.00 she needs transportation anyways.

Cell phones are not a necessity.

The recipient of child support should have to submit receipts for everything the child support money is used for. If this was the case, I would bet that there would be a lot less vacation destinations on the recipients list.
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:22 AM   #100
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My brother just got divorced and they went 50/50 custody. This made it so that he didn't have to give child support.

Best thing since his ex is a total pot-head and is worthless when it comes to handling finances.
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