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Old 05-16-2018, 01:54 PM   #1
CrookedArrow
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Default Stop fighting Cancer........

Lots of threads on here all the time about cancer. Both my parents suffered from cancer. My mom had a double mastectomy in the early 90s. She had bone cancer 3 other times in her left jaw. Her last stint was in her left lung. She passed away 2 1/2 yrs ago. Not from cancer though as she had other ailments.

My dad had prostate cancer 25 yrs ago. He is still kicking at 78. My MIL is in the later part of stage 4 cancer as I write this. Nothing more that can be done. They are just going day by day and month by month. She suffered from breast cancer as well.

Read it and you can decide for yourself. Cancer sucks. I can see where some of it plays a major role in hyping a person up to try and beat the disease. I think at some point you have to realize there is no more that can be done.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/migh...202908069.html

“’Fight’ and ‘battle’ means that you can either win or lose,” he says, adding that “journey” and “survivor” can also be controversial. “If you think about it, who are the other survivors that we talk about other than cancer survivors?” Saria says. “You don’t talk about someone being a diabetes survivor or a stroke survivor.”

It’s often patients in palliative care who struggle with this terminology the most, Martha Aschenbrenner, licensed professional counselor with the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “The idea of a battle always has a sense of personal responsibility and accountability,” she points out. “For a lot of people, they feel like it puts the onus on them to survive their cancer.”

When it comes to helping people figure out how to mentally grapple with a cancer diagnosis, Aschenbrenner says she often asks the patient to define the terminology they’re comfortable with using. “I ask people, ‘What does this feel like to you?’” she says. A lot depends on a person’s stage of life and their generational perspective. Those who are older tend to look at it as a battle, while younger people typically view cancer as something they have to learn to live with, Aschenbrenner says.
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Old 05-16-2018, 02:41 PM   #2
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Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
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Old 05-16-2018, 03:02 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"

At 76, my dad just said this last weekend, as hes battling a series of issues with his lungs and heart. Coming from the strongest man you've ever known its a tough pill to swallow.

Prayers for you and your family.
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Old 05-16-2018, 03:23 PM   #4
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July 24 will mark 10 years since my mom passed away due to ovarian cancer. She "battled" it until she chose not to. Her oncologist was a great doctor, with no patient relationship skills. After the cancer came back for the second time he told her, basically, at least she knew what was going to kill her. Cancer is an insidious, relentless foe.

Tuffbroadhead - Had to wipe the eyes brother. That's kind of what i have in mind when my time comes.

Prayers up for those "battling", patients, family, friends, et al.
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Old 05-16-2018, 03:34 PM   #5
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Its the only thing on this earth that scares me. Grandfather mother and other aunts and uncles have died from one kind or another. When it my time I will not go out without a fight.
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Old 05-16-2018, 03:35 PM   #6
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Its the only thing on this earth that scares me. Grandfather mother and other aunts and uncles have died from one kind or another. When it my time I will not go out without a fight.
I will not burden my Wife and family with a pile of bills.
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Old 05-16-2018, 03:40 PM   #7
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Tuffbroadhead. Wow! Thanks for sharing that. My great Aunt called it "The ****edable Disease." As she slowly watched it take her daughter away. I watched as it killed my grandmother and mother in law also. Everyday on this Earth is a blessing in my eyes. I think if cancer finds me I will probably walk into the woods and not come back, but I don't know.
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Old 05-16-2018, 04:05 PM   #8
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One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
My dad said "I didn't know dying was going to be like this..."
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Old 05-16-2018, 04:12 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
Man, what a testimony! That was HARD to read! You sir are a living example of Proverbs that teaches us to honor our parents. My dad didn't want all the fuss made over him either. He passed in December of '99 and was buried on Christmas Eve... All these years later, there's hardly a day that goes by that I don't think of him and it's kinda funny what I say about him pretty regular... the older I get, the smarter I realize my dad was... Sounds like yours was much the same. God bless you sir and thank you for sharing such a tremendous story with us!
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Old 05-16-2018, 04:13 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
Sorry to hear you lost your dad, Dale, but thanks for sharing this. I agree with your dad. If I am diagnosed with terminal cancer, then there is no way I am going to spend the last months of my life suffering from chemo treatments just to eek out a few more months. We are all going to die. Spend the last days living as much as one can, not being miserably sick from chemo.
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Old 05-16-2018, 04:18 PM   #11
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I figure there are two general scenarios this relates to with cancer.

One is that its old age. Its gonna be the cancer or the heart disease for most of us. Making the decision to not burden family is commendable I believe.

The second would be someone who has not had their run at life yet, children, teenagers and those all the way up through mid life.

My Nana battled cancer her last 8 years on this planet. She was finally in remission and in her 80s but still sharp as a tack. They told her it came back and she called everyone to let them know she would not be fighting it this time and died very soon after. My grandfather who had a bad heart decided at the funeral it was his time too so he told my dad who then told me and my brother to say our goodbyes as he was going to stop taking his heart meds. He died I believe 2 weeks later. Its the youth that hits you the hardest. My cousin who was like my brother as we grew up together fought brain cancer at 21. They "got it all" and then one night he went to bed and didn't get back up. They found a baseball sized tumor inside his skull. That **** killed me, when you aren't expecting it and they are so young. Sucks.

I kid around with my wife but not sure how much I am really kidding that when its my time I am gonna say my goodbyes, rent a fishing boat out of Galveston and buy enough fuel to get out to the outer banks and not back.

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Old 05-16-2018, 04:43 PM   #12
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Lost my pops to cancer as well after he fought if for some time. Once it came back for a second time it was all over his body and he too decide it was no longer worth the battle.

Prayers up for all of the people currently fighting the battle, the ones that have decided it's time and all of their families.
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Old 05-16-2018, 04:53 PM   #13
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Saltwaterslick: Love your parallel to Proverbs and kind words spoken of Dale.
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:03 PM   #14
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Give me cancer all day every day over Alzheimer's. I haven't had a back and forth conversation with my mom in 5+ years yet I see her every week.
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:13 PM   #15
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Cancer sucks. My mom died of lung cancer at age 53. That was a tough season in life for me and my family. One thing is for sure, my mom was as tough as nails...her body was weak but her mind was strong. I learned a lot about mind over matter during that time.


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Old 05-16-2018, 05:21 PM   #16
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Sorry to hear you lost your dad, Dale, but thanks for sharing this. I agree with your dad. If I am diagnosed with terminal cancer, then there is no way I am going to spend the last months of my life suffering from chemo treatments just to eek out a few more months. We are all going to die. Spend the last days living as much as one can, not being miserably sick from chemo.


Absolutely this. Both my parents had cancer but my dad passed due to heart issues before the cancer could take him. My mom had lung cancer and we didn't want to lose her so she agreed to chemo. It was horrible. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and still have guilt. Diagnosed in December 2000 and passed March 2001. I would have much rather had a shorter time with her than what she went through. I might fight it up to a certain age but it won't be long before I would just walked away
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:24 PM   #17
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Give me cancer all day every day over Alzheimer's. I haven't had a back and forth conversation with my mom in 5+ years yet I see her every week.
That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease as well.
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:32 PM   #18
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one of my closest friends diagnosed with lung cancer over two years ago - life expectancy was 6-8 months.

He took all the treatments he could - then he got into an experimental treatment at MD Anderson. Drives two hours each way one time per week to get the treatment. He looks and feels great and the cancer is stable.

He chose to fight and so far it has given him two years of additional quality of life.

It is an individual choice as to fight it or not - not an easy choice either way
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:42 PM   #19
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My mom died of lung and brain cancer in 1988, she was 46. I was only 15 but the memory of her suffering from both the cancer and the chemo has me convinced if I get diagnosed with terminal cancer, I am not putting my family through that. It's not the money, it's the fact that people that love you suffer "almost" as badly as the person diagnosed. I can't see an adjustable hospital bed now without my mind seeing her laying there sick, bald, and crying. And that was from the chemo not the cancer. I know advancements have been made in cancer treatment since then, but I can't shake that image even after over 30 years. Saying "Cancer Sucks" is an understatement.

To me, it is definitely a fight or battle. But I would honor the wishes of a friend or loved one if they asked me not to call it that.
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:54 PM   #20
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Wow,
I’m at work reading these stories and I know people are wondering what is wrong with me.
My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer 9 months ago and given 6 months to live.
He decided to fight, he said there was a lot left to teach his 5 and 8 year old grandsons.
He had a rough time after his first 3 chemo treatments. We went on to figure out that it was his blood sugar levels that were out of wack. Got that lined out and 14 treatments later he is doing great. He also started researching natural remedies asap and I truly believe that is what is helping him. He and my Mom are flying to Cabo tomorrow to celebrate a good report from M.D. Anderson last week.

Great reading all of yalls stories and I will pray for each of you.
There is something that sticks with me that my Dad said the day he was diagnosed “ my timeline was made the day I was born, cancer doesn’t change it, it is in his hands”
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Old 05-16-2018, 05:56 PM   #21
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Cancer sux, period! As a “survivor” it is something I do not wish on my worst enemy. It is scary, painful, and very trying. If I had to name one thing that is the absolute worst though it would be that there is a cure, actually multiple but, there is no money in a cure. The things that have been proven to combat C are completely natural (pot just easies the pain) but the FDA has outlawed them. I beat mine by breaking the law and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Prayers to all afflicted and effected by cancer!


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Old 05-16-2018, 05:59 PM   #22
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Cancer sux, period! As a “survivor” it is something I do not wish on my worst enemy. It is scary, painful, and very trying. If I had to name one thing that is the absolute worst though it would be that there is a cure, actually multiple but, there is no money in a cure. The things that have been proven to combat C are completely natural (pot just easies the pain) but the FDA has outlawed them. I beat mine by breaking the law and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Prayers to all afflicted and effected by cancer!


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I agree with everything you said.

Look into B17, turmeric, Frankincense to name a few.
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Old 05-16-2018, 06:03 PM   #23
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I agree with everything you said.



Look into B17, turmeric, Frankincense to name a few.


B17 is awesome but, it is very hard and costly to get in high dosages


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Old 05-16-2018, 06:49 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
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Old 05-16-2018, 07:17 PM   #25
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Give me cancer all day every day over Alzheimer's. I haven't had a back and forth conversation with my mom in 5+ years yet I see her every week.


Amen Brother.
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Old 05-16-2018, 07:18 PM   #26
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Cancer sucks. My mom died of lung cancer at age 53. That was a tough season in life for me and my family. One thing is for sure, my mom was as tough as nails...her body was weak but her mind was strong. I learned a lot about mind over matter during that time.


Skinny


Love you Skinny

F^^* Cancer
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Old 05-16-2018, 08:16 PM   #27
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As a cancer patient, and doing well at present, and losing my father in 2001 to mesothelioma, this thread has struck close to home. There was a time when the 1st treatment selected for me caused me to lose 40 lbs and I was losing hope. Didn't want to visit with anyone but my wife and children. Went to bed each night not sure I would wake up. But I still wanted to fight, and feel like I will if and when it returns. I can also understand not wanting to continue a treatment that makes one feel worse than the disease knowing the end is near and it wont make any difference. I am thankful and get reminded how lucky I am seeing some of the other people receiving treatments when I get my infusion every 2 weeks. While I plan to live a long time yet, I will still treasure every day I have left to spend with my children and grandchildren like I will be gone next week. Reading this thread has made me more emotional than I have been in over a year, and reminded me none of us are promised tomorrow.
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Old 05-16-2018, 09:34 PM   #28
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Give me cancer all day every day over Alzheimer's. I haven't had a back and forth conversation with my mom in 5+ years yet I see her every week.


This^^^ for sure

Alzheimer's takes the mind first then the body. Absolutely horrible. I remember my grandfather sitting at the kitchen table looking at a kitchen chair and asking me what it was. He said "What's that?" I look and only see the chair. I said "what do you mean?" He said "that thing right there," and points to the chair. I said "you mean the chair." He said "yes," then started crying and said, "I'm so stupid, I don't even know what a chair is anymore." That was in the early stages. It eventually took everything

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Old 05-16-2018, 09:43 PM   #29
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Sorry to hear you lost your dad, Dale, but thanks for sharing this. I agree with your dad. If I am diagnosed with terminal cancer, then there is no way I am going to spend the last months of my life suffering from chemo treatments just to eek out a few more months. We are all going to die. Spend the last days living as much as one can, not being miserably sick from chemo.
Had a great friend that was later diagnosed with cancer after he passed out at church. When the doctor told him that with chemo treatments he might live another three to six months, he said no thanks. He didn’t see any purpose in being even sicker just prior to passing. Man it’s really tough when a close friend tells you face to face that he is dying.
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Old 05-16-2018, 09:51 PM   #30
texansfan
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16 years ago my unk was diagnoswd with stage 4 prostate cancer
He told the doc "Fu#k Cancer!" and went on living his life.
I'll see him in Dallas tomorrow and he still smokes a pack a day
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Old 05-16-2018, 09:55 PM   #31
CabezaBlanca
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Originally Posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
God bless you sir!
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Old 05-16-2018, 10:03 PM   #32
shea.mcphail
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Originally Posted by MassMan View Post
Give me cancer all day every day over Alzheimer's. I haven't had a back and forth conversation with my mom in 5+ years yet I see her every week.
Lost my grandmother back in ‘09 to Alzheimer’s. I remember one of my last visits with her. She was staring out the front room window sitting in her nice armchair. My mother told her, “Shea is here.” She said my name a few times and went back to staring out the window. She hadn’t been able to say anyone else’s name in a while before that. It made me feel a little special, yet guilty at the same time. Here was the woman that always finished our phone conversations with, “guess what? I love you.” Every time. Without fail.

I never want to experience that sort of hell.
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Old 05-16-2018, 10:40 PM   #33
BigCohiba
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Lost my mom almost 2 years ago to metastatic breast cancer which had worked its way into her bones and lungs. This was after a long remission period, rediagnosis, multiple rounds of chemo, radiation, and surgery. She was a fighter - but she was also on a mission. All of this coincided with my dad suffering from severe dementia. She made it her mission to take care of him. He passed away peacefully at 91 not knowing who any of us were. He always knew who my mom was though. It was great to see his face light up when she entered the room. Once my dad was gone, her mission had been fulfilled in her mind. She passed in the hospital 6 months after my dad died - pneumonia due to cancer in the lungs. She knew the end was near prior to the pneumonia taking hold. She said “this is no way to live” on a few occasions. I couldn’t disagree with her after all she had been through. She was 83 and sharp as a tack. My dad was an awesome man - but my mom became my hero over time based on my observations of how she cared for my dad. I hope my wife loves me that much - lol.

From my perspective cancer and dementia are both terrible. One rots the body while the individual is completely aware and suffering both physically and mentally. The other rots the mind but the individual doesn’t really know what’s happening. Which is worse? Who can really say? They are both horrible.

Every day healthy is a gift. Enjoy it like it’s your last day in this world - it could be!
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Old 05-16-2018, 10:48 PM   #34
bboswell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuffbroadhead View Post
Or you can stand up, shake hands with the Doctor and Explain to him that 74 years was a long life filled with great memories and ask the him "How long do I have to make arrangements"? On February 26th 2018 my Pops did just that , he was told 3 maybe 4 months before it would take him. 64 Days later on May 4th, 16 days before his 75th birthday he left this world.

What I learned from this as a son, there are two types of fights that are going to happen.

One is from the person that has been diagnosed and wants to fight for more time on this earth, or they want to fight to let go.

The second is from the family that wants to fight for every moment that can get with the person they love.

As humans it is in our very nature to fight to survive , even when there is no chance to do so, it is what and who we are.

Pops didn't want to fight, but he did not give up either, He told me what he wanted and I agreed to enforce his last wishes even though I knew it was going to cause me problems. I watched him go from being semi active, to needing help with more things, losing weight, and having lots of visitors at the house, family dinners every Sunday. And then it was time, he was losing his fight slowly but he said..Son, its time. I don't want any more visitors, no more family, I don't want them seeing me like this, I enforced his wishes. 3 weeks later found us helping him in and out of bed, that evening he fell out of bed trying to stand one last time on his own and his lucidity was fading. I picked him up and made the call to hospice that the time was near and I wanted to move him into town. 2 days later he opened his eyes while I was rubbing his head and my mother was on the opposite side of the bed, he looked around at us and closed his eyes and drew his last breath..no funeral or services would be held, as he wanted it to be.

One thing that stuck with me was something my Pops said.."I didn't know dying was going to be so hard"
Powerful message!

My Step Father is fighting stage 4 bone and lung cancer now. Based on past experiences I never expected him to fight it yet he is.
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Old 05-17-2018, 03:13 AM   #35
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I have lost loved ones to cancer and to Alzheimer’s. My MIL is on the down hill slide from Alzheimer’s right now.

My wife has a good chance of having it too.

I hope I do not put anyone through what I have gone through and expect to go through again.
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Old 05-17-2018, 08:59 AM   #36
Texastaxi
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My paternal grandpa died from kidney cancer, before I was born.
I don't know what treatment he took, if any.

My paternal grandma died from gastrointestinal cancer about 15 years ago.
She beat colon cancer, and lived 20 something years past that. She didn't take any treatment for the cancer that took her. I don't know if that was by choice or because she didn't know what was happening.
I remember her laying, moaning, in a hospital bed, 2 days before she died. She was not a woman that complained about pain, so I knew she was suffering.

My dad died from 3 different cancers, this January, combinations of what his mother and father had.
His was treated first with surgery. Then radiation. Then chemo pills; the first of which he tolerated well, but didn't do anything to slow down his very aggressive cancer. The last pills they had him on, made him very sick. He lost a LOT of weight and went from a normal person to just a shell of a man, in the course of 3 months. I was with him the last 4 days of his life, and even in that short span, it was painful to watch his decline. I still have nightmares, almost every night, about those four days. He fought for as long as he could; I think it was for Konnor, more than anything. January 3rd, the day I left here to go stay with him, I had the last coherent conversation with him. I was kneeling by his recliner, with my head in his arm. He told me, "this is part of life". I knew then, that he had fought as long as he could. He left this world on January 6th.

Is it worth the fight? If you asked him, he'd tell you that every extra minute that he got to spend with Konnor was worth every bit of misery that he endured. I think it's different for everyone. The doctors told him that the cancer would kill him; there was no known treatment for what he had. They tried everything they could to extend his life, even though none of it worked.

I hope that Konnor doesn't have to see me, the way I saw my dad, but with the history of it, in our family, I believe it's inevitable. This has consumed me, since my dad's death. Every minute, that my mind is idle, is spent thinking about this.
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Old 05-17-2018, 09:19 AM   #37
CrookedArrow
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I totally agree with the statements above on when it is time to leave this earth,then it is time. Someone stated about young children and younger adults and going through cancer.

Yes. If either of my daughters had a serious disease I would hope they could fight it and win of course. Then again I see them just starting in life and would like for them to be here for a while.

I am by no means kicking our older generation to the grave. If I were to live to be 90 in my mind I think I got a fair slice of this place we call earth, living and experiencing. I hope that makes sense.

My MILs cancer is so bad the rib bones are literally being dissolved by this awful disease. She is on the pill for cancer. There is no reversing this cancer or stopping it. Hard to grasp for my wife.

Death is imminent. As much as we are a part of living dying has to come to us. It is a hard fact to deal with. It is a full circle. Some of us are blessed to borrow time for many yrs and others are not so fortunate.

Watching someone die more so a loved one is an etch in your brain that will NEVER go away. I watched my mom in Hospice for 4 months as she slowly passed a long struggle with her diseases.

I have told my wife. If and when I ever come to that stage where it is time. I ask the Good Man above to please not let me go through what I have seen in my past. Like others stated. At that time it may be time for me to go out find my peace and not return.
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