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Old 05-15-2018, 08:14 AM   #51
JHT
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Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post
She wants a bigger closet, yard and bathroom. I wouldn’t mind having a little bit more yard.


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Any way you can add on & remodel to your current house?

The need for the bigger yard for the dogs or just more space?
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Old 05-15-2018, 08:14 AM   #52
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Glad my wife is the opposite. Our house was paid off 5 years ago. We will most likely never have a house payment again. Talk to her, and find out why she wants to move. If its gonna double what you pay on a mortgage, I would have to say no way. But I dont really need anything fancy to live in.
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Old 05-15-2018, 08:30 AM   #53
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How do I tell my wife no? Get in my truck, drive to the next town over and send it in a text.
Lol
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Old 05-15-2018, 09:17 AM   #54
stickemhard3
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I am open and up front about our 5 and 10yr plans. If we want to add something not already listed, we either need a bump in pay during that particular time frame or subtract some of the items listed. Finances are easy bc numbers don't lie. The problem is people lie to themselves about the numbers.

List out your 5yr and 10yr plan and have her do the same. Independent of each other and without discussing with each other. Negotiate the differences. List vacations, vehicles, investments, house, childrens college, etc. Build this from your current salaries with projected savings minus bonuses/ot. That should be a good start.
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Old 05-15-2018, 09:18 AM   #55
AgHntr10
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Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post
She wants a bigger closet, yard and bathroom. I wouldn’t mind having a little bit more yard.


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Is there not any alternative areas you can build to get those things without doubling your mortgage?
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Old 05-15-2018, 09:22 AM   #56
breederbuck33
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My wife was doing the same thing to me. We were in need of a house but we were not on the same page on what we wanted at all. Then one day she sends me a link on the "Make me move" section. The house wasn't ideal for me, but the price was much lower than the surrounding houses. I told her to pursue that one if she liked it. We ended up buying the house for much less that it was worth. We were able to do a 15 year mortgage and keep the note where we wanted it. if you look the house up on realtor today it shows its estimated value 55K over what we paid. That being said, she may end up finding you the perfect place if she is persistent enough! She wanted a neighborhood home like a sardine can neighborhood and that's what she got. I wanted 1-3 acres with chickens and goats. Now that we are in a neighborhood she wants chickens and goats too, so we are going to save up some more money, sell our house and build on some property in a few years!
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Old 05-15-2018, 09:46 AM   #57
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It's easy for my wife and I. Either time one of us wants something that affects our "Company funds" (Yes, we each have our own personal account, and a joint account for "our" stuff), we sit down, look at our budget, and see what we can adjust to afford it. We never add money to our joint bucket. Then we save for months to make it happen. If we can't figure out how to make it happen, it doesn't happen.

My suggestion, sit down with your budget together, and work through how you can afford a new house. You never know, it might be possible if you cut back in one or two area's and make it happen.

This is how I got my new Traeger on the list of things to purchase.
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Old 05-15-2018, 09:55 AM   #58
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Sounds like y’all will compromise and buy a new house...
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Old 05-15-2018, 10:12 AM   #59
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I look at housing and other real estates different than most any other purchase. They should be an investment if a 20-year note or fewer payments are in your budget. If at retirement you don't want a mortgage, sell and downsize.
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Old 05-15-2018, 11:44 AM   #60
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Is there not a middle ground that you would both be happy with like a new(er) house that isn't 2x as expensive? I agree with everyone that said its a discussion that needs to be had. I guess my wife and I are really open and direct when it comes to large purchases but she makes close to the same money I do and our checks go into a joint account. We're married and not dating, not planning on getting divorced so there is not need to keep money separate.

Good luck

We're been in this house for 3 years and are already starting to look for a different one because we had a kid and the schools here are **** but the North Texas market is stupid high right now
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Old 05-15-2018, 11:47 AM   #61
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Nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo.
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:12 PM   #62
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Is this for real?
My thoughts exactly.
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:35 PM   #63
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How do I tell my wife “no”?

“Yes, ma’am”
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:46 PM   #64
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Default How do you tell your wife no?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JHT View Post
Any way you can add on & remodel to your current house?



The need for the bigger yard for the dogs or just more space?


There is no way to remodel the areas she wants done.

The yard is something we both want. She is someone who likes change and starts getting the itch to change things about every 4 or 5 years.


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Old 05-15-2018, 12:46 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by hooligan View Post
Is there not a middle ground that you would both be happy with like a new(er) house that isn't 2x as expensive? I agree with everyone that said its a discussion that needs to be had. I guess my wife and I are really open and direct when it comes to large purchases but she makes close to the same money I do and our checks go into a joint account. We're married and not dating, not planning on getting divorced so there is not need to keep money separate.

Good luck

We're been in this house for 3 years and are already starting to look for a different one because we had a kid and the schools here are **** but the North Texas market is stupid high right now
there are plenty of reasons other than the ones you listed to keep separate accounts - my wife doesn't work but we deposit "her" money in to her account - we sat down when we had the discussion about her staying home to raise our kiddos and came up with an amount that fit our budget and was comfortable for her - everyone is different especially when finances are concerned but for us personally it gave her the financial independence she felt she might be giving up by no longer working and it keeps us from griping at one another about what we are spending "our" money on each month
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:52 PM   #66
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How do you tell your wife no?





NO
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:52 PM   #67
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Are you handy? If so, see if you can meet in the middle and find yourself a fixer upper. You could actually build some sweat equity into the house and get something that you both are satisfied with.
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:54 PM   #68
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So she has half the money and all the goods. She'll have all the money soon enough...
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:54 PM   #69
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Build her a house. Happy Wife Happy Life.
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Old 05-15-2018, 12:55 PM   #70
gingib
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I’m weird I just say no
Me too....

But then again some of yall let the wife run the show
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Old 05-15-2018, 01:17 PM   #71
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She probably heard a preacher say "If mamma ain't happy ain't nobody happy"

I find that talking about "the big picture" always helps them to understand things better with their wants and needs.
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Old 05-15-2018, 01:23 PM   #72
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It is difficult sometimes not to be able to give your better half everything they want, but I guarantee it is a conversation worth having.

Have a nice dinner, and make the experience enjoyable. Have a plan going forward to make other ways to get other things.
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Old 05-15-2018, 01:36 PM   #73
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My wife hounded me bad to move. I can not tell you how many homes I got dragged to looking for the one we got. Her feelings are hurt because I've said this just doesn't feel like home.

We bought this one because she liked it, it had what I wanted, and I was flat worn out of seeing all the Zillow URLs.

And if she goes out and gets a Realtor the pressure to go see more homes gets real retched up.

You can say no all day long, but if your wife is anything like mine, she's going to be OCD about a new house.

I wish you luck.
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Old 05-15-2018, 01:54 PM   #74
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sounds like you are screwed. you cant tell her she doesn't need those things cuz then she can say well you have a diesel and never pull anything so you don't need it. just like on TBH lol
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Old 05-15-2018, 02:12 PM   #75
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Originally Posted by BigL View Post
So she has half the money and all the goods. She'll have all the money soon enough...
Not ALL the goods. Just hers.

I kid, I kid
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:23 PM   #76
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My wife did the same thing she was sending me new houses pic in texts. I told her no and a week gos by and new house pic start showing up on my phone again. I told her next house pic she sends me she would be cut off from Sunday fun days. Haven’t got a new house pic in two years!
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:32 PM   #77
Charles
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Be cheaper to get a new wife
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:37 PM   #78
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I’m weird I just say no
That's pretty much it lol. But then my bride of 35 years wouldn't buy a house with mortgage payments that were double of what our house was monthly so it's not relevant.

She's much too frugal for that.
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:44 PM   #79
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Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post
There is no way to remodel the areas she wants done.

The yard is something we both want. She is someone who likes change and starts getting the itch to change things about every 4 or 5 years.


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Tell her you like change every few years too and if she keeps pushing for a new house you may just change to a new woman.
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Old 05-15-2018, 03:49 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Be cheaper to get a new wife


Believe me that’s not always the case. I’d rather use....it’s cheaper to keeper!


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Old 05-15-2018, 04:00 PM   #81
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Tell her she should have had this feeling when rates were in the 3% range!
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:10 PM   #82
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Some of y'all are hysterical and under the assumption that you know better than your mate. While that may be the case from time to time, I know a lot of y'all and most of you would just be better off shutting up & listening.
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:10 PM   #83
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Ask her if she'd rather have a new house or retire 10 years earlier
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:14 PM   #84
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:18 PM   #85
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If my wife knew about this board, there’d be “How do you tell your husband no?” threads all the time.

She is always happy. I get bored easily and always want something new and ridiculous.
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:22 PM   #86
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Originally Posted by Black Ice View Post
There is no way to remodel the areas she wants done.

The yard is something we both want. She is someone who likes change and starts getting the itch to change things about every 4 or 5 years.


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Have you been married that long yet? If not just wait till then and she may want a change at husband

All joking aside good luck. My house is on the market now and will be moving in with my mother in law while we build. But we need a lit bigger house and building is cheaper than buying here so I cant help you too much.
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:25 PM   #87
AgHntr10
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I found the perfect place for you. 2 acres, on a golf course and a 3 story 3000 sq.ft closet.
https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4...70331545_zpid/
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:26 PM   #88
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so what kind of a NEW house are you going to get ? cause you know you gonna give in ! we all do !
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:33 PM   #89
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I can't give you any tips on how to tell your wife no.....but congrats on the new house!
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:35 PM   #90
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HAPPY WIFE-- HAPPY LIFE.

God Bless
Bish
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Old 05-15-2018, 04:44 PM   #91
MQ32Shooter
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I didn’t know you could tell your wife no! Hey, it’s worked for me for 50 years!
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Old 05-15-2018, 05:39 PM   #92
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony Pic View Post
And Dad lived happily ever after. Love the ending to that story!



How do you stay happily married when she made you do something you did not want to do and you have to work longer and harder?
I don't buy the happy wife happy life thing. I am in this marriage also and I count. Not just the money either.

Tell her we can't do it and thats that.
Every line in this statement could be used from her point of view also.
Is staying in the same house, "making her do something she doesn't want to do?
Isn't she in this marriage also? I especially like that its followed up with "we cant do it and that's that" line. You do realize this whole statement contradicts itself
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Old 05-15-2018, 05:56 PM   #93
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I have no problem saying no but I’ve been known to be selfish. She rarely questions my expenses for hunting or fishing and lets me travel anywhere at anytime for those activities.


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Are you ready for this to change?
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Old 05-15-2018, 06:23 PM   #94
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How do I tell my wife "no"?

I don't very often, but when I have to it usually just sounds like "No".

Jennie wanted a new house last year. We could afford it and she wanted to move closer to the kids school. It would also put me closer to my office and we'd been in our house for 15 years. We already had a big house, so we bought a bigger house and spent a wad remodeling it. We put our old house on the market and moved into the new one. Seven months later, I told her "I'm moving back to Riverwalk and selling this house. I don't like the neighborhood, the neighbors or the fact that we have no acreage...start packing our ****". She said, "God, I'm glad you said that. I hate it here and can't wait to go back HOME." We put that house on the market and had a contract in four days. 2016 was a colossal cluster with us moving all our stuff in May and back in December....our kids call it our midlife crisis. We got lucky that the Harvey floodwaters stopped three doors down from that Kingwood house and we sold it for a good profit. My next move will be to the cemetery.

Sometimes, the grass ain't any greener. I don't have a problem telling my wife "no" and she doesn't have a problem accepting it. I told her years ago, "you might cut me off, but you can't make everyone cut me off".
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Old 05-15-2018, 06:31 PM   #95
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I’ll sell you my house


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Old 05-16-2018, 09:31 PM   #96
Black Ice
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Originally Posted by esp View Post
If you have no think about it , then you probably can't comfortably afford it.


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That’s not the case. It’s more about does it make sense. I love to fish but can’t justify having buying a boat because I know I would use it once a month at most. I also want a UTV that would cost 15k but would only use it 8 times a year. I have thought about both for a long time but haven’t purchased one.


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Old 05-16-2018, 09:43 PM   #97
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I have no problem saying no but I’ve been known to be selfish. She rarely questions my expenses for hunting or fishing and lets me travel anywhere at anytime for those activities.


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That makes it simple......just tell her no cause it would keep you from being able to do those things. Just be a bit more selfish.
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Old 05-16-2018, 09:45 PM   #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duckologist View Post
Yes, it's not that difficult but I see some of you guys have made life really hard for yourselves lol. The OP even said his wife LETS him travel to go hunting. She LETS him??? WTH???

You took the word let’s literally. My wife knows that the 5 weeks vacation I get a year 3 weeks are spent hunting and 2 weeks are for her. I always communicate my hunting schedule with her and every once in a while she gives push back mainly around the holidays. It’s usually that she’s not spending Thanksgiving with my family while I’m hunting and the same for New Years.


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Old 05-16-2018, 09:46 PM   #99
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If you been married over 30 years and ya'll are both over 60 just play dumb. If that don't work? Tell her that this subject real turns you on & start bugging her every day & night for a BJ & some good lovin'. She will start ignoring you right quick & in a hurry! Works for me! If that don't work!? Buy a motorcylce and take a one way ride to Cuba. #2 Is a winner, winner chicken diner!
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Old 05-16-2018, 09:56 PM   #100
Black Ice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Artos View Post
I think she lost sight of the goal if this is the case...keeping up with Jones maybe??



Show her a plan of putting the said overage into your current mortgage...you are pretty young & can tell you there is a great sense of weight lifted when the mortgage is paid and no debt.


The problem is we don’t have a goal but that’s something we should work on. I’m not much a planner for anything so that doesn’t help.


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