parents supporting grown kids?

[Snowflake Killa]

I woke up one morning and my parents left me

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[Tony Pic]

Raised 3 boys and they are all off on their own. One works on turbine engines (Rolls Royce and GE), one is LE one is a CPA.
My Pop told me, when we had our first was born that, our job as parents is to prepare our kids for a world without us being there. While it is sad when kids fly the coop, it is reinforcement that they are ready to fly, and you have done your job.
My youngest received the most monetarily. With his grades and direction. He was a sure bet. Let him take the college loans(I co-signed), so he had skin in the game. I paid the loans while he was in school. He walked out of college with a masters and a full time job at a major accounting firm making just under 100k. He took over the loans.


Help your kids if you can, but NOT to a detriment.
Gifts are great, but lessons learned are greater.

[K. Lane]

I'd do anything for my kids as long as they're doing for themselves. But...I didn't raise my kids to want to be taken care of by their parents forever. I raised them to want to go out and make something of themselves. I can guarantee you that if you traced back the lives of these deadbeat "kids" you'd find some parents that were enabling them long before they became adults.

Yes sir, grandparents are sometimes the worst enablers.

Both of these......SPOT ON

I and my wife have 8 children from 22 down to 8. I've always joked that their graduation gift would be a watch so they won't be late for work and a suitcase to pack their belongings in so they can vamoose outta my house.
The 4 that are over 18 are gone. 1 works for the state and has his own family, one has her scholarship and attends OU, the other 2 live in my inlaws garage apartment, attend Lonestar Community College, and (for the most part) support themselves.

My wife and I decided years ago that, though we love them dearly, we refuse to cripple them by supporting them after they are adults

[TXJIM]

Failure to launch is a failure by the parents as much as the kid.

[mpotts]

My kids are out on there own and self sufficient both kids are married and have purchased homes. .It is sad to see the 25-45 yr old children still dependent on parents to house them and feed them.

[HogHunter34]

I’m 45 & I’ve teased my dad that I might just quit my job & move in with him and just hunt & fish year around while I manage his investments

Seriously though. I have a 17 yr old daughter who can be indecisive on career choices but at least she constantly talks college & career options which shows she is thinking in the right direction. She’s narrowed her choice down to the medical field which I applaud

[Slew]

I woke up one morning and my parents left me

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At the Grand Canyon???

[Acameron52]

I don’t have kids yet but when I do they won’t be kicked out right at 18 unless they’re worthless. If you’re living at home while going to school, cool. If you’re living at home saving up for a house, cool. If you’re living at home because you’re a lazy POS, not cool.


I moved out as soon as I graduated high school for two years. Went to school, partied and some how landed a good job. I then moved back in until I was 23. The whole purpose of me moving back home was to put money in the bank so I could buy a house. I was fully supporting myself, and paying rent but it was much easier to save money living there than in an apartment. I’m a firefighter so between my full time job and part time job I only slept there about 15 nights a month, add in trips to the deer lease and I was seldom home. It worked out great for me as I was able to buy my first home at 23. Looking back I would do it again, and would do the same thing for my kiddos.

[gingib]

I moved back home after my brother and I sold our house, as I had less then 10 months until I was getting married.

But it was just a place to sleep as I paid all my bills and did everything on my own including a full time job.

[Rush2Judge]

One son will be 22 in June and is living at home.


He graduates in 2.5 weeks and will either be going to grad school or accept the job offer from his internship last Summer. If it is the latter, I expect he will continue to live at home until he has built up a nice emergency and trasportation fund.

We paid for both boy's college. The downside for them is they shared a '95 Jeep. Worked out well for the eldest since he is a Petroleum engineer and was given a truck to drive (Sales). The youngest won't be that lucky.

[TeamAmerica]

I was having a visit with 92 year grandmother. I try to visit and have a whiskey with her once a month. She mentioned that my uncle (who is 70) came by to ask for money and she gave him some but " told him this was the last time and money tree is all dried up!". we shall see.

my FIL on the other hand knows we don't need the money but always peels off $200 in cash to give us for "gas and groceries and such". he is just a generous guy.

it is harder than some know what is generosity and what is abuse....i would always give my kid a home if they needed one, but i would be the first one to make sure they had a plan to get back on their feet.

[Smithwr]

Not sure I agree letting them live at home to save up money for a house. Like when my mother in law wanted to live with us while she paid down her credit cards........NOPE!


But I dont understand them not wanting to leave either, when I turned 18 me and a buddy rented a little shack with holes in the floor and nothing but a swamp cooler and were dang proud to just be free. We would splurge on a block of dry ice for the swamp cooler on the summer weekends

[Dale Moser]

There is a severe lack of pride, particularly among males of the species these days.

[Troutamer]

Pathetic and abusive. The parents are allowing themselves to be abused by the "kids". When you legally become an adult you are responsible for yourself. My oldest is 18 and about to graduate. I told her if she isnt in a trade school or college she is out on the street. Period. As a parent I will help, for the ( actual ) good of the "child" but not be abused.

Not saying, in any way that we shoudnt help our kids to succeed in life, but what I see nowadays is far beyond that.

Or the parents are abusing the "kids" by not giving them the self respect and dignity of living their own lives and providing their own way.

[jaker_cc]

There is a severe lack of pride, particularly among males of the species these days.

Nailed it, very few from the younger generation are being raised to be men. Self sustaining, responsible, accountable, hard working men that take pride in doing a good job.

My dad used to tell me that the way you do anything is the way you do everything. Don’t be half-***