Blond jokes. What ya got.

[76aggie]

Q: Why do blondes have exactly one more brain cell than a horse?

A: So they won't poop in the road during the homecoming parade.

[BigThicketBoy]

A blond Longhorn student was on her way to Houston to see her parents.
When she didn't show they called her to check on her.
They asked her why she didn't come after she said she was on her way.
She explained that before she got there she say a big sign saying Houston Left, so she turned around and went home.

[BigWes]

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw a box of Cherios?

A: Oh my gosh! Donut seeds!!!!

[Tx_Wader]

So a blond Protestant girl and a Catholic boy had been dating for a little over a year and had abstained from sex due to the boy's attitude that they should not have sex before they are married.

Well they planned their wedding right down to having both a Minister and a Priest to preside and it was a beautiful March day for their wedding then it was off to a beautiful island for their honeymoon.

New new bride couldn't wait to put on a sexy outfit for her new husband and when she came out of the bathroom she found him dressed in shorts and a shirt watching TV. "Well what do you think" She asked? He looked at her and told her that she was beautiful.

She asks if he's ready and he replies, "ready for what?" "Well for us to finally have sex to consummate our marriage" She said.

He looked at her and said that he couldn't. She said what do you mean you can't? He said I can't because it's Lent.

She just stared at him and said, "Well that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of but who did you lend it to and for how long?"

[kcmarullo]

Why do blondes put TGIF on their socks? ( Toes go in first )

[sailor]

Ya know, how you can tell, a blonde was in your truck?


Footprints,on the headliner.......

[k-i-d-d]

There was a blonde, who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.

[lone star]

Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other "how do I get to the other side?" The other blonde shouts back "you are on the other side."

[PBUCKSHOT]

Smartest blonde in the world?































Golden Retreiver

[Stan R]

I blonde was talking to her best blonde friend/

She told her that last night she had a hot date with a Brazilian.

She ask how many was that.

[flatlander]

True story.

One blonde hands another blonde a handful of Skittles candy at a HS basketball game.

Second blonde spits them out and says 'Gross, these M&Ms are STALE!!!'

He new nickname from then on was Skittles.

[enewman]

A blonde calls her boy friend and tells him. I'm so proud of my self. He asked what did you do. She replies I put a puzzle together in two weeks. Boy friend ask and that is good. She replies yes on the box it reads 5 to 7 years.

[DawgOnIt]

Why do blondes laugh a jokes three times?
Once whey you tell them the joke,
second time when you explain it,
third time when they finally get it!

[PBUCKSHOT]

Blonde driver gets pulled over by a blonde cop. Blonde cop asks driver for some identification. The blonde driver hands the blonde cop what she thinks is her I.D. but is actually just a little square mirror. The blonde cop looks at it, stares at it, looks back at the blonde driver and says "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were a cop too!"

[Monark]

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:

The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”