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Old 11-14-2017, 09:39 AM   #1
robbyreneeward
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Default Just venting/child supprt

I am by no means saying I don't want to help my ex with my son, but my CS just went up to over $1000 a month. I have a decent paying job, and don't Mind paying my fair share, but I truly feel that's a little ridiculous. Maybe not. Wouldn't be so bad but she does not work, and her and her new husband literally take 2-3 vacations a year. Maybe I'm wrong in being upset, but in the last 2 years alone they've been to Hawaii, NYC, a cruise in Mexico, Florida, and I'm fairly sure they drove to Nashville at some point as well. Any other dads have/had to deal with this?
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:48 AM   #2
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I pay that, and it is steep, but I dont have to deal with her when it comes to money situations for my kiddos, so it's worth it.

She is re-married and does well. I dont understand why she needs my support anymore, but that's the way it is. I also dont understand why a Father who lives in the same school district and has never missed a child support payment in 6 years doesnt get his kids 1/2 the time.

Frustrating process for sure.
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:50 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by jer_james View Post
I pay that, and it is steep, but I dont have to deal with her when it comes to money situations for my kiddos, so it's worth it.

She is re-married and does well. I dont understand why she needs my support anymore, but that's the way it is. I also dont understand why a Father who lives in the same school district and has never missed a child support payment in 6 years doesnt get his kids 1/2 the time.

Frustrating process for sure.
Hate to hear it buddy. If y'all live in same district, should be a no brainer.
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:51 AM   #4
Mike Fangman
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Well ya, on a regular basis, my wife always just tells me, its none of my business what she spends the CS money on. I always say, "that's fine, but college is on you"
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:56 AM   #5
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Well ya, on a regular basis, my wife always just tells me, its none of my business what she spends the CS money on. I always say, "that's fine, but college is on you"
That only hurts the kid
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:57 AM   #6
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Yeah that sucks....why I can't stand when people marry so quick, knock up their girls, and don't understand a marriage is a covenant for better or for worse.

But to each their own. Best of luck
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:58 AM   #7
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I don't have any kids yet, but I've always been on the side of dads that get stuck with these outrageous child support bills. I also believe that this aspect of the legal system is grossly unfair in the favor of females.

Can you not request itemized statements and receipts to present to the judge? Mostly to say..."This 1000$/month is not supporting my kid..it's supporting their leisure".
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:59 AM   #8
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Thank God I'm not in your shoes but yes I agree that is a total sham. No way in heck it costs $1,000 per month to raise a kid. Besides you should only have to pay half of what it costs to raise them.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:00 AM   #9
BrandonA
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Child Support in Texas is so lop sided. I pay $1500 child support + 100% of her Health Insurance and 1/2 of medical and 1/2 of Tutoring. All added up it comes out to about $2000.00 a month. No way in hell does it cost that much to raise 1 child in Burnet County that attends public school.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:01 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robbyreneeward View Post
I am by no means saying I don't want to help my ex with my son, but my CS just went up to over $1000 a month. I have a decent paying job, and don't Mind paying my fair share, but I truly feel that's a little ridiculous. Maybe not. Wouldn't be so bad but she does not work, and her and her new husband literally take 2-3 vacations a year. Maybe I'm wrong in being upset, but in the last 2 years alone they've been to Hawaii, NYC, a cruise in Mexico, Florida, and I'm fairly sure they drove to Nashville at some point as well. Any other dads have/had to deal with this?
I have never been divorced but I know that my wife and I spend way more than 1k a month raising our daughter. Kids are expensive, bottom line! How old is your son and how often do you have him at your place?

I have several divorced friends/family that pay a hefty chunk of change every month. They all seem to feel the same as you do. My thoughts: If your ex is a good mom and raising your child right I think the courts have not been too hard on you. However, if your ex is always pawning your kid off on the grandparents and spending the CS money on herself I would be ****** as well. If the latter is the case your son will realize what is going on at some point and have some resentment towards his mother.

All you can do is make sure he is raised right while you have him, show him what a solid parent looks like. Fight for him if he is not getting the love and care he deserves at his mothers house. Be there for him as he grows up, and show/tell him how much you love him every chance you get. Time flies, I often wonder how my small baby girl is about to be 13.

Last edited by -HIC-; 11-14-2017 at 10:30 AM.. Reason: Called your son a daughter by mistake!
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:02 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Lawhunter View Post
That only hurts the kid
If I run into this, I will have no problem telling my 18 year old how much her mama was given. The month my CS stopped having to go to daycare by ex bought a 30k car and a trip to mexico with her bf.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:04 AM   #12
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Yeah that sucks....why I can't stand when people marry so quick, knock up their girls, and THEN SHE don't understand a marriage is a covenant for better or for worse.

But to each their own. Best of luck
fify

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Originally Posted by jer_james View Post
I also dont understand why a Father who lives in the same school district and has never missed a child support payment in 6 years doesnt get his kids 1/2 the time.
AMEN

Last edited by trjones87; 11-14-2017 at 10:12 AM..
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:07 AM   #13
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It only goes up after they are 18. College tuition, rent, utilities, gas, food, insurance, etc etc.....
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:07 AM   #14
Hung
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I raised my daughter & never got one cent from her mom & im raising my 8yo son now & have yet 2 see a effin penny...
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:08 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by jer_james View Post
I pay that, and it is steep, but I dont have to deal with her when it comes to money situations for my kiddos, so it's worth it.

She is re-married and does well. I dont understand why she needs my support anymore, but that's the way it is. I also dont understand why a Father who lives in the same school district and has never missed a child support payment in 6 years doesnt get his kids 1/2 the time.

Frustrating process for sure.

Heck we live less then 10minutes apart and I wanted 50/50 but courts decided it was in his best interest to not go that route. Never understood why they always lean in favor of the mother even if the father was a better living situation and still financially supports everything. I mean if the mother needs the support to financially support the kid and the father does not need the financial support wouldn't the father be a better home for the child? I don't think they look at it case by case but just make sure the current standard orders would be ok and just go with that.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:11 AM   #16
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:16 AM   #17
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Be glad your in Texas, my son is divorced in Calif. has one child and he has to pay $1,500.00 a month and is a School teacher, he can barely get by on what's left, I feel for you guys and hope you the best.

God Bless
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:17 AM   #18
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I gave up worrying about C/S years ago. Not a darn thing I can do about it so I'm not going to get twisted about it. I have sons to raise and that's the most important thing. I can make more money, I just have one shot to raise my boys. JMHO
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:18 AM   #19
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I wouldn't focus your attention to things you have no control over. I.e. where they take their vacations, or spend their money. It's just waste of your emotions and a drain on your life. Focus instead on things you can control, like the positive example you can set for him, doing your best to make sure he being raised as a Christian and has a good morale upbringing. Take him hunting and fishing whenever possible and enjoy the time you have together. Whatever mistakes were made are in the past, put them there and worry about the future, they grow up fast.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:20 AM   #20
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Same boat here, I was able to get it lowered a couple of hundred a month by remarrying and having a couple more kiddos.

It is reparation payments and nothing more. A single kiddo does not need $1000 a month. My other kids, under my custody, live off far less.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:26 AM   #21
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I feel for you. I thoroughly believe the person receiving the CS should HAVE to provide an itemized list of things that they spend the money on. It not only helps the person paying the CS feel like they aren't being taken advantage of, but also, if he/she sees that maybe something more is necessary, they would be more willing to help out past what the court orders. I'm raising my son completely alone and haven't ever gone after his father for child support because we are making it just fine. That being said, if he did pay for anything, especially if it was court ordered, I would want him to know what his money was supporting. Growing up, my Dad always had a decent relationship with his ex-wife and my Mom fully supported him helping his kids. I guess I just learned to get along from them, and try to be considerate across the board.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:29 AM   #22
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[quote=Bish;12924608]Be glad your in Texas, my son is divorced in Calif. has one child and he has to pay $1,500.00 a month and is a School teacher, he can barely get by on what's left, I feel for you guys and hope you the best.

God Bless
Bish[/QU

Yep, Orange County is more than happy to assist with the arrears my wife's ex owes us.....

For those that say you can't raise a child on $1,000 a month, the actual amount would be $2,000 per month with joint custody. Both parents are responsible but somehow it has morphed into the dad, in most cases, being fully responsible.......
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:30 AM   #23
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Ridiculous. I have absolutely not experience in the stuff but I have ALWAYS thought something was off. I can see paying a little bit but it seems to me if mom wants the kid to live with her than mom can pay for everything. If not, find a way to make it work for the better of the kid.

Last edited by Acameron52; 11-14-2017 at 10:37 AM..
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:30 AM   #24
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I raised my daughter & never got one cent from her mom & im raising my 8yo son now & have yet 2 see a effin penny...
Yep, have 2 from my previous marriage and have never tried to get child support. They are my kids and I will take care of them. The system is seriously flawed, and no question, the man gets screwed. Funny how they are soooo independent, they dont need no man, until it comes to child support. Then they wanna get paid.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:35 AM   #25
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Ridiculous. I have absolutely not experience in the stuff but I have ALWAYS thought something was off. I can i stand paying a little bit but it seems to me if mom wants the kid to live with her than mom can pay for everything. If not, find a way to make it work for the better of the mid.
Exactly, if you cant support the child, should you really be granted custody?
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:40 AM   #26
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Iím a single parent of 2 Kids. I get between $0-150 a month depends on if she works enough or not. It would be nice to get more than that but I think $1,000 a month or more is crazy. Especially if itís just for 1 kid.


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Old 11-14-2017, 10:41 AM   #27
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So what would an itemized list look like? I am not trying to start trouble here. I help raise two of my children by sending their mom money every month as well. Far more than anyone on here has mentioned. I think it is fair and have no problem doing so. We do not even have it court ordered. We left the court out of everything except the legal divorce papers. We have worked everything else out since. Here is what I would expect to see if she was to send me an itemized list
Rent = $1,200/3 in the house (my two kids and her) = $400 per person
Utilities/cable etc.. = $300/3 = $100 a kid
Groceries = $450/3 = $150 a kid
Transportation $450 car payment and insurance/ use for school and activities say .57cents a mile (irs number) 500 miles a month for both kids (school, sports ect...) $285 for both kids.
This does not include cell phones, clothes, sports, etc..
Total here would be $1,585 a month for two kids.

Not saying this is high or low, just what I figure it takes my ex based on what I feel she probably pays for. If she goes and gets her hair done or goes on a vacation does not matter as it is not in the base cost or needs of my kids.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:41 AM   #28
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While I understand that there are a lot of parents who abuse the CS that they receive, here is a statistic that is interesting, to say the least. Take it for what it's worth

Quote:
The Department of Agriculture says the estimated cost of raising a child from birth through age 17 is $233,610, or as much as almost $14,000 annually
And before anyone thinks that I don't know anything about the OAG's office and their CS guidelines, I've paid CS on 2 children and my wife receives CS for 2. I've made roughly half of what my wife's ex makes, and paid roughly twice what he pays. So I'm well aware of the lunacy of Texas OAG's method of how they figure things out. All I'll say is that my wife and I have kept our mouths closed concerning our exes, and over time the kids have seen for themselves what is happening. My advice is to treat your children as best as you can, be the parent that they need you to be, and they'll see the truth in due time
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:41 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by miket View Post
Yep, have 2 from my previous marriage and have never tried to get child support. They are my kids and I will take care of them. The system is seriously flawed, and no question, the man gets screwed. Funny how they are soooo independent, they dont need no man, until it comes to child support. Then they wanna get paid.
This pretty much sums up just how messed up our Family Court has become. Everything was 50/50 during the marriage. Why does it become the sole responsibility of the Parent, who does not get awarded custody, financial responsibility.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:49 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Brinkley View Post
So what would an itemized list look like? I am not trying to start trouble here. I help raise two of my children by sending their mom money every month as well. Far more than anyone on here has mentioned. I think it is fair and have no problem doing so. We do not even have it court ordered. We left the court out of everything except the legal divorce papers. We have worked everything else out since. Here is what I would expect to see if she was to send me an itemized list
Rent = $1,200/3 in the house (my two kids and her) = $400 per person
Utilities/cable etc.. = $300/3 = $100 a kid
Groceries = $450/3 = $150 a kid
Transportation $450 car payment and insurance/ use for school and activities say .57cents a mile (irs number) 500 miles a month for both kids (school, sports ect...) $285 for both kids.
This does not include cell phones, clothes, sports, etc..
Total here would be $1,585 a month for two kids.

Not saying this is high or low, just what I figure it takes my ex based on what I feel she probably pays for. If she goes and gets her hair done or goes on a vacation does not matter as it is not in the base cost or needs of my kids.
The numbers arent divisble by 3. She was going to have rent, vehicle, insurance regardless. Yes, some expenses are higher ( costs more for a house large enough for 3 vs 1, etc ) and should be accounted for, but the base cost should be taken out of the equation first. Also, since yall have come to an agreement, anything agreed to is fair. We are talking about a judgement rendered by the courts and forced upon the father.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:52 AM   #31
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My son got a letter from the AG just the other day. His ex is wanting him to provide health insurance for a child that is not his. I don't know why the AG even entertained the idea. The kid has a different name. Ain't happening.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:53 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by robbyreneeward View Post
I am by no means saying I don't want to help my ex with my son, but my CS just went up to over $1000 a month. I have a decent paying job, and don't Mind paying my fair share, but I truly feel that's a little ridiculous. Maybe not. Wouldn't be so bad but she does not work, and her and her new husband literally take 2-3 vacations a year. Maybe I'm wrong in being upset, but in the last 2 years alone they've been to Hawaii, NYC, a cruise in Mexico, Florida, and I'm fairly sure they drove to Nashville at some point as well. Any other dads have/had to deal with this?
Sounds like you have a great paying job and a good case of MTI. Her traveling the globe is really not your business and you knowing just makes you thinking thats where your money is going. You need to stop feeding that monster it will drive you nuts. Get out of the loop on her new life all you need to know is stuff about him nothing else. Not sure the age of your son but if old enough let him know too and you dont want to talk about mom unless its effecting him otherwise thats her business.

What were you paying b4? Is that the full 25% of your income?

Does that include you carrying him on your insurance too or paying her for carrying him on hers?

$1000 a month is only 250 a week and like 35.72 a day heck breakfast, lunch, and dinner will just about take care of that. And once he gets older and starts sports his food intake will double as will her grocery bill. lol

Dont forget the AG gets a % it think its like $25 per $500 they collect each month right off the top.

Ive paid my share and yes it sucked but was cheaper than keeping her and less stressful than the relationship.
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:54 AM   #33
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My wife got pregnant when she was 18, and we have 1 together, 1 on the way. I have been in the picture since he was 4. the father pays $400/month (which they agreed on without court). Her and I made a deal that it all goes into savings that the kid will get, not when he is "18" but when he is old enough to be smart with money. I don't understand these people that pay $1,000/month, i don't spend an extra $1,000 each month because he lives with us and if we depended on child support I would need to have another job.. we have never done it but I don't like the idea of the 50-50 time between houses. I think it would be too hard on a kid. I know I'd go crazy if I was living at two different houses, but at the same time I'd go crazy only seeing my kids 4 days a month.. it can be really hard on kids having split parents and I've seen it first hand. We have always gotten along but it can get tricky at times. Especially when your wife thinks one way and I have to agree with her ex on the situation!
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Old 11-14-2017, 10:55 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by miket View Post
The numbers arent divisble by 3. She was going to have rent, vehicle, insurance regardless. Yes, some expenses are higher ( costs more for a house large enough for 3 vs 1, etc ) and should be accounted for, but the base cost should be taken out of the equation first. Also, since yall have come to an agreement, anything agreed to is fair. We are talking about a judgement rendered by the courts and forced upon the father.
Fair point. I do believe the courts mess things up when they get involved. I feel it is best for everyone if you can come to your own agreements. I can, and have heard of cases where it seems the fathers have gotten worked over in these situations.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:07 AM   #35
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Yep, I'm in the same boat. 1300 a month plus I have to provide insurance for medical, dental, and vision. Whatever isn't covered by insurance we split 50/50; but she has my son on Medicaid (even though he has insurance through me) so they "pay" her half; and I say "pay" because they refuse to pay anything since he is covered on my insurance and I just get a bill through the state. I was also responsible for paying half of his daycare; you know, the daycare that was her grand mother's house and she charged 1200 a month and only watched him. The judge in TX stopped that nonsense. She also collects food stamps in both TX and LA, as well as housing assistance (her and her current boyfriend bounce between relatives' houses), and my son is on free lunches.

What does she do for a living? She's a student. A student that isn't enrolled in school and never has been. She lives off the child support and government assistance and whatever family she can sponge off until they get tired of her. My son is in kindergarten and is currently moving and will now be attending his fourth public school; two for pre-K and two for kindergarten.

For those wishing there was an itemized account of how child support is spent, there is and the state can provide it to you. It won't help though. The account showed everything she spent was at eating places, bars, nail salons, and clothing stores. She was also paying credit card bills with it. The judge didn't want to hear it, for all he knows she spent her own money on providing for my son and is then reimbursing herself. Want a real kick in the nuts? Every 60 days I have to go to court and defend myself against accusations of kidnapping (my wife posted something Pinterest about Disney world), being a government hating madman (my wife bought me a pistol for Christmas), being a terrorist (I worked overseas previously in the Middle East), being a racist (I worked for the Trump campaign), endangering my son (we bought a new car for my wife, it's a sports car), I'm dangerous because I'm deranged from "The PTSD (I served in the military), and interfering in his health and education (I signed up to receive an account for all of his school stuff like attendance and progress reports).

Like others have said though; me and my wife put our all into raising him the best we can with our limited time. He definitely sees the difference between the two households. It breaks your heart though when a five year old tells you that he likes your house because he gets to sleep in the same house every night.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:11 AM   #36
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I paid $1856 a month in child support for 2 kids. $1000 every two weeks on payday for spousal support. The mortgage on the house she lived in (lost the house in the divorce). Her and the kids vehicle payments and insurance. And 100% of medical, dental, and vision insurance on the kids.

I was soooooooo happy to see my kids graduate High School for many reasons
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:29 AM   #37
kcmarullo
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I feel your pain I paid 1500 a month plus insurance for 7 years not fun
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:35 AM   #38
Traildust
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You can hire a Mexican hit man for around $1500.......so I hear......
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:35 AM   #39
flywise
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Originally Posted by Goldeneagle View Post
My son got a letter from the AG just the other day. His ex is wanting him to provide health insurance for a child that is not his. I don't know why the AG even entertained the idea. The kid has a different name. Ain't happening.
google that...it very well might happen
Several stories where non bio parent is paying for kids
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:36 AM   #40
JLivi1224
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Your CS cannot be raised unless she filed the review paperwork which I believe is sent out every 3 years. However, a $1,000 increase is crazy. Review must show material and substantial change which of course is relative. At the state standard of 20%, it would take an awful lot make a $1,000 jump!
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:37 AM   #41
MySRT8U
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The average cost of raising a child to 18 is $245,340. That comes out to $13,630 per year, or $1,135.83 per month. At $1,000 per month you are paying 88% of the expenses for that child. Going by the national average that is.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:46 AM   #42
jer_james
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Originally Posted by MySRT8U View Post
The average cost of raising a child to 18 is $245,340. That comes out to $13,630 per year, or $1,135.83 per month. At $1,000 per month you are paying 88% of the expenses for that child. Going by the national average that is.
That number is ridiculous. I have my kid 40% of the time. So deduct that time that I have him, and am providing as well.

And I'm a lucky one - I pick them up Tues from school and take them the next day. Pick them up Friday and Take them Monday to school.

She's not paying for those meals or anything that goes on at my house.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:46 AM   #43
JLivi1224
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MySRT8U View Post
The average cost of raising a child to 18 is $245,340. That comes out to $13,630 per year, or $1,135.83 per month. At $1,000 per month you are paying 88% of the expenses for that child. Going by the national average that is.
And dependent on custody, this child is with him at most 50% of the time if he's lucky. Unless of course an agreement has been reached between the parents staying otherwise.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:46 AM   #44
JLivi1224
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jer_james View Post
That number is ridiculous. I have my kid 40% of the time. So deduct that time that I have him, and am providing as well.

And I'm a lucky one - I pick them up Tues from school and take them the next day. Pick them up Friday and Take them Monday to school.

She's not paying for those meals or anything that goes on at my house.
Bingo.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:47 AM   #45
Codyw48
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My wife and I were divorced for a few years. When we got remarried I had to stop the child support for coming out of my checks. AG found out I had over paid by a few thousand dollars and they made me sign a statement that said I wouldn't sue. Also, the state was the one taking the child support money out of my checks.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:50 AM   #46
MySRT8U
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jer_james View Post
That number is ridiculous. I have my kid 40% of the time. So deduct that time that I have him, and am providing as well.

And I'm a lucky one - I pick them up Tues from school and take them the next day. Pick them up Friday and Take them Monday to school.

She's not paying for those meals or anything that goes on at my house.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JLivi1224 View Post
And dependent on custody, this child is with him at most 50% of the time if he's lucky. Unless of course an agreement has been reached between the parents staying otherwise.
Y'all are correct, that doesn't account for the time he has his son.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:54 AM   #47
BrandonA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MySRT8U View Post
The average cost of raising a child to 18 is $245,340. That comes out to $13,630 per year, or $1,135.83 per month. At $1,000 per month you are paying 88% of the expenses for that child. Going by the national average that is.
I asked my ex if she felt she had any financial responsibility in raising our daughter and got all ******. But bottom line in many cases the father bears the majority of the cost.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:54 AM   #48
Texastaxi
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Originally Posted by flywise View Post
google that...it very well might happen
Several stories where non bio parent is paying for kids
In what twisted mind, does that even start to make sense?

I feel for all of you that are having to pay child support, and especially for the kids involved.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:57 AM   #49
RiverRat1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Traildust View Post
You can hire a Mexican hit man for around $1500.......so I hear......
Quote:
Originally Posted by flywise View Post
google that...it very well might happen
Several stories where non bio parent is paying for kids
At first glance I thought this post was replying to the one above

Quote:
Originally Posted by MySRT8U View Post
The average cost of raising a child to 18 is $245,340. That comes out to $13,630 per year, or $1,135.83 per month. At $1,000 per month you are paying 88% of the expenses for that child. Going by the national average that is.
The OP is now paying $2,000 per month. So he's paying almost double the national average.

Got to love how everything you see and hear is women are 100% equal in every way. Everyone is equal in every way...Until they figure out who the people are that make the real money that is and they want some.
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:59 AM   #50
flywise
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Originally Posted by Texastaxi View Post
In what twisted mind, does that even start to make sense?
I feel for all of you that are having to pay child support, and especially for the kids involved.
It don't but it is happening all over the country
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/07/23...-isnt-his.html
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