School situation with my 12 yr old

[jer_james]

I understand what you are saying and I do not agree with you, but that's ok.
We just think differently is all and again that's ok.

Yessir - Good luck to your Son!

[hooligan]

I'm not that old but I remember being able to scrap in the halls or the playground and half the time afterwards you would be buddies with whoever you just threw down with.

[Ætheling]

In the litigious pansy society we live in, he'll get in more trouble than it's worth. It sucks. The best thing you can do is support him. That doesn't mean hold his hand and tell him the world will be nice to him. Teach him that verbal BS is just that, and to ignore it as much as possible. The second it becomes physical, give no quarter. There's a difference between being a coward who is afraid to fight and a man who won't let some POS drag him down.

This. Life is full of “verbal *******s”. He is gonna have to learn to deal with them now or life is gonna come at him real fast. My .02 Cant meet words with fists these days as others have stated.


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[riverbowman]

Man, this all just makes me sick.

My friend's son was a freshman and was being verbally bullied by a much larger kid. It escalated to the occasional shove and the parents went to the school to formally document it. The other kids parents were asked to come in too. He told the school that they better get a handle on it or his son was going to retaliate physically. They said he cannot do that, no matter what happens to him.

Well, a week later the kid shoved him pretty good in the hall and his son laid the dude out. Other students said the bully made the initial aggressive move.

Punishment was severe and the system made sure they were both treated equally. It was sickening... Suspension, going before some kind of committee a couple of times to get brow beaten, having to write a paper on why violence is always wrong, making the boys sit down and apologize to each other, etcetera. This dragged out for a couple of months.

[Texas8point]

Just so happens I teach 7th grade in a urban district and at an alternative campus. I see dozens of kids every year who were bullied and took matters into their own hands. You and your kid need to document everything, what was said, when it was said, and most important is to make sure that he is informing an adult at school every time it happens. I see so many people on here advising to tell him to take the high road, brush it off, blah, blah, blah. Over 90% of the adults on here can't do that themselves but an adolescent who is raging with feelings of insecurity, hate, and even guilt is supposed to be doing this? Talk to him every night, tell him how awesome he is for battling with this every day and how much everyone loves him. Let him know it's a process to get it fixed and that it will stop. The school is ultimately responsible to keep their students safe and in a lot of cases it requires the documentation and most importantly the letting adults know. If your son justs goes off and swings at him without telling anyone about the issue then 100% your son will take the fall. The kids I see at my work who are bullied all have developed anger issues from dealing with this but almost all of them have no family support to help them. They are kids who have been let down by their parents and the school. From just you posting on here I know that's not the case with you. Tell your son to report it every time and you call the school every time as well. Hope this helps, hate seeing kids like this. It breaks my heart.

Thanks for this. I’m not a perfect parent, I mess up plenty. Good news is everyone else does too. Sound advice.


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[COOLDAD1]

Thanks for this. I’m not a perfect parent, I mess up plenty. Good news is everyone else does too. Sound advice.


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Agree

[antonlsu]

Correct me if i'm wrong, but aren't these kids surrounded by teachers all day, including lunch & recess?

Don't understand why they aren't taking measures to stop bullying before it happens & addressing it when it's occurring.

I understand high-school may be different, but in middle school & elementary you'd think the adults in the schools should be able to address this.

[COOLDAD1]

Correct me if i'm wrong, but aren't these kids surrounded by teachers all day, including lunch & recess?

Don't understand why they aren't taking measures to stop bullying before it happens & addressing it when it's occurring.

I understand high-school may be different, but in middle school & elementary you'd think the adults in the schools should be able to address this.

The situation with my son was on the field before football practice at 7:45 in the morning.

[RiverRat1]

Not 3rd graders, but 5th graders, I have 2 in my unit and there are a few more in Gen Ed.

And yes everything in the Gen Ed of almost any school in TX is or shortly will be screwed up. You can sign papers to have corporal punishment given by the principal but no one else. It is getting to the point that you can hardly touch a kid to discipline him.

There is basically no way to discipline a student today and these kids know it. We have elementary kids attacking teachers and other students and not just in this district.

And do not tell me that this does not happen in the smaller rural schools. I work in a behavior unit in a large district and we gets kids constantly from our outlying rural districts because they cannot handle the behaviors of these kids. DO not believe what these kids are capable of, come spend a few days in my unit and see what they are capable of and then see if you could do this day in and day out. It is not easy.

I have been kicked, punched, bitten, scratched, had chairs, desks, books, binders and anything they can pick up thrown at me, stabbed with pencils, bitten, clothes torn and peed on. All in a days work. I also had on TA that was physically assaulted and he ended up tearing some ligaments in his wrist defending himself and this from a 3rd grader all trying to protect other kids in the room.

We are legally able to restrain a kid, but these kids know what they can do to stop us and it is a very strict set of rues that have to be followed before we an restrain them.

Times have changed and it is not getting any better for the good students and a lot of your kids and unfortunately there are not enough people that can change things and some of these changes for the worse are coming from people that have no idea what is happening in our school systems and some that do not really care.

Have to ask. Was he humping you until he peed

My wife teaches 1st grade in a very good school or area. There's always at least one kid disrupting the entire school. It's crazy. This year it's a 5th grader that goes nut 2-3 times every week. He runs down the halls screaming curse words for 10-30 minutes. All the other classes have to basically distract their classes so they can't hear the cuss words. Been going on all year.

Last year was the puncher/biter/kicker. My wife was the only one(well cant say) but they couldn't touch either of these kids even just to control them.

[Mudslinger]

Being a teacher in a behavior unit in an elementary I deal with this on a daily basis. I have kids in my unit that bully and a lot of my kids get bullied by Gen Ed kids because those Gen Ed kids know if they can set my kids off, then my kids usually get in trouble not from hitting another kid but having escalated behaviors and possibly destroying a room. Some of these Gen Ed kids think this is funny. Documentation from the one getting bullied and support from a teacher and admin is key also. Some admin and teachers blow this off and that just escalates the problem. If my kids in my unit bully someone in Gen Ed or one of my other students, they will pay somehow and if they are bullied by a Gen Ed student and tell me about it, I will personally deal with the other student. I have had many meetings with an entire class about what will happen if the bullying continues.

Document, document and document and if the teachers or admin are no help contact someone at the Central office of the school.

Unfortunately in today's wussie society, this is the way it has to be done.

Thing is give me a paddle and the right to use it and this bullying and behavior will stop. period!

[Mudslinger]

Have to ask. Was he humping you until he peed

My wife teaches 1st grade in a very good school or area. There's always at least one kid disrupting the entire school. It's crazy. This year it's a 5th grader that goes nut 2-3 times every week. He runs down the halls screaming curse words for 10-30 minutes. All the other classes have to basically distract their classes so they can't hear the cuss words. Been going on all year.

Last year was the puncher/biter/kicker. My wife was the only one(well cant say) but they couldn't touch either of these kids even just to control them.

Thankfully no. First grader that was standing about 7 or 8 feet away from me and when he whipped it out I thought no way he could hit me, but he peed and hit my shoes!

[Mudslinger]

Have to ask. Was he humping you until he peed

My wife teaches 1st grade in a very good school or area. There's always at least one kid disrupting the entire school. It's crazy. This year it's a 5th grader that goes nut 2-3 times every week. He runs down the halls screaming curse words for 10-30 minutes. All the other classes have to basically distract their classes so they can't hear the cuss words. Been going on all year.

Last year was the puncher/biter/kicker. My wife was the only one(well cant say) but they couldn't touch either of these kids even just to control them.

I am guessing the school she teaches in does not have any sort of a behavior unit?

When I talk about a behavior unit, all my kids are either diagnosed with an Emotional Disturbance or one of 13 OHI's. Other Health Impairment such as Fetal Alcohol, ADD, ADHD, etc.

[ByronB]

Correct me if i'm wrong, but aren't these kids surrounded by teachers all day, including lunch & recess?

Don't understand why they aren't taking measures to stop bullying before it happens & addressing it when it's occurring.

I understand high-school may be different, but in middle school & elementary you'd think the adults in the schools should be able to address this.

You are not wrong.....however, you may have the hallway, the bathroom, and at recess they cannot watch everyone. It’s not something that will ever go away. I believe though it starts at an early age and only escalates once they get older and bigger. Not saying kids can’t change though. Too many factors involved.

[mastercraftka]

Lots of crappy advice and lots of good advice good luck!

I have been in education for 24 years 19 as an administrator 7 of those years were at a middle school. Pm me if you need some advice not saying I am the all knowing but I have seen lots and dealt with lots of these issues.

[dmk]

Teach your kids some comebacks. I've found that a sharp tongue and embarrassing the other kid will often end it, a lot of times that is more intimidating in a weird way.