Originally posted by Worksalot
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Ever considered premarital counseling?
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It's a great program that most church's offer and it gets you a discount on your marriage license if it is a certified program by the state.
For most couples that communicate you won't get much out of it. What I learned is that there are a lot of people getting married that shouldn't. The older couple we did the class with told us they have a lot of couples come in that have never had a conversation about the following: Do you want kids, Who will pay the bills, What is our monthly budget, Retirement, Sex, Religion, Political Opinions, Boundaries with In-laws.
Scared the crap out of me that people are going to get married and have never talked about if the other person wants kids.
Go into it with an open mind and see what you can learn to help build your marriage. If you think you have nothing to learn you're delusional.
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Originally posted by robie View PostIt's a great program that most church's offer and it gets you a discount on your marriage license if it is a certified program by the state.
For most couples that communicate you won't get much out of it. What I learned is that there are a lot of people getting married that shouldn't. The older couple we did the class with told us they have a lot of couples come in that have never had a conversation about the following: Do you want kids, Who will pay the bills, What is our monthly budget, Retirement, Sex, Religion, Political Opinions, Boundaries with In-laws.
Scared the crap out of me that people are going to get married and have never talked about if the other person wants kids.
Go into it with an open mind and see what you can learn to help build your marriage. If you think you have nothing to learn you're delusional.
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Originally posted by Shane View PostI couldn't disagree more with the comments about how it's unnecessary.
It's one of the best things you can do if you want to have a successful and happy lifelong marriage. Also, make sure it isn't the last thing you and your spouse (after you're married) do together to learn how to do life together better. Take more classes. Read more books. Get involved in more marital enrichment offerings at church, etc....
It doesn't matter who you are or who you pick as a mate. Marriage takes effort. It requires work to grow into the person you need to be to fulfill your part of the relationship. When both of you put in the work, it works out great. If at least one of you won't, then the wheels are eventually gonna fall off. Guaranteed.
And I'll add this.... It's been my experience, both with myself and with others, that if you're opposed to doing this kind of stuff it's a big sign that you really need it. I know I was definitely very uncomfortable with the idea at first, because I was afraid to have to admit I had areas that needed improvement. I didn't want to have to give in on some things I was being selfish about. Everybody else I've ever known that fought against any kind of counseling or class was doing so for pretty much the same reasons. We all, especially men, want to hang on to selfishness and are afraid of being honest about ourselves. It's hard to step up and be honest about yourself and to let go of whatever version of selfishness you have going on in order to put your wife's best interests ahead of your own selfish interests. But that's what God calls husbands to do. He tells us to love our wives like Christ loved the church. (Hint: Jesus willingly gave up his life for the church.) Being that kind of husband ain't for sissies.
Originally posted by robie View PostIt's a great program that most church's offer and it gets you a discount on your marriage license if it is a certified program by the state.
For most couples that communicate you won't get much out of it. What I learned is that there are a lot of people getting married that shouldn't. The older couple we did the class with told us they have a lot of couples come in that have never had a conversation about the following: Do you want kids, Who will pay the bills, What is our monthly budget, Retirement, Sex, Religion, Political Opinions, Boundaries with In-laws.
Scared the crap out of me that people are going to get married and have never talked about if the other person wants kids.
Go into it with an open mind and see what you can learn to help build your marriage. If you think you have nothing to learn you're delusional.
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Originally posted by Worksalot View PostWe talked about marriage and kids in the very beginning. Said yes and yes to both those questions as did she. Some subjects are uncomfortable but we talk about them anyways.
Also had a friends in couples counseling before they were married, that one didn't last 6 months.
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Look up Family Life A Weekend To Remember. We went after being married 2 years and again at 5 yrs. Married for 9 yrs and actually just want to go again because it's fun. Both times we attended there were quite a few pre married couples. May look expensive but most of the time they will throw you in a group deal and get 50% off. Locations all throughout the US. We went to Frisco, Tx and Jackson, Ms locations.
Highly recommend and nothing wrong with premarital counseling!
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my pastor required it before marrying us. Of course the sessions were thru him, but it was a great thing for us. We took some tests that told us about our personality traits, and due to the differences developed some processes to work thru tough situations that resulted from our personality clashes.
While we always knew we wouldn't see eye to eye on everything, the counseling helped us learn to work thru those time more effectively, which has strengthened our marriage. I would recommend it for sure, and most churches provide it.
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