Men, i need help please

[xman59]

first and only marriage started at 26 a little older than most,, 23 years later it still works and is good.. the advice about church and all is the best you will ever get... get in and stay in even if you have to change churchs a few times it will help.... something I learned a long time ago

many people say that a marriage is 50-50 its not and can not be.. the bible says the man is head of the house you must be for it to work.. doesnt mean making every decision though.. it means giving in many times just because she wants it... the best marriage arraignment is 51-49.. trust her decisions and dont get bent out of shape when something goes wrong,, all of yours wont be right either.... when she wrecks the car ask if shes allright and say ouch that musta hurt and let it go, getting mad wont make it go away or any easier to pay the repair bill.. do your part to raise your kids including keeping them when their babies and she needs to go to the store or get away a few hours with her friends....

when I got married I told my wife there were a few things that were not nor would ever be debatable... primarily what I wanted or need for work, ( as police officer) If i needed a new duty weapon a new vest, shoes or anything I could or would use for work and not to ever say anything about it ... she accepted it and I didn't abuse it...

the most important thing of all... when you give her your word to do something keep it!!!!!!!!!!!!! then you have the right to expect the same from her...good luck and God bless you like he has me!!

only three arguments in 23 years.... i'm ahead of the curve!!!

[Brett C]

Working on my 3rd & FINAL marriage here!!! Seriously, find a good Christian woman & be a good Christian HUSBAND. The rest will all take care of itself.

X2 You hit it right on the head there!!

[cantexduck]

[QUOTE=TEAM SHARK;1463353]My advise is to make sure that you both are Christians or it will never work. QUOTE]

I could not disagree more........

[delriowil]

I really do not know what to tell you but, here is what I think. Marriage is what the two of you make of it. I have been married for almost 15 years. I knew my wife in high school and really never dated. I moved off for a few years and one night I was back in her town and BAM, about a month later she was pregnant. It has not always been good for us but it has not all been bad either. two years ago after many years of fights and not knowing if that is what I really wanted We found out she was Bi-polar and going through things that I wish no one else has to go through. She has gotten her Meds right and I will say our marriage is better than it has ever been. Hell she evens like to go fishing with me and is now wanting to go hunting with me this year. It would have been easy to walk away at time but I hung in there. I was the party type and liked lots and lots and lots of girls at the time and I had to grow up fast. I have never once regreated what had happened. She had a little girl when we got together and then we had two boys.
My advise would be, YOU and only YOU know what has to be done. You know what she is needing and You know what you have to do to make things work. I hope the best for both of you. Sorry for the rambling on.

[WCB]

I was 21, my wife was 19. Very non-traditional wedding. Everyone said it wouldn't work as we were too young, not Christian enough, not enough money, too immature, didn't date long enough, yada yada yada...
Now we've had our problems too, but communicate and love her. Make her feel like she's the best thing since sliced bread. I'm always telling my wife she's my queen, my princess and the love of my life. Even when she tries to back the truck in the driveway and can't hit concrete...
I tell my wife a part of a Led Zeppelin song all the time. "If the mountains should crumble to the sea, there would still be you and me". Until you can say that and mean it every day, you ain't ready!!
Oh yeah, we've been married almost 32 years, 3 children and 1 grandkid on the way. I guess some of family and friends were wrong...
As far as being selfish, I buy hunting/archery/gun stuff all the time. Yesterday we ordered a garden window for the kitchen and it cost $750. She wanted it and all I could think of was me spending the same amount on my SB XT. Now I have to install that bad boy, but it'll be worth it. She smiled big time!!

[KSHogman]

Give her of 1/2 everything you have now .

[coop2564]

Not much I can add that the others havnt said, but good luck!

[legolas]

Let me start by stating i have been married for 17 yrs to the same woman. Certianly we have had ups and downs but overall it has been wonderful, i can only contribute it to the fact that my heavenly father is my mentor and he guides me and directs me (when i listen). His word is chalked full of direction,wisdom,and advice you just have to apply it. Just recently a movie was released and was very inspirational(fireproof). I would say that would be a good starting place, then find a good spirit filled church that might offer the fireproofing class and the love dare book. Be patient! A good quote to remember is (love conquers all). God bless and good luck!

[trailboss]

Four phrases that will take you far in married life:

1. Yes ma'am
2. No ma'am
3. No, that dress does not make your butt look fat
4. Of course I love your cat



Trailboss

[KUJays]

Married for 8 years in August and have learned a few things. Most importantly, just swallow your pride and agree regardless how ludicrous what she is saying may sound.

[Bweger]

I got married at the age of 20. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. Like others have said we have had our rough spots but we are still married and we have 3 wonderful daughters and one amazing grand daughter. We have been married for 25 years and it looks like we will be married til one of us croaks. My best advise is do what you feel is right. If you both want to be married then do it. When you do hit the rough spots talk everything out. Dont keep anything bottled up inside that will just make things worse.

[Loneaggie]

Rather than write two pages of advice I am simply going to refer you to a book I think EVERY man should read. The title is "Understanding the Mind of a Woman." After you read it you will want to burn it, throw it off a cliff, etc. The reason you won't be happy after the first read is that you will 1) know he is right 2) be mad that he is right and 3) not want to make the changes he suggests. It pretty much flies in the face of so much of our modern society thought patterns about being a husband. The book is from a Christian perspective and very very very good. Overall it centers around service and thoughtfulness. Not to steal thunder, but a lot of times what makes women happy and comfortable is knowing that the man in their life cares for them and by that I mean wants to take care of them, and enjoys it.

One of the examples from the book that really stuck with me was about errands. Let's say its Saturday and you're adding some accessory to your truck. As always you realize you're missing some vital tool or part and are going to have to run to the store to get it. There are two options "I'm headed to Autozone, be back in a few."... that's how we naturally think. However, the following sentence means so much more to the person you are delivering it too. "Babe, I have to run to Autozone for a part, do you need me to grab you anything while I'm out?" Was that really that painful? Is dropping by the grocery store for 10 minutes to get milk or whatever really going to hurt you? No, but we aren't conditioned that way these days. Its the small things like that, that build a relationship of caring, love, and respect. Get the book. Read the book. Re-read the book, Re-read the book again

[HandiKap Bowhunter]

Man age doesn't matter but wait till you are finished with school before you start any wedding plans. I was dating my wife in college and we got engaged after we were both done. I don't know if we could handle the stress of school and the stress of planning the wedding. We have been married going on 8 years in about 2 weeks and have been together for over 10 years. Good luck with your decision and just know there are ups and downs and you can never do everything right. I still get in trouble for lil things that just don't cross my mind all the time. Load unload the dishwasher, fold the clothes in the dryer, etc.

[rocky]

Why do guys have to be so dumb sometimes? What is it in our blood that makes us idiots when it comes to women??? Im hear lookin for advice. Women have got to be the most complicated thing ever and i dont understand. This is for you married men, what do you do? how do you think? what advice do you have for a young man dating the woman he wants to marry?

This is not advice, just suggestions.
1- You must be convinced that she loves you and wants to be married to you.
2- above applies to you also.
3- If #1 and #2 are met, there is no sense in not waiting for both of you to mature.
4- When you do marry, move as far as you can from both sets of parents, to avoid negative influence.
5- try to wait 5 years to have kids, so that you can enjoy each other and build a stronger bond.
6 Any doubts now will come to pass later.

[Mike D]

Los of good advice here. One thing that opened my eyes recently is the movie Fireproof. I highly recommend that you watch it. Maybe without her at first, then together.

There's 4 things that cause the most fights in a marriage, so you have to make sure that you agree on these things.

1. MONEY (#1 cause of divorce in North America is money fights)
2. Religion
3. Kids
4. In-Laws