should I act surprised?

[texashunter]

Play stupid.....absolutely nothing good comes out of your telling her you know. If she finds out you know, you are still a saint for trying to let her do her thing and least with my wife you would be. Win Win.

This

[Gunnyart]

...It could be a ruse concocted by your wife to get you to expect a b-day party....when in reality it ain't happening.....

If I believed my wife was devious enough to go to that extent I'd be massively surprised.

[systemnt]

If I believed my wife was devious enough to go to that extent I'd be massively surprised.

All part of the plan....

[meltingfeather]

My vote is do not try to deceive your wife.
Even if you pull it off it's not real.
"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair."
~C.S. Lewis

[riverbowman]

My wife would absolutely want to know. She would feel foolish if I knew about it and especially if other party attendees knew that I knew... If that even makes any sense. Some wives are different though. Not an easy decision.

[systemnt]

"sticks and stones, may hurt you but a wife is always just one disappointment away from setting you on fire" - systemnt

[Smart]

I disagree. My wife would very hurt that I lied to her and pretended not to know. Nothing good comes from lying, ever. I would just tell her my BIL spilled the beans and go from there.

Lying?..LMAO....how the "bleep" are you lying to her if its a surprise? It never comes up.

If that's a lie in a relationship, there are some problems.

[LiftAndShoot]

Um, something else to consider - make the BIL tell the wife that he let it slip.

[sir shovelhands]

Um, something else to consider - make the BIL tell the wife that he let it slip.

Now that is a solution right there.

[cbd10pt]

Go drink enough to forget. Problem solved. Just playing sort of

[30-30]

I'd lay the odds that word gets back to her that I know are about 50/50.

Is your BIL the only one who knows you know? Tell him if he opens his trap again you will break his face. Then act surprised at the party. It’s a good lie.

[mrc]

I would tell my wife I knew, but then I would tell her how happy I am. Then she would reshedule the party and not tell the BIL and let him be surprised when he shows up somewhere else all alone and doesn't know what is happening.

[AntlerCollector]

Lying?..LMAO....how the "bleep" are you lying to her if its a surprise? It never comes up.

If that's a lie in a relationship, there are some problems.

I agree with both your posts. No reason to upset her

[rfroese]

I have this same issue when it comes to Christmas gifts my wife gives me. She gets upset when I know what it is but she just can't seem to ever be able to surprise me. Either it's a box that I see where it came from or accidentally getting it shipped to the house, she never is able to surprise me.

With my wife, we value honesty over everything. As far as lying, I don't see it as a lie but I do believe in telling my wife everything.

[jb5001]

You know but don't know all of the details so there's some surprise left yet. If she finds out, just say he mentioned something but I didn't really believe him.